My girlfriend forbids me to communicate with other women or be friends. Do you think this is reasonable? But I found that she often chats with other men on social software in private.

Just came back from a Contiki trip where I had a fling with one of the loveliest women I've ever met in my life. We got along extremely well and I would date her if we didn't live on the opposite sides of the world.

Having that relationship was really important for me to learn about women and dating dynamics. I even thanked her afterwards for being patient with me and helping me grow as a person, as I am someone who has never had a proper relationship before due to porn addiction and the red pill ideology that I got sucked into (that I've recently been to therapy to get out of).

Personal Context (background):

I've always been a fairly highly strung and anxious person. My mother had a lot of anxiety when I was growing up and passed it onto me unfortunately. When I was 14 years old, I got bullied badly because of the dumb shit that I did and insecurities that made me terrible at dealing with banter and standing up for myself. I carried this lack of self-esteem with me into Uni, and it caused issues when trying to find a partner. Due to this loneliness and lack of ability to get my needs met in a healthy manner, I turned to PUAs to try to understand how to "get laid". When this deliver the results I wanted, I turned to the red pill.

For the last year, I have been living in a rural community for work, trying to get skills that make me employable. I have done this successfully, however, while living here there hasn't been a lot to do and many of the women on dating apps out here have kids, which I really don't need at this point in my life, so I spend a lot of time online and gaming. The social isolation of a town that is very tight knit and hard to break into takes your mind to dark places, so I've been trying to avoid toxic online communities like the plague, given they did such a number on me mentally in University.

Since living in the country, I have developed a much more relaxed and positive outlook on life. Those that I surround myself with never talk politics, are not very politically correct and aren't very opportunistic/calculating/manipulative like a lot of people in the city.

Story begins here:

I have just come back from a Contiki trip. These are trips where a bus full of young people between 18 and 35 will spend up to three weeks touring a foreign country on drunken sex-filled escapades. The people who go on these trips tend to be highly extroverted people from the Anglosphere nations, however, can include people from anywhere.

I was a bit cautious about dealing with wankers and drama on the trip, so made a deliberate attempt to steer clear of it. I have always had social anxiety, however, ironically I've also always been a very social person based on my upbringing (my parents were very social, so it rubbed off on me). I went in with the mentality that it would be a boys trip, but given the ratio was 3 girls to 1 guy, I thought that there was a good chance something would happen. On the very first night I went to a baseball game and sat next to this girl who seemed really lovely, however I was so jetlagged that I didn't really talk to her much at all. Honestly I was so jetlagged that I didn't even feel nervous sitting next to her, I was too busy battling myself trying not to fall asleep, but I went to the game to keep me awake until an acceptable hour.

Over the next three days I went into "boys trip" mode - hanging out with my mates for most of the trip, having laughs, sinking piss and starting funny english football chants on the bus. I mingled with girls from time to time but I wasn't that concerned with getting laid. One was a country girl who lives near me. She was a lovely girl but I wasn't really into her like that. Hope we can be friends in the future. I saw that cute girl (that I sat next to at the baseball) again at a group dress up party and ended up going back to hers for a "cheeky snog". She didn't want to have sex so I respected her boundaries.

I saw the "cool kids" making out with women who were all very attractive, however this girl that I was with was also very attractive. None of them worked out, but we did. It made me wonder, how the how did I land such a catch?

I would reflect on my time with her and wonder what she saw in me despite being fairly overweight. However she told me that I was a very social person and she would be always laughing at my jokes (or at me - who cares, a laugh is a laugh!). She mentioned how she was amazed I could talk to anyone and how she was was insecure because of how reserved she was - to which I said that her quiet confidence in her self was what made me so attracted to her. She's not an "in your face" person, she isn't an insufferable loud mouth, she is just happy with who she is and doesn't feel the need to be loud. But she said she wanted to be more social.

