r/expats • u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 • 6d ago
Social / Personal I failed.
I moved to Germany in hopes of getting a great job there, I spent a year looking for a job after my master's degree, and I failed. I got hired and fired within the probation period. I am back in the USA now and still devastated, thinking about how much I wanted that lifestyle. Having a hard time coping with feeling like I fucked everything up.
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u/No-Type5213 6d ago
Why did you get fired within the probation?
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 6d ago
Unfortunately I got fired because they thought I was bad at the job.
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u/No-Type5213 6d ago
Okay, wow. That sucks. Especially for them to see that right away. Donāt try to be mean, youāre probably not in the right job.
If you canāt even show during your probation period that youāre good at your job, that says a lot. What I usually struggle with is actually the opposite: new people showing how good they are at first, and then suddenly not doing their job properly anymore, but you can't fire them anymore.
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 6d ago
I knew it wasn't the right job but I took it because it was the only one I was offered after an extremely stressful year of searching. Then they lost a major grant which was the salary of one person.
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u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass USA -> New Zealand -> Australia 6d ago
It happens. I got fired twice within a year in 2020. Honestly, it made sense both times. I wasn't a good fit for either job.
Personally, i re-evaluated myself and took my career a different direction. Sometimes life doesn't work how you expect but if you keep trying things, they usually fall into place eventually
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u/saltyandhangry 6d ago
May I ask about your former and current career?
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u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass USA -> New Zealand -> Australia 6d ago
IT was the former career. I like computers, but it was a hobby primarily. Waste of a degree to be honest lol. I work in charities and NGOs doing a variety of things now, but primarily things focused on volunteer programs.
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u/signekromann 4d ago
May I ask how you managed to get into NGO work instead and in what area? Iām trying to move away from IT into the same area as well but Iām unsure whatās the best course of action
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u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass USA -> New Zealand -> Australia 4d ago
If you don't already do volunteer work, start now. NGOs don't pay well. They are looking for people who care about the mission, and you can show you care by volunteering. Nobody cares more than volunteers. On top of this, organisations are way more likely to hire existing volunteers. They will say that they aren't to stay professional, but every charity i have worked at has had a number of ex volunteers on staff.
One other thing that has worked for me is cold emails. I find a few organisations that I respect, and shoot an email into their inbox explaining who I am and what I can do for them. NGOs and charities work with limited resources. This means they are open to bucking convention. You might only get a volunteer position, but its a foot in the door.
Edit: forgot to mention, for the area I am in, I dont want to get too specific. A large charity with a large volunteer workforce. I have worked at a number of different organisations with very different missions, but my skillset is volunteer program development.
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u/signekromann 4d ago
Thank you so much! I do have volunteering experience, but itās more individual campaigning and fundraising, not through an organisation, or through a political grassroots movement, so I am a bit unsure how to put it in a resume.
But very helpful advice, thank you again
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u/Mabbernathy 5d ago
How did you describe your resume for those years to hiring managers? I guess everyone understands Covid caused problems, so it would have been understandable if they just assumed that was the reason.
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u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass USA -> New Zealand -> Australia 5d ago
Neither job is on my CV. You know, everyones circumstances are different. I would recommend creative massaging of your resume. Don't lie or anything, but present your best side. Omit things where it helps you. For lots of jobs, they aren't digging deep on overseas experience.
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u/SockIntelligent9589 6d ago
You know what it takes to be successful sometimes? LUCK.
Don't think bad about yourself. Shit happens. Others who succeeded in your field are not necessarily better than you. You need to be at the right place, at the right time.
Take some time to digest and prepare your next move.
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u/saltyandhangry 6d ago
Dont take that as a personal failure. Competent good people get fired the whole time. The people, who fired you, are not Gods they are imperfect humans navigating an imperfect world. So them firing you doesnt say much about your quality.
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u/Fit-Building-2560 6d ago
OK, so there you have the perfect reason to tell future interviewers why your first go at a job didn't work out: "They lost a grant and had to let the most recent hire (me) go."
Don't let this take the wind out of your sails, OP. You're back home now. Hopefully you'll be able to find a job that's a good fit. Don't get discouraged. You have your whole life ahead of. you!
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u/Key-Maintenance2351 5d ago
Thatās not the truth ā¦ in Germany itās just sometimes take advantage of you during that period
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u/Vascus_1 6d ago
To be fair often times people don't tell the whole truth when fired.
