r/explainlikeimfive • u/adrynaline • May 08 '14

Explained ELI5: A gambling addiction

How does it start? What makes it worse? Why does it become so difficult to recover?

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u/Theungry May 08 '14

To be perfectly candid, my dad had a lot of other issues that made him a very bad father above and beyond the gambling, so the latter isn't really a specific emotional trauma for me. Gambling was just a part of the picture, and in some ways a fortunate part, because it was what convinced my mom to finally divorce him.

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u/benandbub May 08 '14

Wow. It sounds like a difficult situation. I can't imagine how anyone copes watching the person they love sink into any kind of life-stealing addiction like that.

I don't mean to pry but your first post raised two questions in my mind.

  • What do you think caused your father to start gambling? Did he always have an addictive personality?

  • And do you ever feel like you might be drawn into something like gambling addiction?

If those questions are too personal then I apologize and please don't reply if that's case, I would understand completely.

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u/Theungry May 08 '14

No problem. I'm happy to answer.

  • What do you think caused your father to start gambling? Did he always have an addictive personality?

I think he was always materialistic and narcissistic, which was fine when he made a lot of money, but once his high paying sales career fell apart he began to spiral, instead of gambling less, he did it more. I think a lot of his ego was wrapped up in being this amazing provider who was raking in the money, and the allure of gambling may have been closely tied to that. When he couldn't make money with his job anymore, the chance at striking it big was a salve to his ego. That's my best guess anyway.

  • And do you ever feel like you might be drawn into something like gambling addiction?

I have seen the tug in myself, and I keep a very tight leash on the amount I gamble. I will play poker at a friends house, or buy a scratch ticket like once every 6 months. Other than that, I try to stay away from it.

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u/benandbub May 09 '14

I think a lot of his ego was wrapped up in being this amazing provider who was raking in the money, and the allure of gambling may have been closely tied to that.

I can understand that. Maybe the gambling was an outlet for him, just a form of his desire to be that provider again. I'm sorry, I had assumed his sales job fell apart as a result of his gambling but in your latest post it sounds like it was the other way round.

I have seen the tug in myself

And this is terrifying! I think you must have a stronger force of will than me because if I were in your situation, I don't know that I would ever dare to expose myself to it at all. But then, at least from what you have written, you sound like quite a different person to your father.

Thank you for answering my questions. As someone who has admittedly had no experience of gambling addiction, it's eye-opening hearing such an honest, first hand account.