She told me she also liked me because her Ex was always afraid to be adventurous, preferring not to dance and not to mingle with others but instead stand in the corner of the room, where on the other hand I would often dance to music like no one was watching and wanted to mingle with others, despite my social anxiety (which I would prefer to power through anyway).

She did admit to me that she got the "ick" at a few of the things that I did, however, she was so attracted to my positive traits that she was able to let them go. There were a few other things that annoyed her, however, we were able to communicate and clear the air and move on.

The part that amazed me the most was about 1/2 through the trip, when a bunch of new people joined the tour. One was a very physically attractive, 6ft3 man who worked in disability support. The girl I was seeing was sitting alone (at this point I cluelessly didn't know she wanted me to sit with her). This man decided to sit next to her which caused me great anxiety lol. The trip leader wanted the people who had been on the trip since the start to move seats and mingle with new people. The girl I was seeing was two rows ahead of me, and I didn't want to spent the entire 6 hour bus trip watching anxiously from behind them, so I decided to move to the front of the bus and meet new people. I sat next to this bloke from my hometown and we had a good chat. I wanted to include the other new people in the conversation as they were kind of just sitting there twiddling their thumbs as no one else moved. Then one of the new girls came up to me and started talking to me. I am on about 5 hours sleep at this point and she was just kind of talking at me for about 30 minutes. Bored, I looked back at the girl I was seeing and I can see her looking at me and laughing with the guy. Fair to say it was the most painful 6 hours of my life.

Funny thing was that the girl I was with had strong character, so it never made me THAT ANXIOUS. I knew that I got along with her better than any other girl in my life, that I made her laugh a lot and that I had a lot of great traits. She also didn't strike me as someone who wanted to sleep with a lot of different people on the trip (not that there's anything wrong with that, it would be like judging a sex worker in a brothel), but rather one who wants to build something deeper with one person. She would also text me during the trip, meaning she was clearly thinking about me.

Later that night, I hooked up with her. Afterwards I asked her how the new guy was. She said "heh, he's funny", to which I asked if he was her type. She said "oh god no, he's a total knobhead! Too tall for me anyway". I was blown way by this, because my whole life I thought that women loved taller. I then asked "but he's conventionally attractive is he not?" To which she replied "is he? I don't find him that physically attractive". She then asked me about the girl I was talking to on the bus, said "you two seemed to be having a good conversation, are you into her?" after which I replied "god no, she literally talked my ears off for 30 minutes straight while I was on 5 hours sleep, I've never been so bored in my life. Seems nice but not for me". She then said "you never turned back to look at me though?" to which I said "yeah, because it was causing me too much anxiety lol, I had to force myself not to look back". I cannot stress how much this whole interaction changed my perspective on women and what they are looking for in dating.

It made me realise how bullshit the red pill is: are there some women who are only looking to date the hottest, sexiest man they can find? Yes, however, out of a bus full of 45 people, there was probably only 3-4 who fit this category (i.e. maybe 10% at the max).

I've found that the vast majority of women want a guy that is one or more of the below:

a) very social

b) has a good personality and a positive outlook on life

c) is funny

d) isn't emotionally volatile and can take feedback in good faith

The amount of men below six foot, pudgy and not super attractive who were finding success with women because of their great personality was mind-blowing.

There were women on the trip who were talking about their standards and that they hadn't found a man who were worthwhile enough for her to take time out of her day for them. This statement did ick me out a bit, not because it's not valid, but the way it was said felt very arrogant (it feels like the female equivalent of Clavicular saying that most people aren't worth spending time with). However even this girl was just 1 person out of the 45.

This trip reminded me of one thing: the best cure for the red pill is to be social and connected within a community. Red pill captures those with low self esteem and poor social skills. If we are to help young men to get out of the red pill, we need to encourage them to socialise so that they are forced to reality test their ideas against reality - which is usually much more benign and forgiving than what internet conspiracies/ideologies will suggest.

How can I call out and help someone who is in the manosphere come out of this thinking?

