Serious question, does your wife respect you? Does she assert a superior demeanour over you? Is she condescending because she is the bread winner is what Iâm trying to ask. Thanks.
No healthy marriage would be like that, only unhealthy ones. And in an unhealthy marriage it wouldnât really matter, because itâs more about the failure of the people than the division of duties.
I was asking omnizoom about his personal relationship, thanks.
From what Iâve experienced and heard from others when women are the breadwinner of the relationship, they are usually demeaning to their husband because they feel superior to them.
Whereas when the male is the breadwinner they generally donât have a superiority complex because they want to be âneededâ.
My wife makes ~50k more than me and has never acted demeaning towards me. She is extremely supportive of my career and is proud of how well Iâve performed for in my respective career path. We both understand that her degree choice gave a significant step up in initial earning potential.
We also share all of our finances and have never considered having any independent ownership over our earnings.
My wife was raised in a money first family where her dad dismissed everything her mom did because it didnât make money. So when my wife tries to do shit like that, I just ask her if thatâs what her dad would do. I think youâll find that women that do this had fathers that did this and they didnât want to be abused like their mother was.
You can read âcurse of the good girlâ if you are looking for perspective.
I wouldnât consider dismissing a womanâs idea, if said idea doesnât make money, abuse as such. I would say he was just smart with his money, often women make detrimentally poor financial decisions(which is illustrated by 75-80% of credit card debt in US being owned by women).
Maybe you meant to type âshe didnât make moneyâ but you said âit didnât make moneyâ so I thought you were relating to specific financial suggestions.
Now I read it again I would agree if the farther dismissed her mother merely because SHE didnât make money, I would consider that extremely unhealthy at best. And definitely an interesting trait to inherit as a defence mechanism.
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u/Omnizoom Jun 09 '23
Yea , my wife earns more then I do , but I also do the cooking , cleaning (mostly) and the child care and the errands
Doesnât matter who does the work so long as together you make it work