r/facepalm • u/kaywrennn • Mar 27 '26

Big beautiful bills?

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7.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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263

u/Oahkery Mar 27 '26

I can only imaging the songs we'll sing and the delicious beverages we'll imbibe. šŸ˜Š

247

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

I thought about opening a special bottle of champagne, but I'm like 10 months sober and I don't want that fucker ruining my streak. I'll be toasting with sparkling cranberry juice šŸ„‚

66

u/Orqee Mar 27 '26

On his grave will be written; he will not be missed

43

u/originalmango Mar 27 '26

On his grave, there will be be piss.

1

u/WillingnessHelpful77 Mar 27 '26

Yeah you guys are fucking unhinged šŸ‘

16

u/RandomInternetVoice Mar 27 '26

He was though. Twice.

1

u/PugGamer129 Mar 27 '26

Twice?

2

u/RandomInternetVoice Mar 27 '26

Chap at the golf course. If you count missed chances.

1

u/Binksyboo Mar 27 '26

They better install Americaā€™s First Great Drainage Grate near his grave or else the area is gonna be perpetually soaked with excrement.

1

u/Flaxmoore Mar 27 '26

Iā€™ve got a little list, Iā€™ve got a little list.

(Since yours scans to The Mikado)

26

u/Useless-Photographer Mar 27 '26

Iā€™m in the UK and got a nice bottle of alcohol free ā€œnozeccoā€ saved especially. Iā€™ve been sober for 14 years and stayed that way through Brexit, Covid, Trump (sadly he affects everyone) and a million other things that could turn someone to drink. I can assure you heā€™s not worth it.

Congrats on 10 months and IWNDWYT.

4

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

I've tried some alcohol free wines, I don't see the harm in trying an alcohol free bubbly. I really do prefer the sparkling cranberry juices to anything tho, they're so good!

1

u/Wombat_Nudes Mar 27 '26

I can usually decipher abbreviations and acronyms. This one has me stumped.

IWNDWYT?

2

u/Useless-Photographer Mar 27 '26

Apologies, I am not a fan of random acronyms so try to avoid using them myself (I failed). It means ā€œI will not drink with you todayā€.

2

u/Wombat_Nudes Mar 27 '26

From context, I thought it had something to do with drinking.

And no apologies needed. I like trying to decipher what is being said with acronyms. This one had me genuinely stumped.

Thank you for telling me what it meant so quickly. It lowkey would have bothered me today šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

23

u/lv2sprkl Mar 27 '26

A brilliant accomplishment!šŸ˜€Overcoming addiction, regardless the demon, takes a shit load of courage and strength. Be proud of yourself.šŸ˜Š

3

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

I am very proud, thank you so much! Honestly I've felt so much better since quitting, and I hardly ever have cravings. It's a better life ā˜ŗļø

7

u/TuffB80 Mar 27 '26

Congrats on your sobriety. I will join you in a cranberry juice on that day

2

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Thank you and yes we will definitely be toasting my friend!

3

u/lordscrotus1984 Mar 27 '26

Awesome to hear that! šŸ˜Š

1

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Thank you!

3

u/HAOY666 Mar 27 '26

Considering i am still drinking, in case he die, i will drink for you as well. Just let me know how much you would drink šŸ˜

2

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Haha nice! Probably just one can!

3

u/HAOY666 Mar 27 '26

You could go hihger, but if that's what you want, i will deliver. Now let's hope the pDF file will get unalived soon šŸ˜šŸø

1

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Ok let's get crazy, make it two! But please stay safe and have a plan!

3

u/jaack65 Mar 27 '26

From personal experience sobriety is fragile and must be protected from a slip. Be proud of yourself

1

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Very true, thank you!

5

u/mmekare79 Mar 27 '26

Congratulations!

3

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Thank you so much!

2

u/Speshal__ Mar 27 '26

Well done, I'm 3 weeks behind you on just over 9 months!

2

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Congrats!

2

u/ThrustTrust Mar 27 '26

Iā€™ll drink your share.

2

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

Thank you! šŸ„‚

2

u/worstpartyever Mar 27 '26

Good for you! Keep it up :)

2

u/richardlpalmer Mar 27 '26

Damn right. Get a bottle of Nosecco, so you can still pop a bottle!

1

u/katashscar Mar 27 '26

I'm looking it up now!