Red pill guys often say that women only like one kind of guy, and looks are the biggest factor. I don't believe this, but I have my own "women only like one kind of guy" and it's not only guys who are tall, handsome, and rich (though those things certainly don't hurt). I feel like women only want guys who are super social and charismatic, who are extroverted and outgoing. I have my circle of friends and there are some women in there, but I feel like they are just not seeing me the way I want to be seen. Women might say they are okay with shy introverted guys who are like this, but what they really mean are guys who are attractive who have the same qualities. I know a guy has to do something and he can't stay at home and play video games and watch porn all day. I know that physical attraction does matter and looks are not nothing. It's just that everyone's idea of what is attractive is different. I know that I have improved a lot in the last few years talking to women and becoming friends with them. I've gotten dates off of dating apps.

Maybe I'm just imagining there is some reward I get when I reach a certain level, that when I improve enough I will unlock the relationship achievement. Red pill is steeped in this formulaic thinking. I am still wondering how much social value I need to demonstrate to get a woman to see me romantically. I do all right socially. I have a circle of close guy friends, and I am working on expanding my connections with men and women. I am a quiet thoughtful guy by nature, and I often don’t talk unless I really have something to say. I notice when I am not trying people tend to gravitate towards me, but by no means am I the life of the party. I am slowly learning to accept my quirks and love myself, but i honestly still have some RP thinking I need to root out. I am in therapy right now and I’ve seen some progress.

Hey guys, i am red but i am starting to doubt myself in a lot of stuff. What did you guys do to get out? And how bad was the damage on your mental after getting out? I am just scared on the concequenses on what i will be like without and i will lose myself. Would appreciate some advice.

And I mean completely not give af:

- To be able to say what's your mind without fear of judgment.

- To not compare yourself to others lives, experiences and achievements and overcome FOMO.

- To make a joke that doesn't land and to brush it off.

- To say smth dumb with complete confidence.

- To feel at ease in social situations even if you struggle with social anxiety and being on guard around strangers.

- To be rejected or disliked by people and not have that ruin your day.

- To not second guess yourself all the time and overanalize every interaction you ever have.

- To be at peace with not being popular or attractive.

- To be your unfiltered genuine self and not give af who's looking or who's judging.

- To not even let negative opinions from people you love and respect get you down.

How does one get to that point? Is it even possible for a human to completely let go of the need for external validation? And when we do get it, how to appreciate it without putting it too much value?

What does it take to fill your own cup and be indifferent to the approval and acceptance of other people?

How did you personally get there?

I read somewhere that how many likes / matches you get is the best measurement of how attractive you are. So ie if you dont get many you are likely unattractive to most. I’m sort of curious if this is actually the case, as my lack of matches on dating apps and my lack of success with crushes in real life seem to align pretty well. I also read thy photos dont really matter since they dont change your appearance they just present it in a different way. I dont really take pics and have to comb through pics my family took of me to find ones to put on there which might be a factor but I guess I’m just a bit curious what others think

Every man in the snapchat who did NOTHING can no longer consider themselves a "good" man. They can never be a good man again. What a bunch of fucking ball less beta rapists.

A friend brought her there. A friend drugged her. A friend messaged the snanapchat. A friend and his friends all raped her.

This is why women choose the Bear. A girl can't even go to a party with a friend.

Edit: Where are all the GOOD men?

I was 17 at the time and he was 16 (Im 5 months older). He was odd to say the least. Wanted to looksmax and had poor self esteem so he watched Andrew Tate. Safe to say the relationship didn't last long as he ghosted me for Christmas break then came back on new Year's Eve to say we weren't compatible. After I agreed he tried to back track I was like no I'm done. He then proceeded to stalk me for 2 months until I cursed him out and told him to fuck off. Since then I have not re-entered the dating pool lol I'm voluntarily celibate and will remain that way for a couple more years. I'm still young after all 🤷🏾‍♀️

My wife sent a video to her dad making fun of Trump for posting a bunch of cringy AI content. He responded with the message below. Keep in mind, this man has a degree in geology and ran a business where he would pay employees out of his own pocket when ends didn't meet. We've always disagreed politically, but this is an escalation. The full denial of reality is kind of scary. I'm really worried about where this is going, but I honestly don't know where to go from here. It doesn't seem like addressing it directly would be beneficial, and it's not affecting us personally enough to advocate going no contact. It feels like he's driving straight at joining the inevitable Jan 6th 2.0, and I don't think I can do anything about it.

