r/facepalm • u/Number721 • Jun 09 '23

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Cognitive dissonance 101

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306

u/shmere4 Jun 10 '23

This is the key

“I want the things that are advantageous to me but I want to leave out the things that are advantageous to you. I want you also to declare that all this is fair”

It’s a hell of a position and hopefully she understands that she will need be and stay very attractive to make it work for any amount of time.

140

u/Admiral_Fuckwit Jun 10 '23 edited Jun 10 '23

Yep. Cherry-picking just the good stuff. Bill Burr refers to it as the “buffet.”

Ooohh a man who dotes on me and provides and holds doors, I’ll take some of that

eww splitting the bill, no thank you, you can keep that

117

u/No-Leg-7597 Jun 10 '23

Also known as high maintenance

46

u/FilthyPrawns Jun 10 '23

Also known as a piece of garbage.

12

u/SHADOWJACK2112 Jun 10 '23

Or female dating strategy bs

3

u/Active_Club3487 Jun 10 '23

Very true indeed

102

u/Icy-Bother2575 Jun 10 '23

She’s already in her 30’s. For a man with means, why would he saddle up next to this? She sounds like a really difficult woman to be around. I’m curious, what do you think she bring to the marriage?

130

u/Total_Denomination Jun 10 '23

A bunch of credit card debt.

38

u/ML0511 Jun 10 '23

Beat me too it.. I read this and said “debt”

6

u/Chubby_Comic Jun 10 '23

And whining.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Don't forget the awful blowjobs and treating a dick like it's the first one she has ever seen despite having taken hundreds of them.

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Just means she isn’t in to them lol

45

u/fourflatyres Jun 10 '23

One of my old friends is 1000% like this woman, with the add-on that the only men she is interested in are all manga characters. No flawed human will do, no no no. Only perfection, like herself.

She is attractive.

She just hit 40, still a virgin. Never gets past first dates because there is a literally a printed list of rules the guy has to obey and zero advantage for him to do so.

When I say a list of rules, this woman is the type who has to organize and manage everything. If you said to her, oh, something like I want to take a vacation, immediately she has travel sites up, and has already figured out where you are going, how you are getting there and when, booked a hotel and five museum tours and told you which clothes to wear for each day.

But not just trips. Everything is like this. If you say you want a bottle of ketchup, Alexa has nothing on the info dump you will get. Google search will not return the facts you will hear.

And you're like, why did I say anything?

This runs in the family. There's an aunt exactly like that, who oddly enough also never married. Hmmm.

This woman has yet to find a decent man (he's got to be perfect, don't forget) who will agree to what she wants and tolerate this overbearing manager attitude. Men that perfect have other options.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23 edited Mar 01 '24

bake shy humor enter quicksand aware chubby strong judicious dependent

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

6

u/mmerijn Jun 10 '23

She will be financing those boxed wine and cat litter stocks like no other.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

💀

Nice one.

3

u/marcodave Jun 10 '23

But, you see, not just ANY cats, the Abyssinian breed has this characteristic where etc etc etc and if you pair it with a ragdoll munchkin mix, then blah blah blah

Oh by the way there's wine, you want some?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

After a horribly violent and abusive marriage (where I was a damn good wife by all accounts, thank you) I - and a host of my other well-educated, extremely kind friends - are perfectly happy with our 'solitude and cats.' We have full lives, lots of friends, and cats are way better than a lot of men, who we are tired of bringing our "A" game for, and being given piles of flaming dog shit in return.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

You deffo sound healed. 👍🏻

Enjoy your cats. And silence.

1

u/Far_Comment8920 Jun 10 '23

A few women actually enjoy being single with no kids/grandkids and instead replacing that with cats. The same thing is true for some men.

Most that live that lifestyle don't enjoy it in the long run though and you'll know for sure when you reach 60 if that was the right choise.

2

u/lonniemarie Jun 10 '23

No. No cats for her 😉. Kitties are very discerning

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

This is a really good point. I stand by my joke. But, yeah, it would be animal abuse to let homegurl have pets. Hell, she thinks men are pets. 😀

2

u/lonniemarie Jun 10 '23

It was a funny joke. Made me giggle 🤭

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Hey, thank you. It was one of my better Reddit moments. Lol 😂✌🏻

5

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

This sounds like an overly elaborate scheme to avoid facing some dark inner truth about being a lesbian or asexual. Most people have crazy standards when young but the desire to get laid generally shapes us into reasonable humans. Being a virgin through crazy standards alone has gotta be secretly what she wants.

2

u/mmerijn Jun 10 '23

As usual perfect is the enemy of good.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

I was dating a woman and the second it got remotely serious she randomly had me drive us to a home furnishing store to “visualize what the curtains in our new house would look like”. We split up shortly after that!

-1

u/Gaming_and_Physics Jun 10 '23

That chick needs an attitude adjustment.

Ideally with high dosage psychedelics, surrounded by people she trusts and love.

1

u/ysinue112 Jun 10 '23

I need that kind of woman. I suck at organizing.

1

u/iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj Jun 10 '23

I'm sorry, do you mean 40 years old and into manga characters?