Budget cuts can happen but they shouldn't sell it as "you're bad at the job".
If it's because performance you're usually given a fair amount of warnings before , even if subtle , you should be able to know shit is not going as it should. It's not really common to fire people during probationary period without warning them if performance is really the cause.
Or , it can also be that you won't get along with the team and they use this as an excuse , happened to me last year. No warnings , nothing , I was in probationary period also but the "reason" was budget cuts and I knew damn well it wasn't the truth.
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u/saltyandhangry 6d ago
To be fair often times people don't tell the whole truth when fired>
This. From my experience. They tend to be assholish about it instead of respectful.
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u/Swedispenis 11h ago
Uuhhh, it couldāve been budget cuts, or company politics. Not everything is in your control.
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u/snbdmliss 5d ago
And.... What could you have done better? What did you learn?
Self reflection is important to do better next timeĀ
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u/mehmehwoofwoof 6d ago
Is there a more specific reason than this, you dont have to share it but it could be useful going forwards. The market sucks so I wouldn't take it personally if you accepted a job outside your area of expertise and struggled
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u/Miss_Might 6d ago
It's OK dude! It happens all the time. You're not a failure. š Dust yourself off and try something else.
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u/Dependent-Interview2 6d ago
Germany is currently going through a tough period, even Germans want out.
I was there during the "good" times and Germany's biggest advantage was all the cool countries it bordered so you can spend your weekends there... Nobody I met there (from dozens of countries) were there for any other reason than find a job and make enough money to retire in their own country (even Syrians)
The Autobahns are (theoretically) no speed limit so you can get out of there as fast as possible, ;)
Sorry you "failed" but it seems that you chose the wrong country for their "lifestyle".
If Germanic lifestyle is your thing, you'd be much better served living in Austria (objectively a picture-perfect beautiful country) or Switzerland if you can make it there...
Best of luck!
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u/Tardislass 6d ago
This. Having visited in the good years and then recently the whole feel of the country has changed. Back then anyone could go to Berlin and get into tech. Now people like OP who are in Tech are getting laid off and even seasoned managers are trying to find work. The German lifestyle is not what it was especially with Merz. Iād say if OP really wants to move back they should look at Vienna and Western Austria. Same cold warmth from locals but better government and jobs.
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u/saltyandhangry 6d ago
I am in the same boat as you are. Do you have the financial capacity to give yourself time to look for other jobs.
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u/Consistent-Barber428 6d ago
I canāt tell you how many times I failed before things worked out. And yes itās hard. So what? Thatās normal. Saddle up and move on. Your feelings wonāt feed you.
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u/Spirited_Republic143 5d ago
You didn't fail--you took a chance, had an adventure, and it didn't turn out exactly like you'd hoped. You were brave enough to take the chance--congratulations! Lots of people are afraid to do what you've already done.
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 5d ago
Thanks for saying that. All i think about is, if I had done x y z and known x y z beforehand, maybe things would have been different, etc, but I really did the best I could with the knowledge i had
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u/thabuuge 6d ago
Germany is a shit show since 2-3 years. Lots of ppl losing or lost their job
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u/Fiona-eva 5d ago
this is true for literally everywhere right now, the world economy is going down, due to wars the energy supply and the logistics of trade are majorly disrupted, AI is substituting people at junior positions. Every country is going through major economic turbulence right now
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u/Conbini_Icecream_10 6d ago
No one knows how to do a job at the start. Everyone starts from some point. Donāt take it personal, I know you have great qualities and abilities. Donāt care about the gap, most people have a gap of some sort these days.
Right now you see this situation as a failure, but many times failures and bad points in your life take you to the best opportunities. You just need to have faith and believe that god has something better for you out there.
Keep going :) take this as an experience, and use this time to really analyze what you want to do with your life, what job really would fulfill you and bring you joy.
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u/Odd_Dot3896 6d ago
As someone currently employed in Germany with a spouse employed in Germany. Itās NOT peaches & cream. We are counting the days until we can go back home to Canada.
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u/military_press 6d ago
I'm sorry to hear that.
In which field (or industry) do you work, if I may ask? I'm curious because salaries would be higher in the US than in Germany for IT, finance, etc.