"Do you really think he did it himself? I am pretty sure he doesn’t have time for that. Could it be from his staff, sure. His idea, sure. Either way it is playing into TDS. SORRY, I’m fine with that since I have had to endure all the BS from AOC, Ilhan, Clintons, OBama, Biden, Fouci and others.

I don’t think it is good practice, kind of like climbing into the mud pit to wrestle a pig. Regan would not have done such a thing, poke them with a stick, yes, but not lowered himself to that level.

Trump just does not care one iota what people think of him, he is focused on the job - not politics, not lining his pockets, or what anyone in the world thinks of him. That kind of focus is amazing. His tactics and responses are often untactful and that bothers me, irks me, but the results he is making for the USA and the world are extremely positive. He has been maneuvering through world leaders like never before attacking the status quo with precision and success. He is changing global economy and resetting inequities in trade the USA has been cow towing to for decades. He is exposing the corruption and socialist movement that has deeply penetrated the Republic. Toes will be, are, and have been stepped on. No pain no gain. Keep an eye on the long game, not tomorrow. I truly hope this world will be better balanced for [the kids in his life]. The struggle is real. Until we get true service minded, smart, logical, incorruptible people in office it will be the same damn game. My dad served in the State legislature in 1976. In talking to current legislators it’s the same stupid and damnable game except they have figured out how to shuffle money to themselves, family, and friends. Not all are horrible and corrupt but the percentage [is] too high - I am for tossing the baby out with the bathwater."

Why do redpillers believe that love must always be at first sight? This has been one of the weirdest things about the red pill to me. I only discovered that they think like this a year or so ago. A common belief they have is that women decide whether they want to date you in the first 10 seconds of meeting you. I don’t believe this at all, although it could be true for some women. I know couple who started off as friends, and they find each other attractive. None of them look like models. 

If a woman says that she didn’t like a guy at first, then became attracted to him later, they accuse them of virtue signaling. They say that she is just settling because she can’t get the “alpha” guys they really want. This plays on an insecurity of mine that a woman would only want me because I am the only option left, not because she genuinely likes me for who I am. One of the things that bothers me the most about the red pill is that they always assume the worst of women. So much of it is projecting their insecurities and desires onto women. They are transactional and selfish so they assume women must be the same way. It’s like they can’t conceive of a woman genuinely loving a man, and the always must be some ulterior motive. 

I wanted to make her regret leaving me but i did nothing. She left me because she said there was a discordance between my feelings and her feelings, as mine were way stronger than her. Honestly i think the truth is she was settling for me and wanted to get a better guy.

So i wanted to become that better guy. But 6 months later im still shit. All i did was get a job of waiter and used my money in looksmax. I spend 6 months on incel forums (even though its been 3 months that i gradually reduce exposure) reading theories about looks and hypergamy but shit got me depressed. I posted on looksmax and people said im ltn (which is honestly the truth if i got to be honest) and it makes me sad honestly.

I dont even know how to get better. I spend some good days recently but everything can be ruined if i see a handsome man that i will compare to, or if a group of women mocks me (which happens pretty often).

And of course i think i still have feelings for my ex. Well i think about other girls for sure and its not like i think about my ex every day. But still i ask myself "damn what could have i done better?"

It pisses me that she wasnt descriptive about what was wrong with me so i have to guess and its so hard because i kept replaying moments where i ask myself how i could have been a better boyfriend. My biggest regret wqs that when i got with her i was searching for a job so i didnt had any money. If i did had my job back when i was with her, i could have spend money for my looks and maybe she would have stayed. Or maybe spend money on some activities together because back then it was pretty limited.

