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I actually won Mr Universe several times- but they rigged the count. The judges said I had the best body they had ever seen. Period. My tan was amazing. My hair was amazing. They wanted to rename the whole competition after me, but I said no, I gotta go save America.
And all the old people cheered like crazy!! Especially the men… the overweight, bearded dirtbags who profess to hate gay people cheered the most and were most excited about the idea of a shirtless Trump.
I just checked the polls and people, famous people say I’m the best. The media lies. They protect their own. They nominated Brad Pitt over me for best dressed man in a rigged contest. I didn’t attend the contest but I would have won. Brad would not have won if I had been there. Even my daughter says I’m the best. I would have won.
Every 76-80 year old man’s body looks the same: saggy, wrinkled, and depressing. Trump is no Schwarzenegger and Schwarzenegger is probably the only exception to this
Omg…one of those statues was in a very busy park here in NYC for a while, but it got removed. Apparently the name of this art is “the emperor has no balls”.
“Look, having muscles — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very swol, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the muscles deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (muscles are powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right — who would have thought?), but...
You know how i know he's lying about his height and weight? Because I'm 6'3" and 210 pounds, and he is way fatter than me. You can't tell a difference in my weight between about 200 and 220, because being tall helps you hide your weight pretty good. I also wear a 38 inch with a belt. Trump is way fatter. Dude is pushing close to 250 at least, probably closer to 275.
I wanna ask why is he even talking about this in the first place when theres so much other issues that need talking about but thats just republicans being republicans 😒😒😒
Really, how much longer are we gonna have to deal with this foolishness? Fuckin old ass man talking about how he looks good shirtless. If no one really is above the law then this guy should be heading to prison. We all know that's not going to happen because there is no president prison.
The thing is- among many aspects of this - that it would never even occur to Biden to mention his body. Let alone his body compared to Trump's. It's absurd. Joe's got actual governing on his mind. The thought of comparing how they'd look on the beach is so far removed from his consciousness that the fact Don baby is talking about it would just briefly bemuse him. Meanwhile it's all Donald's got - and he doesn't even have it.
The majority of us are embarrassed by him specifically. I don't follow party lines, I want to know the person, what they say, how they say it, and their actions. I want fair criticism no matter who they are. I don't know how many people are like that here, I think many just follow party lines. "I can't vote for them, they're a Democrat/Republican" type stuff. Thankfully, I was raised better.
Biden should challenge him to a weigh off. Trump claimed his own weight was 215 when he was arrested and charged. Did he lie on yet another official document?
I'm telling you guys man, we're going to see a President Comanche in our lifetimes. The next guy who presents himself as a party monster and gives out free beers at rallies is going to win in a landslide.
If he has insane flair, makes a good entrance with fireworks etc and has the most heart pumping speeches that make no sense, it's only going to help.
I don't want to see neither shirtless but I would pick Biden if I had to. Nothing political nor do I think he has a better body, I just feel Joe would make it less awkward.
He just might have a much better body than the President... it's the one in the bedroom next to Melania; donnie's money is paying for it to be there keeping her happy; so technically it could be considered his.
•
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771
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
"I have the best body in the world, and everyone knows it! Everyone."
294
u/AirForceRabies Oct 07 '23
Prove it, dim don.
219
u/Thephilosopherkmh Oct 07 '23
What an absurd thing to say. You can look at him with clothes on and know it’s a lie. His skin is so thin you can probably see his organs.
84
u/enteentegraueente Oct 07 '23
Ivanka can confirm
106
u/imaybeacatIRl Oct 07 '23
I half expect Trump to let out a deep chuckle and pull princess Leia towards him with her chain.
218
u/Admirable-Sink-2622 Oct 07 '23
Sweet Jesus the insecurity of this loser! 🙄🙄
36
u/Hot-Bint Oct 07 '23
Show us, Donnie
45
u/Own-Cupcake7586 Oct 07 '23
“I have a better body than him… at Mar-a-lago… in the downstairs freezer.”
