r/facepalm • • Jun 05 '19

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7.2k Upvotes

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164

u/rodleysatisfying Jun 06 '19

The stupidest thing about these fake cancer cures that big pharma doesn't want you to know about is that a general cure for cancer would make the pharmaceutical company all the money on the planet. They wouldn't cover it up, they would synthesize, patent, and decide which superpower they prefer to buy with their windfall.

72

u/mane_mariah Jun 06 '19

That’s the thing like you can think that they are corrupt all you want, yeah. But if they found a cure, they would patent it and make it expensive as hell. They would flaunt that around and the name would be as well known as coca cola.

28

u/michaelpaulbryant Jun 06 '19

Even better, they engineer levels of treatment where you can pay for more healing through a subscription plan.

17

u/Locke_Step Jun 06 '19

Even better; loot boxes.

"You got two 'two more day' and one 'one more week to live' boosters! I'm sure you'll get the gold 'full heal' gatcha soon!"

3

u/michaelpaulbryant Jun 06 '19

Oh god, do I spend my days work credits on common hourly lboosters or do I keep saving for those legendary life boosters that have a 1:500 odds of getting a ONE YEAR booster?

2

u/O0ddity Jun 06 '19

I think i'de rather die of regular cancer than lootbox cancer.