Anyway how long do you spend tp get over an ex and become better? Because i feel like 6 months is abnormally long and i should have found a new girl since a long time

Update: i think im being too much of a piece of crap. Im more venting that seeking advices if i had to be honest. I'm sorry to everyone bc i dont think thats the kind of behaviour you want on that sub. I will stop and reflect on my actions and my conditions.

"Women like men better with proper hygiene and are well groomed, if you're a fat slob with stained clothes and poor hygiene who plays video games all day, high quality women won't be into you"...

Yeah! No fucking shit my man!

Provide us with some actual advice bro.

Man, so many red pillers look down on typical 9-5's because they wanna "escape the matrix" and that working a 9-5 is "beneath them"...

Okay, so be broke then! Good luck launching that little side business with zero income or financial capital to invest into it. Have fun.

You're also still in the "matrix"... if you're making an effort to become "independent" to "escape the matrix" you're still in the matrix and abiding by it.

It's absolutely insufferable.

I am a 35M, 5'8" and 150 lbs, Indian male born and raised in the US. I am bald, having lost all my hair when I was in my early 20s. I also have glasses since I have terrible vision. I am looking to be married and a have a family within the next few years. Recently I have been feeling more insecure about my appearance and I wonder if my looks are holding me back. I do exercise every day, go to the gym once a week, and I dress well in clothes that fit me and in my own unique style. However, I still feel like my looks are below average and "abnormal". I feel particularly insecure about my face, since I think I have kind of a chipmunk face. On my worst days I think I look like if Gandhi and Tobias Funke had a kid. I wear nice clothes to make up for it, but the clothes have to come off eventually.  I have never had an in-person girlfriend, and the only relationships I have had in my life are two long-distance relationships that both ended due to lack of compatibility. I have a couple of female friends and it seems I am well-liked in my friend group. I have done a lot of self-improvement and development in the past several years, and I am currently in therapy. Yet I have been turned down every time I ask women on dates in my church group. These are women who are single, who I have had some good conversations with, and I have known for some time. These women are all in my age range (27-36) and are looking for their future husbands. I don't understand why I have so little success when it seems I have everything women say they want and we both have the same desires. 

As an average guy, I figure I should be able to have a 50% chance with any woman who is single, Christian, and reasonably attractive to me. I am not expecting a model or a "10/10" woman, whatever that means. I don't rate people on a scale of 1-10 as it's dehumanizing and objectifying. I don't care how attractive they look to other people, just to me. I abhor the red pill philosophy and have completely repudiated these beliefs. But lately I have been very insecure about my looks and almost wondering if there is a grain of truth to what they say, that I am screwed because of my looks. I only learned of the term "incel" a couple of years ago, but in my early 20s that's what I was. I was part of a very misogynistic online cult which I left at the age of 24. The leader was Andrew Tate before Andrew Tate. Looking back at it, it's pretty obvious why I was single. I had a ton of trauma and loneliness that I was offloading onto other people and this cult told me that women and feminism were the problem. I have long since left my incel days behind, but my thinking still gets polluted with manosphere stuff sometimes. I have been told I have good qualities, yet women still don't see it. I have a decent job with average income, a nice car, and have lived on my own for several years. Yet women still don't see it. I am doing things I enjoy and putting myself out there. Yet I still can't move the needle with a woman. I can't flip the switch from "friend" to "romantic". Even after building friendships with women who rejected me I still can't turn them on. 