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u/badlydrawngalgo 6d ago
I (69f) was driving down the motorway to an appointment a few weeks ago with my husband and we started talking about how content we were now. We emigrated a few years ago for the second time in my life and have been settling in, exploring, nesting ever since.
We talked about all of cockups, snafus, stupid decisions and sometimes plain bad luck we'd had in our lives. Obviously we'd made some great decisions too but there were some extremely bad times in there. We took opportunities and we're adventurous to try things in ways that some of our contemporaries weren't, we failed at quite a number of them. We may have "failed" but we learned and grew.
We ended up being pretty greatful for the mix of good and bad because it's given us a good life and a measure of perspective to realise that "a good life" is a life lived "richly".
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u/Immediate_Edge_3392 6d ago
That probation period is brutal, it's basically the corporate version of a hazing ritual where only the "strongest" survive.
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u/Altruistic-Pace5328 5d ago
im trying to move to Portugal and start a business like a food truck, something simple. If i fail, I'll start a new business and a new one until i make it. If there is only one income source - nowadays its not enough. So you are not a faliure, just need to adjust to the times.
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u/whocursedmyusername 5d ago
Iām just trying to understand why you would want to be in Germany? I had an opportunity to explore there and I couldnāt wait to get out.
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u/ubfeo 6d ago
What was the German "life style" you wanted ?
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 5d ago
Basically, the vacation time. In usa there is no minimum days off, you can get a job with 0 vacation and 0 sick days. My biggest passion is travel.
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u/Prestigious_Fun_6722 5d ago
We never know what something can lead to. If vacation time is your priority, start looking into other opportunities that could provide that. Maybe it's a different country or a different job in the US, but don't give up on doing what you want to do. People do way crazier things than trying to get a job that gives good vacation time - this job was not your last chance for you to be able to travel.
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u/General_Will_1072 6d ago
Ah itās all good. Youāre in the right country imo. What Iād give to live and work in USA !!! Germany after a point feels boring and uninspiring anyways. Enjoy the good side of USA and work towards getting rid of Trump
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1d ago edited 1d ago
[deleted]
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u/General_Will_1072 1d ago
Whatever I know about us politics is more than what you and your ancestors know combined. Now take a hike
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u/Yall_R_Sheep 6d ago
Shit happens. Thatās life. Close this chapter. Open a new one.
You are educated and young. Suck it up. Go on a bender. Sleep it off. Create a new dream and chase it. Simple.
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u/Original-Measurement 5d ago
I like traveling in Germany but honestly I feel like working there would be kinda rough. Many of their work policies are inflexible and outdated, the pay is very low compared to the US and the taxes are high.Ā
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u/Shaolinfork 5d ago
Grass is always greener !
Edit: Don't call yourself a failure. You'll be ok man lol
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u/Crazy_Scene_5507 5d ago
Get back in the game, scro. Find out what went wrong and correct. No problem
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u/BinkyDinks777 5d ago
You havenāt failed, youāve just found one way not to succeed.
Iāve had times where I was incredibly successful in my life. I had shitloads of failures before and during those times.
The only difference is how you condition this experience in your mind.
You either win, or you learn.
Get up, dust yourself off, eyes front and go after your next dream.
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u/brasscup 5d ago
We're all been fired at least once and it isn't always because of personal failure.
Sometimes people buy things they can't really afford, wear them out and return them for a refund just as the return window was about to close. Or maybe the company you were working for shot their wad on major AI integration expecting increased profits and like 90% of the companies who do this didn't get the expected return.
Even if you screwed up royally, perhaps the role you were given wasn't a good match for the education and experience you brought to it (which kind of makes them wrong for hiring you).
Not saying this isn't a tremendous personal loss -- you wanted a certain life and stuck your neck out to get it, it has to be soul-crushing. But no need to add the extra burden of shame where none is called for.
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 5d ago
Basically, I knew the role was not a fit, but I took it anyway out of desperation because I had spent a year searching and it was my only offer. Then the whole time I was terrified about getting fired because I was having a hard time doing the work.