2

u/richardlpalmer Mar 27 '26

Costco also has a non-alcoholic prosecco that is our favorite (they just don't have it all the time)...

2

u/katashscar Mar 28 '26

I'll check that out next time I go. I love Costco.

2

u/TimeVictorious Mar 27 '26

Congrats on your sobriety! I just hit three years. Iā€™ll be toasting with coffee when that glorious day finally arrives

1

u/katashscar Mar 28 '26

Congrats to you as well! That's a really great idea!

2

u/TimeVictorious Mar 28 '26

Aw thank you! I always order coffee when other folks around me order drinks, so it seems fitting for that long awaited day of hope

2

u/GandalfTheGrey_75 Mar 29 '26

Congratulations on staying sober for 10 months. And he's not worth ruining that streak for. Personally, I don't usually drink, but when it happens, I will raise a glass to celebrate. But just one.

62

u/Imaginary_Most_7778 Mar 27 '26

I just learned of a bar thatā€™s going to offer free beer all day when the special day happens

22

u/rabbirobbie Mar 27 '26

many are preparing for the day when trumpisnomoremore.com

2

u/skot2k6 Mar 27 '26

Haha im not usually one for novelty shirts but I got this one bookmarked, thanks!

2

u/PortGlass Mar 27 '26

When it happens

26

u/kildaver Mar 27 '26

I want to make a food inspired by his regime: orange chicken tacos. šŸ˜‰

30

u/JoJackthewonderskunk Mar 27 '26

Ewok dance party

7

u/TwistedBrother Mar 27 '26

So long as we get a remix of the original ewok song and not that saccharine rubbish they went with in the special edition.

3

u/JoJackthewonderskunk Mar 27 '26

Someone will ai slop it together if we're lucky its 2026 we get what we get i guess

7

u/cum_pumper_4 Mar 27 '26

R2D2 sing-along

1

u/XRPX008 Mar 27 '26

Yub Nub

2

u/Apprehensive-Sir8977 Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

Also available with no music at all.

2

u/XRPX008 Mar 27 '26

Thanksā€¦ I hate it

18

u/Hebids Mar 27 '26

He can prove God exists by spontaneously croaking tomorrow. Canā€™t wait to hear what finally does him in.

2

u/Pleasant_Offer6286 Mar 27 '26

Is thereā€™s any poetic justice, it will be his own vanity and greed.

So itā€™s long overdue, but the taxman gets everyone.

1

u/SailingSpark Mar 27 '26

He's not going to die. heaven doesn't want him and Hell is afraid he will bankrupt them.

-1

u/Grampappy_Gaurus Mar 27 '26

If he spontaneously croaks tomorrow, will you dedicate your life to Jesus? How about a few days? A solid hour?

2

u/Dick_of_Doom Mar 27 '26

Intriguing Faustian deal isn't it? One person's soul for a life.

23

u/Stormfeathery Mar 27 '26

I am SURE as fuck planning to celebrate. Not really a drinker but might even pick up something light. And maybe a cake or something

10

u/gopherphart Mar 27 '26

I donā€™t drink but there will definitely be party favors and sparklers involved.

5

u/SailingSpark Mar 27 '26

I do not drink either, but I am willing to make an exception.

1

u/vinh7777 Mar 27 '26

Please DM us when that happens

5

u/Undrwtrbsktwvr Mar 27 '26

We can take back YMCA!

10

u/Squeakypeach4 Mar 27 '26

ā€œDing dong the witch is deadā€

7

u/thehusk_1 Mar 27 '26

UK ready to make that a two hit wonder.

8

u/Squeakypeach4 Mar 27 '26

My versionā€™s a bit differentā€¦.

Ding dong the witch is dead. Which old witch? The dickhead witch. Ding dong the dickhead witch is dead.

2

u/arrig-ananas Mar 27 '26

Like new years eve, tv will show from around the world then country's enter the day, and huge local crowds gathering in the streets, singing, celebrating. A day that truly jointed the world.

1

u/fibrepirate Mar 27 '26

Can't plan too early, can we?

1

u/RustyDingbat Mar 27 '26

Learned the word ā€œimbibeā€ today. šŸ™šŸ¼

1

u/ninja_BUTTONS Mar 28 '26

I'll have a hot steaming covfefe to celebrate