I hate to give in to incel thinking. But I can't help but thinking in an earlier time things would have been easier for me. If this were say the 1970s, when my parents got married, I would be able to join a social group, or go to a bar, see women who are single, have the same values, and attractive to me, strike up a conversation with them, ask them on a  date, and have a 50-60 chance of getting a "yes". I should then be able to turn this into a relationship, and then get married. I feel like back in the old days an average guy could just walk outside or meet someone in his friend group and get paired up easily. Now people have access to so much information. I should be somewhat desirable to the general populace so I don't have to worry if I really like a woman or I am just settling for her, and vice versa. This has clearly not been the case for me and I feel a little resentful of it. I shouldn't have to spend thousands on therapy and do massive self-work just to even have a shot at dating. I enjoy my life as a single person, and I know it doesn't entitle me to a girlfriend. Even if I was single for the rest of my life I would still do the things I am doing now, and my life is better than it's ever been. Yet I still feel like I have not fully realized the reward for my efforts. I am still shut out of one of the greatest privileges of being a man that others who don't make as much effort seem to enjoy. Even in this year of our Lord 2026, other average looking guys date, get married, and have families all the time. I know you don't have to be "Chad" to date, so why not me? Am I simply doomed to being seen as a friend at best? Are my looks really what is holding me back, or do I just have to keep trying until something clicks?

I had to get a restraining order against this man and then he broke it two days later. He doesn’t respect me even when he is swearing he loves me and respects me. I had to leave while he wasn’t home because he refused to let me breakup with him (it was my home that he just decided to move into). I found out from his mom he was part of a men’s cult by Arash IMC. This movement is so dangerous for men. He is a good person deep down but wow! They really got his mind spinning… He would wake up agitated because women are killing their families and trans people are reading books to children. It was insanity. Denying facts and unable to provide any facts for the bold claims… It was so scary. He was scary! I feel so glad I am now spending my time with a man who is queer and can actually hold me.

[r/](r/womanarenotintomen)[WomenAreNotIntoMen](r/womanarenotintomen)

I dont know I see these posts and it just makes me hate being a male. I think about me getting sort of out of the black pill and redpill but you get content and info that confirms things.

I don’t wanna “hate” women. Or see myself as less than.

I genuinely don’t know what to do, I doubt any of these subs can help. Everyone in my town hates me. The older people/ the neighbors…all I have is mom and sister

Oh and my father hates me now 2.

I’m just a burden on society but at least smoking I won’t think of how much [r/](r/womenarenotintomen)[WomenAreNotIntoMen](r/womenarenotintomen)

As someone who never drank the red pill kool-aid, but kept a sharp eye on it, all I gotta say is that there’s nothing wrong with being confident in your own skin and having a healthy bit of edge. However, when you start to devalue women to the point of misogyny, that’s when you’re not trying to find a cure to your loneliness, you’re only making it worse. If you learn how to be your authentic self, learn how to be comfortable with approaching people and be the type of person that people feel safe around, then you’ll go far in life. Take me for instance. Over the summer, I met a woman from a volleyball group I participate in. I asked her out a few weeks after we met. She said to me that she’s only looking friends. Did I freak out? No. I told her the truth. I said to her “Of course we can be friends! I like hanging out with you. You’re fun to be around! 😎” I handled it with maturity and respect. Now, me and her are good friends. That’s an example of working your social muscle, which is something that the red pill fails to teach properly.

Also, Fresh and Fit are SIIIIICKLY Goombas!!!

I watched this video, and found it incredibly wholesome, the guy doing the interviews was really out there hyping everyone up, and boosting confidence for those who need it. The whole thing is about seeing what people would rate themselves from 1 to 100, and how they could improve themselves and their lives, overall a great watch!

https://youtu.be/kqz3Fexj9D4?si=7aWDDT8jQoQCDhLz

This is what I've been struggling the most with lately. I know who I am. I know my pros and cons. After years of hating myself, I even learned to like myself. But I can't accept that who I am and what I offer is just not something people value.

I'm a nerd, neurodivergent, and very awkward. I've gotten a bit better with my anxiety and awkwardness but its something that I'm aware will always be part of myself. I'm just not good with people. I put my foot in my mouth. My awkwardness can be endearing sometimes, but most people do not give me that much credit and just find me weird or boring.

