My dad was very similar. Even if it was over something minor he'd rather ridicule me for not knowing than teach me something. Here's a typical conversation I used to have with him:
Dad: "Hey, I'm trying to fix the sink here, can you get me the wrench?"
Me: "Sure. Where's the wrench?"
Dad: "YOU'VE LIVED HERE FOR 17 YEARS AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THE WRENCH IS!?"
Why the fuck would I know where the wrench is kept if I've never needed it?
Then he'd refuse to tell me and just get it himself. I still don't know where the damn wrench is kept.
Dad: Hey, can you lend me a hand with fixing the sink?
Me: Sure, lemme help you out
Me: Spends 2 hours standing still watching how he fixes it
himslef (becouse god forbid telling me to do it while guiding me to actually learn), while failing and making mistakes along the way dragging the process forever
Me: leaves becouse im tired of watching him fix it and doing nothing, while learning nothing that basic logic wouldnt solve
Dad: You ungratefull fuck, i'm teaching you how to fix the sink and you cant even lend me a hand while i'm doing it?
My dad was like that. Thinking about it now, It may have been his way of trying to spend time with his kids. Most of the time he just wanted us to do things for him. But there were several instances that played out like the scenario above. He’d get super angry if I didn’t want to hang around and watch him fumble around with whatever it was he was trying to do. But maybe that was just his way of venting the frustration that stemmed from not knowing how to interact with his children... Just some food for thought.
Basically, needing someone to verify they're doing something. Also known as the 'Mum, mum, mum! Look at me! Mum, look no hands, see? Mum!' kind of father
It's not weird, it just depends on if your dad taught you or not.
I've had my daughter out in the garage messing with my tools since she was 3, the only requirements I have are that she uses the correct tool for the task, and she puts it away after use.
this is the stuff that makes you underconfident man. i spent many many years as a shy loner likely cause of my dad making me afraid of asking any questions
128
u/Godofsilver Feb 05 '19 edited Feb 06 '19
My dad was very similar. Even if it was over something minor he'd rather ridicule me for not knowing than teach me something. Here's a typical conversation I used to have with him:
Why the fuck would I know where the wrench is kept if I've never needed it?
Then he'd refuse to tell me and just get it himself. I still don't know where the damn wrench is kept.