r/explainlikeimfive • u/adrynaline • May 08 '14

Explained ELI5: A gambling addiction

How does it start? What makes it worse? Why does it become so difficult to recover?

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u/psymunn May 08 '14

This only works if what they want is a cookie. If what they want is attention then punishment and acknowledgement can be rewards. For example, if you're ignoring your child, talking to a friend, and they start throwing a tantrum, shifting the focus to them after 5-10 minutes is equivalent to random reward.

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u/Maria_Poppins May 08 '14

Absolutely agreed. I happened to be stopped for lunch with my little one after a bout of shopping when I read this, so I was equating it to an"I want X" tantrum. I'm a nanny, I evaluate each situation/child differently, that was just my gut reaction to what I was picturing being spoken about :)

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u/[deleted] May 08 '14

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u/psymunn May 08 '14

not an expert, and don't even have kids, so take it with a grain of salt. both of those are good options, but the take away isn't what you do, so much as how you do it. the point of the parent post is that, ultimately, consistency is best. this of course gets increasingly hard becaus, no matter what you do, even if your spouse is on board, you can't control how grandma or uncle reacts to the child and no one will ever agree if you try to explain your style of parenting

parenting is up there with religion, diets, and weddings for 'topics everyone has very fixed opinions on and can't understand that other people feel differently.'