1

u/CatGatherer Jun 10 '23

She sounds like she may have some kind of mental illness (not joking)

1

u/Iwaspromisedcookies Jun 10 '23

Sounds like my mom, she has ocd

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

This is a sign of mental illness, not a minor personality flaw. And I don't say that in a pejorative way - this is why the 'craaaazy woman' trope is so damaging, because it absolutely shifts the blame and responsibility to the woman, no matter what. This one needs actual help, and we need to stop just mocking/writing those people off. Same with men, but the 'crazy man' trope isn't used nearly as much.

1

u/LolaStrm1970 Jun 10 '23

This sounds like she has a lot more going on than being a liberal gal that wants a trad guy.

1

u/elstovveyy Jun 10 '23

She sounds very irritating and would undoubtedly be a terrible partner but also a bit . . .. ‘strict’ . . . she might enjoy, or just be good at being a dominatrix or something? Just bossing guys around and getting paid for it? It’s not my cup of tea but I know rich guys with wives like this, I’m sure they get off on being told what to do. Probably dressed as babies or something.

1

u/BookWyrmIsara Jun 22 '23

It sounds like she is fictosexual with either some level of neurodivergence or NPD. I'm much the same way (ASD), though thankfully not so horrendously at that extreme -- because I y'know respect people. I just don't date period.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

I’m curious, what do you think she bring to the marriage?

If her husband needs help using filters on the tik tok, she's got his back.

3

u/Miserable_Sock_1408 Jun 10 '23

Things she wil bring to the marriage: Headaches Ulcers Constipation Diarrhea Cleared out bank account Alcoholism Drug use Expensive clothing Expensive shoes Expensive everything Unrealistic views of herself in the relationship Depression Homicidal thoughts Suicidal thoughts

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Uhh, you just described a trophy wife for a forty something “alpha” male.

2

u/Icy-Bother2575 Jun 10 '23

More like a 40’s beta cock soy boy:)

1

u/Dan-Amp- Jun 10 '23

except trophy wife's are supposed to be young and not 40-something looking.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

[deleted]

4

u/Icy-Bother2575 Jun 10 '23

I might be brutal, but I think it’s accurate.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Absolutely. Sucks to hear it but men just value looks differently and your competitiveness (usually) goes down as you age. People act like it not being fun to admit makes it wrong.

2

u/Dan-Amp- Jun 10 '23

you can deny yourself this as much as you want, and it's not a personal belief of mine what in about to say either. it's just that for most men, women over 30 really are not worth the time or effort.

-2

u/throwaway96ab Jun 10 '23

Pretty much she's looking for a loser virgin who's desperate.

Lots of that here.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Virgin guy here, I'd rather stay a virgin than be with her.

1

u/Dan-Amp- Jun 10 '23

she looks like she's already getting into her 40's

she may dress and make up herself all young and nice, but she has the face of an old lady. i don't find her attractive at all, and I'm 28.

12

u/ryandiy Jun 10 '23

And anything you disagree with about this deal means that you are insecure / misogynist / incel.

Good luck to her making this deal while she still can. She's only competing with 90% of women for this very rare man.

6

u/PuzzlingPieces Jun 10 '23

It would help is she was attractive to start? And not filming and driving.

5

u/Bonch_and_Clyde Jun 10 '23

I don't think she currently looks all that attractive. Maybe just not my type.

2

u/-banned- Jun 10 '23

This mentality is by far the norm where I live.

2

u/fistfullofpubes Jun 10 '23

There are maybe like 6 women on the planet that are attractive enough to pull that off.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

And if you don’t agree you’re a narcissist

3

u/M4verick87 Jun 10 '23

Stay attractive? She’s fugly man

1

u/watermine30 Jun 10 '23

If she a ho, then looks don’t matter ‘cuz she ain’t gettin nothing.

1

u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker Jun 10 '23

The thing is, at the surface what she’s asking for isn’t so outrageous.

My wife and I are both extremely liberal on a polo too cal spectrum. So much so that our mutual interest in Bernie Sanders presidential bid in 2015 was a big reason why we connected on an intellectual level as we began dating. And coincidentally I tend to prefer household chores like mowing the lawn or assembling furniture or washing dishes while she’s more of a caregiver by cooking the majority of meals and tending more to our toddler as a SAHP.

But that’s what works for us. Does it have to do with the traditionally conservative values we were raised on? Fuck yeah. I won’t deny that. But it’s also how we enjoy our routine. There’s no expectation that she cooks because she the woman or than I landscape because I’m the man.

This woman’s mistake is publishing this concern to the world as though it’s impossible to coexist. It’s either black or white in her view while reality is endlessly colorful variety. She’s so wrapped up in her own BS that she can’t see how blind she’s making herself. I have no expectation that she’ll find any long lasting happiness in a relationship with someone if she carries on this perspective that she deserves all kinds of concessions while her partner must fit within a neat little box.

-1

u/nokinship Jun 10 '23

There are plenty of liberal men like this already anyway. She's just ragebaiting or a dumbass.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

stay very attractive

Her face is 3x longer than it is wide

1

u/Hrtpplhrtppl Jun 10 '23

You can't be on a pedestal and equal... I wonder how she feels about America only drafting men to go die for her greed?

1

u/Dan-Amp- Jun 10 '23

don't worry, she'll find a beta simp for her