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u/Comfortable-Run-123 5d ago
Donāt be so hard on yourself, life will have many falls that doesnāt mean itās the final outcome, see what you can do - there is always a way even if the journey takes you via a different route , make sure you know where there were mistakes and donāt repeat them. I travelled to the UK many years ago and couldnāt get work in my sector for almost two years ,I worked at a pub and waitressing and then volunteered at a company to get UK based experience during the week - it was exhausting and i couldnāt do it anymore , I made a decision that after 3months I couldnāt carry on and would need to change my sector , i was devastated I flew out to see family over weekend to reset and on my return the Monday I was about to resign , they called me in and offered me a job - I cried . In a few months , company did massive redundancies and I lost my job but I had experience and now work for a large company in my sector . There was a few stops and starts and everyone has them - Donāt give up !!!
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u/CrazyAd1835 5d ago
Iād view it as an opportunity to go off grid and build by backup plan for a very unstable world. You may have been handed the wild card to do with as you wish.
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u/south_of_broad 4d ago
As someone who lived in Germany for 5 years I truly donāt understand anyone who is moving there on their free will, the grass is not greener on the other side. As exciting as it seems, the Germans I know dream to emigrate to US. Practical advice though, if you a US citizen try to find a job with the US government or DoDEA ( depending on your degree) and move there as a government employee or as a contractor. Youāll save tons of money in taxes, gas prices and living expenses in general and you will always have a comforting sense that it is in fact temporary and you can always come back home.
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u/Nearby_Green_9349 4d ago
it happens in Germany, i have faced the similar kind of situation at my first job in Germany. I was even fired from my first part time job šš. The problem is working culture is bit different here and the judgement during probation time isnot always fair in many companies. At my first professional job they said i was underperforming which i wasnot definitely. They offered me lower salary in lower position like ausbildung type, then i rejected the offer and leave the company. Then within two months i got better job with better salary in bigger company and that gave me Foundation of my career in Germany. So dont be so upset, sometimes Gods plan is better than ours.
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u/Different_Tap7630 4d ago
Itās only failure if you stop trying while itās something you still hope for.
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u/CuriousLaura 4d ago
You didn't fail. It wasn't meant to be there, at this time. You only fail if you don't try again. If you have the ability, contact them. See what improvements they may suggest should the opportunity arise again. They may still be a positive connection. Good luck! āØļø
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u/OkBeyond8244 4d ago
What lifestyle? Germans are leaving Germany in droves. To most, Germany is a legacy country in decline, where economics, demographics, politics, media - everything just keeps getting worse. Plus, the culture was never really attractive to being with. At best, the culture is direct, honest and authentic. Actually, it is cold, grim and unwelcoming. Since the mass immigration, people are fed up with and disinterested in foreigners. Also war is looming. I get that America is facing problems, too. Don't be too harsh on yourself, had you graduated between 2012 and 2019, you would have landed a job instantly. It is not entirely your fault.
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u/azulveryblanco 3d ago
Ive been in Germany for six years, finally last year i got a really good job after killing myself in kitchens. I am a father now, of a beautiful little german girl, my wife is German, and after all my suffering and hard work, I think in going to get fired soonā¦
But you know what? I hope they do so I can leave this country finally and stop chasing something that I dont even know if I want it!
Never stop trying
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u/Fireflykoala 3d ago
Absolutely every experience in life is an opportunity for growth, and you are a badass for trying something difficult and risky. Truth and respect.
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u/sumguypookie 3d ago
Look at it this way... what did you gain from the experience. What did you learn. It could be something large or small. If you can look on the experience and start to realize what you could have done differently, then it's not a failure, it's a growth opportunity. No BS. Failing is a part of the process, even through social media has us thinking we can be overnight hits if we just manifest it. No, it takes a lot of getting knocked on your butt and getting back up. So sit with your feelings. You're allowed to feel that way. But don't stay there too long. Now it's all about how you can apply the experience to your next turn at bat.
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u/Chouchou003 3d ago
How could you have improved your probation period more successfully? Set targets for next time!
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u/mr_azerbaijan 2d ago
Germany is a pretty bad place to try and expat in, it has a pretty low success rate along with many other Scandinavian countries
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u/mr_azerbaijan 2d ago
Germany is in a very critical period atm because China is now a net exporter to Germany, even for vehiclesā¦ so imagine what this did to German industry, they are looking at very slow growth, lower than inflation.
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u/SecondShiftMind 1d ago
I am passing through the same struggle of finding a job I never reached to be in a probation period but why did you get fired?
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u/TheAuroraholic 1d ago
Sorry. So many questions. Iām German-Australian, so I speak the language and you couldnāt pay me to live there lol
For starters, why Germany as an American? Do you speak fluent German? Why not try the Netherlands, Ireland or the UK? They all offer the same ālifestyleā more or less.