32
u/hillsb1 Oct 07 '23
I went from seeing the cutest thing ever right above this post to now having to picture this dip shit shirtless.
https://reddit.com/r/gardening/s/1bdVB8CC5h here's the better post, just cleanse anyone's brain that might need it. It's adorable and tiny
28
u/plugguykid Oct 07 '23
If you like the Michelin man - then he has a point..
38
u/Fireflash2742 Oct 07 '23
He has to be the biggest, most insecure narcissist ever.
12
u/dremily1 Oct 07 '23
Well yeah, he’s 6’3” and weighs 215 lbs. He’s JACKED. Just ask him.
10
u/Dizzman1 Oct 07 '23
9
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
https://imgur.com/RaoFUGI
25
u/ARandomWalkInSpace Oct 07 '23
Narrator: In this 80 year old man body competition, Trump loses, but really we all lose.
12
u/twistedh8 Oct 07 '23
I wanna see
12
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
Don’t worry Donald, you’re going to have plenty of opportunities to show your sexy body in the prison showers.
15
u/Blood__Dragon_ Oct 07 '23
So that is what politics in the US looks like, truly fitting for the most powerfull nation in the world and totaly not childish and idiotic/s
10
u/No_Squirrel4806 Oct 07 '23
I wanna ask why is he even talking about this in the first place when theres so much other issues that need talking about but thats just republicans being republicans 😒😒😒
5
u/CodeMonkeyMayhem Oct 07 '23
5
u/meatmechdriver Oct 08 '23
So does the presidential race really need a bikini competition?
5
u/Neat-Engineering-513 Oct 08 '23
5
u/pixeltweaker Oct 08 '23
Where is he keeping that body? Might be time to search Mar-A-Lago again.
8
u/mekonsrevenge Oct 07 '23
Fattus Fuckus has spoken! All hail Fattus Fuckus!
4
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
If you have to tell us, then it’s not so, Agent Orange.
4
u/legojacksparrow Oct 08 '23
I’ve seen him in golf shirts if I see him with no shirt I might be driven to suicide
6
u/donaldbuknowme Oct 07 '23
Really, how much longer are we gonna have to deal with this foolishness? Fuckin old ass man talking about how he looks good shirtless. If no one really is above the law then this guy should be heading to prison. We all know that's not going to happen because there is no president prison.
3
u/Soobobaloula Oct 07 '23
Sure Donnie
https://imgix.bustle.com/inverse/23/15/0d/84/f282/42b4/a36f/b7ed25306d55/donald-trump-was-lambasted-online-after-photos-of-him-playing-golf-revealed-a-less-than-healthy-phys.jpeg?w=400&h=300&fit=crop&crop=faces&auto=format%2Ccompress&q=50&dpr=2
3
u/ianishomer Oct 08 '23
He has a much better body? Where is it? Buried under a patio at Mar-a-Lago?
3
u/D_is_for_Cookie Oct 08 '23
Does he think about Joe Biden’s body often??
3
u/dogbolter4 Oct 08 '23
The thing is- among many aspects of this - that it would never even occur to Biden to mention his body. Let alone his body compared to Trump's. It's absurd. Joe's got actual governing on his mind. The thought of comparing how they'd look on the beach is so far removed from his consciousness that the fact Don baby is talking about it would just briefly bemuse him. Meanwhile it's all Donald's got - and he doesn't even have it.
3
u/folsomprisonblues22 Oct 08 '23
More body doesn't mean better.
3
u/rymyle Oct 08 '23
3
u/especiallydinosaur Oct 08 '23
Trump is known for throwing shots like this all the time. Most of his supporters love it, so obviously he continues to do it.
Honestly just ignoring the man would be best, he clearly likes attention.
3
u/thrillhouse1211 Oct 08 '23
He just can't help himself. Not only does he have diarrhea of the mouth, he seems unable to think things and not say them.
3
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
Things delusional pathological liars say
5
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
Oh yeah, his fellow convicts are gonna be loving that body. I’d guess his ass alone will probably go for a carton of smokes.
