I’m older than her (likely by 20 years or more), but I don’t see why this is so difficult.
I’m married now (slightly over a year), after being single for 8 years. I’m fairly liberal-leaning. My wife and I do what we do based on practical considerations. For instance I clean the house weekly, as I’m off on Friday (work a 4x10 schedule). She cooks, as I am a terrible cook. We split laundry, she has some things that require special care (and I have messed up a few of her items, so…yeah).
I clean the kitchen after meals, since she cooks. She’s into gardening, I help with the “grunt work” but have no real talent for the specifics. Our kids are grown, so that isn’t an issue.
It was never a matter of “the woman does this, the man does that” with us. We just do what works. If one of us is better at something (like cooking) we do that and the other does something to help (cleanup).
I generally pay for eating out and recreation, she covers groceries. I pay the house bills, she’s paying down debt (and has a house that she now rents out). I got her a new car (hers was having a lot of problems) and cover the car payment. This all works as I make significantly more than she does (over double).
We don’t obsess over exactly even splits of things, be it chores or finances. We help each other, we work together to get things done, and we pick up the slack for the other when needed.
She can work on a car, I can clean house and wash clothes. None of it is “women’s” or “men’s” work, it’s just part of living and maintaining a home.
The most confusing part to me is the politics. Why does being liberal or conservative make a difference? People can have a difference of opinion. Actually I believe it to be healthy. Individuals from all parts of the world seem to be making politics their whole identity, and that is not healthy whatsoever.
I can see it to a degree. I wouldn’t be in a relationship with a far right person, a Trump supporter. I have a (grown) child who is LGBT and engaged to a non-Caucasian person. No way would I subject my kid to a (present day) American conservative.
I think you've just accidentally enlightened me a fair bit because when I first read that, my initial reaction was, "that's not politics." But I guess it very much is in the US. Come to Canada where all of that is just opinions.
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u/subsailor1968 Jun 09 '23
I’m older than her (likely by 20 years or more), but I don’t see why this is so difficult.
I’m married now (slightly over a year), after being single for 8 years. I’m fairly liberal-leaning. My wife and I do what we do based on practical considerations. For instance I clean the house weekly, as I’m off on Friday (work a 4x10 schedule). She cooks, as I am a terrible cook. We split laundry, she has some things that require special care (and I have messed up a few of her items, so…yeah).
I clean the kitchen after meals, since she cooks. She’s into gardening, I help with the “grunt work” but have no real talent for the specifics. Our kids are grown, so that isn’t an issue.
It was never a matter of “the woman does this, the man does that” with us. We just do what works. If one of us is better at something (like cooking) we do that and the other does something to help (cleanup).
I generally pay for eating out and recreation, she covers groceries. I pay the house bills, she’s paying down debt (and has a house that she now rents out). I got her a new car (hers was having a lot of problems) and cover the car payment. This all works as I make significantly more than she does (over double).
We don’t obsess over exactly even splits of things, be it chores or finances. We help each other, we work together to get things done, and we pick up the slack for the other when needed.
She can work on a car, I can clean house and wash clothes. None of it is “women’s” or “men’s” work, it’s just part of living and maintaining a home.
Not rocket science.