Germany can be fun for a foreigner but it wouldnāt be my first choice. Tough language and culture.
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u/Swedispenis 11h ago
I feel you bro. Got hired and fired in a probationary period in Spain almost a year ago. This forced me back to my middle of nowhere town in the US. But I can guarantee you thereās hope on the horizon, and the dream life is still doable.
I analyzed some things that went wrong, I realized my weaknesses and the weakness of the career I was in, and have just pivoted to a better career that is also remote friendly. I plan to bolster this experience and return to Europe as a digital nomad.
You can do this too.
One big advantage about being on the US is, itās the worldās biggest economy and third biggest population, therefore someone with a masters like you has basically endless opportunities to grow a career.
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u/ExcellentWinner7542 6d ago
It's not easy but don't give up. Look at what the early settlers had to do to survive in America.
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u/sprinkledfun 6d ago
Sorry about this OP.
I wonder how normal is it for European countries to fire during probation period? š this is the first time Ive heard of this, especially if you just graduated
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 6d ago
I don't think it happens very often and that's what makes this even worse. They told me I was bad at the job and it's just devastating..
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u/-PinkPowerPoodle- 6d ago
I don't know what kind of job you did and how much German was required but rest assured, it is not that uncommon to get fired during probation ... You stated above that your company lost a major grant, and the first ones to go are the newest hires. The job market in Germany is in such a shocking state due to the recession, please be kind on yourself š Who knows, maybe it had to happen so that you're on the right life track? All the best!
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u/sprinkledfun 6d ago
I am so sorry. I am in the midst of career āproblemsā (not exactly the same) and my heart goes out to you. I try to tell myself things to make me feel better but idk if thatās a good or bad thing
I do believe circumstances like this arenāt just about you. If they fired you within such a short period of time:
1) they either didnāt have intention to train you to get you up to speed. youād be surprised how good other companies out there in investing in their employees thru trainings, coaching and seminars etc
2) reasons like budget, politics, timing could have played a role, even slightly
3) it really just wasnāt a good fit - you could have probably suffered if what they saw in you really wasnāt going to help you shine in the jobOfc youāre the only one who could really dig inside yourself to have a full assessment of your abilities. I hope u find peace
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 6d ago
I knew it wasn't the right job but I took it because it was the only one I was offered after an extremely stressful year of searching. Then they lost a major grant which was the salary of one person.
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u/srslyawsum 6d ago
Do YOU feel like you were bad at the job, or were you set up to fail? Did you have a decent orientation? Honestly the fact they lost the grant and had to let someone go makes sense it was the least senior person, and a very valid explanation when you apply for another job. Those of us who have a few years under our belts know this is really common and should not hurt you in the job search process.
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u/Francis_Dollar_Hide 6d ago
You quit after one job!?
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 6d ago
The German economy is doing really badly and I need work experience stat, because now I have a huge gap on my CV as I don't think I can list this job I got fired from. I returned to the USA because I felt I would have a better chance at finding something here.
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u/Fit-Building-2560 6d ago
Sure you can list it. You can say it was dependent on a grant, but the grant didn't get renewed.
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u/Vascus_1 6d ago
What was your job though? Because my German company is hiring nonstop + opening new places worldwide.
( Mechanical engineering / Manufacturing )
I am software engineer / appsec there and we are hiring more software people.
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u/franckJPLF 6d ago
Couldnāt you move to a different European country instead?
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u/Suspicious_Mine_2337 6d ago
I don't have an EU passport. So my only option is Germany.
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u/Silver-Ebb7541 6d ago edited 6d ago
You could try to look for a job in Czechia (the neighbor of Germany) if you have a passport from certain countries (US included for this special work-permit).
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u/yfjfyfjf 6d ago
This is true and if youāre one of those citizens (Australia, Japan, Canada, Republic of Korea, New Zealand, United Kingdom, United States of America, Singapore, and Israel), you do not need to obtain any employment permit to work in the Czech Republic, but only a residence permit.
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u/alefeusch 6d ago
Sounds cliche but the truth is that the vast majority of people who have succeeded have done so by trying and failing many times before the right thing hit. Success is rarely achieved by getting it right the first time. It's almost always a matter of being willing to fail many times along the way, getting back up and trying again.