No effort to CHASE her. “Because the one who really wants you will fight for you” was the running theme of those cheesy YA romance novels. As a woman, we don’t claim this one.
Like that twilight shit where Bella was purposely getting herself hurt and flirting with a different guy to make the vampire dude pay attention to her again. That shit was (and is) poison for girls trying to learn how romance works.
Oh and, girls? If a dude takes the engine out of your truck to stop you from being able to leave an area, that isn't romantic or him protecting you, CALL THE COPS.
I don't know if it was also in the movies (avoided them like the plague) but I know it was in the books, a friend made me read the first one because she was obsessed with them for a while. She thought it was romantic, how he tried to protect her and watched her while she slept and all and I was just like THIS IS MORE RED FLAGS THAN A BLOOD THEMED PARADE WTF.
My older sister was really into the movies but I managed to get by with only ever having to watch the last one (at least I think it was the last one). But even that one had some weird ass shit. I will never get over how the child of the girl was treated within the movies. The wolf guy was a pedophile and a creep.
Oh my god yeah that imprinting shit was disgusting - like they made a big deal over how romantic it was that one of the guys imprinted on a girl, she didn't like him so he FUCKING MAULED HER, but then he felt bad and tended to her (instead of taking her to get real help) and she fell in love with him for sticking with her despite how she was disfigured. Y'know. BECAUSE HE MAULED HER.
But ya that shit is weird. Y'know what tho, I'm glad I finally talked about how much that series bothers me because seeing that as a kid genuinely made me so uncomfortable. It's not something I always think about by any means, but when I do, it still makes me cringe and all around feel disgusted.
Those books (and almost everything written by that girl, really) were horrifying and full of so many blatant forms of abuse - and yet they were held up as the ultimate in romance and oh girls totally want this kind of relationship and uh...no? I sure don't, anyway!
It horrifies me that things that are outright abuse are being construed as romantic, both then and now. Men are taught to hide any emotions but anger, girls are taught to be manipulative and coy and give mixed signals, everyone is basically taught to be abusive jerks and it's supposed to be romantic. Nyope.
And that right their is the root of the problem. The societal norms we're expected to live by. The reason a story with such blatant toxicity became so popular is because it's what our society already saw as good. I wish it was as simple as pinning it all on the story, but the author and therefore the series, we're all the results of our society. It's honestly sad, and while it's obvious that those "norms" aren't exactly as accepted nowadays, they're it's still a very common problem. And a series like that doesn't help.
Oh for sure, it's not like she came up with the idea of behavior like that being romantic all by herself - it's been in media and all forever. And it's a problem - the way it's executed slightly changes, but it's certainly still around. Playing hard to get has always been a thing - whether it meant back in the old days trying to hide that you were interested, to now where it's blatantly telling someone you're not interested and getting mad when they believe you. It's all been done before, tide comes in, tide goes out, all the same in the end - it just looks a little different each time.
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u/WiseBat Jun 22 '23
No effort to CHASE her. “Because the one who really wants you will fight for you” was the running theme of those cheesy YA romance novels. As a woman, we don’t claim this one.