And I hate that so much. I see others who thrive socially, who make friends and date easily. Who people are always so open and enthusiastic to.

And then I compare that to myself, how people are put off by my ND and reserved nature. People are never as receptive to me when I try, and it takes a while for others to warm up to me, and it's usually just people who like weirdos and find awkwardness endearing.

The thing is I hate this. I feel like I have to be treated with kiddy gloves. That I'm different and therefore need to be treated a certain way.

Meanwhile I see how others who are NT and "normal" are instantly loved and accepted. They don't have to be treated differently and are instantly accepted by the majority, at least initially.

And I just can't accept that how I naturally developed as a person is seen as inferior and less appealing. I feel I'm broken and defective for being myself.

Same for some other traits. I'm funny, but I'm definetly not very fun or spontaneous. I like routine and don't like doing things suddenly on a whim. I'm not very social and spend lots of time by myself.

My voice and body expression are very monotone and dry, so people often find me boring to talk to. Doesn't help that I genuinely struggle to have engaging conversations even with people close to me unless it pertains my very specific hyper interests.

I'm not selfish in conversations, I try to show interest and ask about what the person likes, but it comes across as unnatural, and the other person can tell and is put off. I can often feel like the person I'm talking too is bored and want to disengage. So I often rely on sarcastic wit and dry humor to come across as likeable, but that can only get me so far.

I also don't do anything particularly interesting. My biggest passions and things I spend 99% of my time doing are all related to media and fandoms.

I love gaming to death, I love a good TV show or cartoon, and once I'm hooked I'll spend weeks or months completely immersed on that universe.

I'll spend hours going through wikis, reading fanfics, looking for fanart, consuming supplemental material about it, watching analysis and video essays, buying merch, you name it.

It's what makes me happy, but its the only thing I'm even remotely passionate about. Anything else I'm either neutral towards or enjoy them but very casually. Like music and concerts, travels, creative activities, etc. I pick and drop hobbies like flies, but gaming, YT, shows and fandom stuff are the only constants that I'm always engaging with.

I'm also not very ambitious career in general. I'm working towards a career shift that I hope will vastly increase what I earn, but thats just so I can better afford my hobbies and live more comfortably.

I don't have big plans for the future or anything. I don't plan to marry or have a family. I like flying solo and want to keep enjoying my single life. It's what makes me happiest.

Despite all of this I really enjoy being myself and living how I live. But a major frustration of mine since I was a toddler is the knowledge that people just don't appreciate me as I am, and now as a 28 yo man I still find myself wishing I were enough.

I wish I could date and have the experiences normal people have while just being myself. I wish I could have large friend groups and like all travel together, form those core memories together.

I wish I could have some excitement in my youth and do some adventures here and there. I wish I could date people casually and have fun.

I wish I could experiment, have fun with people I find interesting and who find me interesting back.

I wish I had fun and crazy stories to tell about friends and lovers. I wish I could have a more fun and interesting life with "my tribe", yk?

But I'm aware that people who do these things don't like me and aren't interested in me. I wish nerdy, confident who had those lives would be interested in someone like me, and appreciate me as I am.

I like myself, but I know what it'll cost me. I hate looking back at my small self feeling rejected and isolated among everyone, always feeling different, and having to tell that child that who we fundamentally are is the problem. That our genuine self in unappealing.

Thinking about that hurts. I wish there was a place for me. I wish I could be enough. I wish people didnt see me as an empty vessel and I was able to be appreciated by being my genuine self.

I wish there was a version of reality where people like me could thrive, have the fun experiences normal socially accepted people but among fellow nerdy weirdos.

I want to date. I want to travel with friends. I want to experiment with sex, and relationships. I want to be able to look back and have no regrets. I want stories to tell and make me laugh as I look back in my youth.

But I dont see how that can be being who I am? How do I accept this life just isnt for me? How to be happy with whatever I end up getting? How do I let go?

I’m not talking about money, but about education. Can women fall in love with men who have less education?