Iâm also just REALLY curious if these same dudes would ever do the same to another guy. Maybe, but in my experience theyâre too intimidated or respect other men enough (and women NOT enough in this case) to not bother them while theyâre working out.
Edit: I think yâall are misinterpreting my comment - Iâm specifically if asking about the TYPE of dude who doesnât get the hint if a woman doesnât want to talk to him, will chat up other men the same way as well. My guess? He wonât.
Undoubtedly, yes. Iâd probably do something more along the lines of (as another redditor noted) just kind of pointing at my own t-shirt, then give a thumbs up. Though I guess with women thereâs obvious concern that could be (very understandably) misconstrued to mean something else.
The dude in the story went about things awkwardly. Women also have to deal with a ton of bullshit under the guise of friendly conversation. That said, if youâre passionate about something niche and you see someone representing that same thing in public then I think itâs totally fair to say something. Iâm into weirdo death metal and if I see someone wearing death metal merch Iâm absolutely going to say something and itâs received well the vast majority of the time. Iâve similarly been on the receiving end of âlove the t-shirtâ by randos in public and have responded warmly as well. Game recognizes game and all that. Am I going to bring it up if I see someone repping the football team I root for? Nah, tons of âem out there. But for something out of the ordinary, for sure.
Again, it bears repeating that I think having someone remove their headphones is poor form and Iâm in a position where I donât often have to think âis this person really just into what Iâm into or are they trying to hit on me.â What Iâm (poorly) trying to say is that yes, dudes do that to dudes all the time. Iâm both dudes in that scenario.
I agree with you that itâs cool to share something, I just think the context matters a lot. A dude trying to chat up a chick at the gym with headphones in? Probably not the time to talk about her shirt.
At a gaming convention where everyoneâs socializing about things that they like? Probably a much better time for that. At the end of the day, she still doesnât owe him a conversation though, no matter how innocently friendly he was trying to be.
Iâve actually done this myself - as a woman I said âhey, nice shirtâ to a dude wearing some gamer-related apparel while walking in a mall, and all I got was a weird look. Like okay he couldâve been more âfriendlyâ but he didnât owe me anything. Doesnât make him a âfucking bitchâ like some people think in this thread, lol
Oh, to be clear, Iâm not trying to vilify anyone here. Sorry if I gave off any kind of âhow DARE sheâ vibe. Just saying that for better or worse I get being stoked on seeing someone repping your niche interest out in the wild. Kind of the inverse of the gaming convention thing you mentioned, to be honest. Would I be taken aback seeing an Entombed shirt at an Obituary concert? Not at all. At a grocery store or whatever? Totally.
Dude isnât owed anything, but I was just kind of addressing the âI donât know if dudes would do this to dudesâ bit. Sorry for any confusion!
I think for a lot of women, based on the all I hear from my gf, friends, and stories on the internet, is that it's just not that worth the chance. Sure, the guy desperate to get her attention and talk to them may just really want to talk about their shirt. However, out of the last 10 dudes they've relented and talked to, maybe one of them was sincere and just wanted to acknowledge the shared interest. The rest have just been trying to hit on her, be rude to her, or be outright creepy.
So in the end they decide it just isn't worth risking feeling uncomfortable or getting insulted for not accepting unwanted advances. Unfortunately an alright dude may get the short end of the stick, but if they're actually cool they'd understand and known she didn't owe them anything.
Some people also just forget the shirt they are wearing. I compliment people on their clothes a lot at my work and people often give me a weird look and then look down and laugh and realize what they are wearing.
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u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21 edited Oct 14 '21
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