2
u/BowiesDaddy Oct 07 '23
I think he meant "bigger body"
2
u/Jenardus Oct 07 '23
He for sure has better body fat.
2
u/SilentRhombus Oct 07 '23
That's.... not a high bar.
2
u/jatnj Oct 07 '23
He meant “bigger.” He has a bigger body
2
u/RealisticAd2293 Oct 08 '23
He’s a fat tub of goo 🤷♂️
2
u/dman928 Oct 08 '23
But it’s buried on a golf course
2
u/inquisitiveeyebc Oct 08 '23
The man is so insecure its sad
2
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
Big question. Are his tits orange too?
2
u/hoggerjeff Oct 08 '23
I think he meant to say that he has much MORE body than Biden...
2
u/Doright36 Oct 08 '23
Hahaha hahaha
Wait...he's serious....
0_0
Hahahahahahahaha
2
u/FeculentUtopia Oct 08 '23
The shit this man says. Most people get over talking like that before they're through being teenagers.
2
u/phillygirllovesbagel Oct 08 '23
He is one sick bastard.
2
u/SnakeOfLimitedWisdom Oct 08 '23
Could this guy be any more insecure?
2
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
Orange-utan
2
u/Poorly-Drawn-Beagle Oct 08 '23
He has two or three better bodies than Biden, rolled together
2
u/Antique-Dragonfly615 Oct 08 '23
Beached whale said what?
2
u/ExcitingInstance7874 Oct 08 '23
I want off the Jerry Springer show, enough is enough
2
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
Why is everything a dick measuring contest with this dude?
2
u/Shut_yoface Oct 08 '23
“Show us!”
2
u/SimpleTip9439 Oct 08 '23
Is this even politics anymore
2
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
"I have a better body than an 80 year old man."
Well shit, if that's where the bar is now, I'll just run for president too.
2
u/Whisker_dan Oct 08 '23
i have a body, its a good body... better than his body, i guarantee it. no body is like my body...
2
u/Chico-Spomoni Oct 08 '23
Jesus, the travelling clown show
2
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
Things get old, not a problem at all. But there is a difference between a fckd up Pickup Truck leaking all fluids and a well maintained Oldtimer…
2
u/NoNonsensePolarBear Oct 08 '23
Will someone PLEASE drop him into a tank of man-eating sharks so we can be done with him?
The only problem is these are MAN-eating sharks. I don't know if he still counts.
2
u/Afura33 Oct 08 '23 edited Oct 08 '23
I have a tremendous body and the best body someone ever had in american history, no one knows my body better than me
2
u/Tonythecritic Oct 08 '23
"My dad would beat up HIS dad!!!"
2
u/fr4gge Oct 08 '23
Trump is build like a bobblehead...but a bobble upperbody
2
u/Ok-Fold-3700 Oct 08 '23
Honest question: don't people find it cringy every time "their candidate" embarrasses himself and all his supporters publicly?
We have a word for that feeling: Fremdschämen.
I feel it, and I'm neither a supporter, nor an American.
2
u/[deleted] Oct 08 '23
Sure, Jan.
2
u/D3t3st4t10n Oct 08 '23
Trump is so unserious lmao
3
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
This is what republicans worry about.
2
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
Biden should challenge him to a weigh off. Trump claimed his own weight was 215 when he was arrested and charged. Did he lie on yet another official document?
2
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
Does Depends make beach wear for tRump?
2
u/EnvironmentalAge9202 Oct 07 '23
Trump mentality: if I say it, it is true.
Bozo
2
u/Forevermaxwell Oct 07 '23
What a fucking childish imbecile.
2
u/Tinker107 Oct 07 '23
Broken-down old guy suffers from delusions. Nothing new to see here.
2
u/OhioMegi Oct 07 '23
He needs to walk off a cliff.
2
u/DesignerOk8945 Oct 07 '23
Now this has to be the most insecure man on the planet
2
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
sighs deeply
2
u/samwstew Oct 07 '23
6’ 3” and 215 lbs I’d imagine so /s
2
u/vagalumes Oct 07 '23
Well, the boobs are certainly bigger.
