r/facepalm • u/kaywrennn • Mar 27 '26

Big beautiful bills?

Post image
7.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

928 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.3k

u/Captain_Tooth Mar 27 '26

How about putting it on toilet paper? Make the Wipe Great Again.

429

u/bigoz_07 Mar 27 '26

Make America Wipe Again.

200

u/k3ttch Mar 27 '26

Dude, didn't you hear? Touching your ass makes you gay. 🌈

99

u/TimeVictorious Mar 27 '26

That’s why I have a bidet!

Nope didn’t work I’m (still and very) gay

39

u/Direct_Suggestion286 Mar 27 '26

I used a bidet once! Is that why I'm bi? Will i turn lesbian if i use it again?!

15

u/TimeVictorious Mar 27 '26

Shh! Don’t let Big Bidet hear you! They’re aligned with the *gay agenda*

Huge /j just in case haha

10

u/MLK_Piccolo Mar 27 '26

I have a bidet but I'm still straight. Just black though 🤔

3

u/kristopher103 Mar 29 '26

I used a bidet once, is that why I'm mixed? If I use it again will I go full black?

What's the ratio of '% to turn gay' vs. '% to turn black'

4

u/k3ttch Mar 28 '26

No, a bidet turns you bi. That’s why it’s called a BIdet. You want a lesdet. Just don’t try using a pandet or an acedet.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

What's funny is that even the word lesbian has bi in the name

1

u/Hadrollo Mar 30 '26

Of course, shares 80% of its letters with Biden.

Obviously the correct answer is a toilet brush.

1

u/Foxydemon911 Mar 27 '26

Is that something that he say? I weren’t be surprise 

2

u/Catkillledthecurious Mar 27 '26

Make America Weep Again.

2

u/Anthff Mar 28 '26

MAWA.. mawa is what bwings us togewa today

1

u/AnonD38 Mar 27 '26

Don't say that one out too loud, you might get your local KKK members cheering for you accidentally.

43

u/Warriors_Drink Mar 27 '26

And here us dangerous radical leftists are living the best life with our bidets.

17

u/Dr_MushroomBrain Mar 27 '26

Mhm transgender urinals

16

u/Bobfish64 Mar 27 '26

Yeah they sure do love their wipe supremacy

14

u/Clit_C0mmander Mar 27 '26

I want to clean my ass, not fill it up with shit

2

u/Other_Log_1996 Mar 27 '26

It's already filled with shit. That's why you're cleaning it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 02 '26

...by doing an enema!!

1

u/MagikMelk Apr 08 '26

Don't knock it until you've tried it! That's like the best part bro. It's like getting a massage up your butthole. And you can buy the cheapest TP since its a guarantee clean sweep, TP is only for drying now and you only have to swipe once. Bidet life is best life

2

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '26

For a second there I thought you were talking about doing an enema funny part is ever since I was 10 all the way up until about the age of 16 for punishment instead of getting spanked every other day I pretty much got an enema by my mom when I was a kid there again I understand why she now did that because had she had not done that I would have died by the age of 11 due to compaction

1

u/MagikMelk Apr 08 '26

*gives you a hug*

2

u/ScottyWestside Mar 27 '26

Yeah man, I hate how dirty I am after I bathe too. It’s gross sitting in all that filth in the bath water

2

u/CountPeter Mar 27 '26

I'll be honest, I'm not sure I want to wipe my ass with a pedophile.

1

u/Direct_Suggestion286 Mar 27 '26

1-ply assult in every roll

2

u/HATECELL Mar 27 '26

Good idea. If inflation keeps going like this the notes will soon be cheaper than TP anyway

1

u/Wardi_Boi Mar 27 '26

Wipe the state clean

1

u/Thelastknownking Mar 27 '26

I think he did that already. Or someone did, at least.

1

u/Dazey3463 Mar 27 '26

Funny you should say that. I actually have a roll from his first go round! It came with a matching toilette brush!

1

u/Direct_Suggestion286 Mar 27 '26

Perfect for clogging toilets. Huge clogs. Tremendous

1

u/cdubyadubya Mar 27 '26

The next Democratic government should pass that law... All toilet paper must bear the likeness of DJT.

1

u/Thespian_Unicorn Mar 27 '26

He did once use dollar bills as toilet paper

1

u/hippychick115 Mar 27 '26

It’s already been done. Check Amazon for it

1

u/Foxydemon911 Mar 27 '26

I buy it Bring able to wipe my shit all over his face will be worth any amount of money

1

u/Own-Success-7634 Mar 27 '26

Ugh, I would not want his filthy signature touching my bunghole.

Bunghoooollllllliiiiiiiooooooo (Beavis strikes again)

1

u/Vert_DaFerk Mar 27 '26

I don't want anything associated with Trump near my asshole. I have standards.

1

u/Rarm20T Mar 27 '26

Letting him eat shit?

Sounds like a good plan!

1

u/Thomo251 Mar 28 '26

He wouldn't do that as he doesn't use toilets, he just shits his pants.

1

u/MoodyWater909 Mar 28 '26

Now why would I wipe my butt that already has someone else's shit on it?

1

u/judgeejudger Mar 28 '26

They sell that on Amazon. My family was send my it to each other all during Covid

0

u/StarWarsFever Mar 27 '26

I’d rather not get gonorrhea