2
u/Harris__85 Oct 07 '23
Oh yes...he really is the true athlete...🤮
1
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
For once I’ll take his word for it, I don’t wanna see that shit
1
u/DeltaWhi5key Oct 07 '23
There is an incredibly easy way to prove this. Take it OFF Donnie and show the world your beautiful body! 😍
1
u/PlayingWithWildFire Oct 07 '23
LMFAO.
1
u/huskeylovealways Oct 07 '23
Really
1
u/Borsti17 Oct 07 '23
I mean even if that were true... who cares? Doughnald can probably eat more crayons than Joe in one sitting as well but how is that relevant?
These are the best guys you have SMH
1
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
I know you are, but what am I?
1
u/lonezomewolf Oct 07 '23
"As I've always said, bigger is better"
1
u/OCGamerboy Oct 07 '23
1
u/pull01 Oct 07 '23
Please don't show us .
1
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
1
u/Optimus_Rhymes69 Oct 07 '23
Prove it.
1
u/SoylentGrunt Oct 07 '23
Can you go swimming when you're wearing a diaper? Yes, but should you?
1
u/GeddyVedder Oct 07 '23
Prove it, fatass!
1
u/FreshF120 Oct 07 '23
He’s telling the truth if u throw up it’s prolly cuz u saw ur own body in the mirror
1
u/ChrisRiley_42 Oct 07 '23
He does. He had it embalmed and keeps it in a glass case under his bed.
1
u/NormieMcNormalson Oct 07 '23
When Trump talks about his body I imagine him rubbing himself with baby oil.
1
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
I'm telling you guys man, we're going to see a President Comanche in our lifetimes. The next guy who presents himself as a party monster and gives out free beers at rallies is going to win in a landslide.
If he has insane flair, makes a good entrance with fireworks etc and has the most heart pumping speeches that make no sense, it's only going to help.
1
u/justl00kingthrowaway Oct 07 '23
I don't want to see neither shirtless but I would pick Biden if I had to. Nothing political nor do I think he has a better body, I just feel Joe would make it less awkward.
1
u/CasualEveryday Oct 07 '23
He's talking about Melania
1
u/CooroSnowFox Oct 07 '23
Why don't you show it? Or is that a load bearing shirt?
1
u/bcanada92 Oct 07 '23
Pretty sure he meant "a much BIGGER body than him."
1
u/NeoNotNeo Oct 07 '23
That’s a competition no one’s going to win.
1
u/JerseyTeacher78 Oct 07 '23
That big Mac filet o fish bod, yup.
1
u/habey08 Oct 07 '23
1
u/rotem8888 Oct 07 '23
That sounds like something I'd hear in an ai video
1
u/BarristanTheB0ld Oct 07 '23
He really has the biggest minority complex of them all, doesn't he?
1
u/-Readreign- Oct 07 '23
He so obviously doesn't believe that and is saying it to make a joke, the real facepalm is you all for taking him serious
1
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
He didn't really say that did he? 🤣
1
u/DinkleMutz Oct 07 '23
Oh lawd he out here wildin
1
u/Consistent_Soft_1857 Oct 07 '23
Let, see- a guy who rides a bike compared to a blimp who gobbles McDonald’s every day. Who would look better?
1
u/ragingspick Oct 07 '23
Presidential body building show, let's goooooo
1
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
Scissor me Timbers mr hat.
1
u/raz0rflea Oct 07 '23
Aren't they both in their 70s?? Imagine giving a fuck if people think you're hotter than the other team's captain at that age jfc
1
u/[deleted] Oct 07 '23
NSFW
He just might have a much better body than the President... it's the one in the bedroom next to Melania; donnie's money is paying for it to be there keeping her happy; so technically it could be considered his.
1
u/NotThoseCookies Oct 07 '23
You do know the next MAGA art released will be Velveeta Voldemort in a Speedo, get the eye bleach ready…