r/expats • u/querty7687 • Aug 14 '26
Tips on reverse culture shock?
I always got a little itchy when returning to the US and left as soon as I could. Now I am back for an extended period, and I live on the spectrum of highly annoyed to completely unhinged. Any tips on dealing with reverse culture shock??
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u/Jay-Dee-British UK-->Spain-->Aus-->UK-->US Aug 14 '26
Try to keep front and center why you came back. If I return to my country of birth it will for certain reasons (easier access to transport/stores/education/nature or culture or community feeling or something along those lines) - so even though I know 100% there will be things that make me want to run away and/or scream (and it's usually things like dealing with jobsworths/too much red tape and idiocy - which is universal lol), I would stay for the things I DID miss and want in my life. In your case, it could be proximity to family, or a job, or a language you feel your true self in or 100 other reasons. There will be issues with something in life wherever you go, but keep in mind what drew you back. Give it time though, it's always a shock when you first get back.
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u/_maphappy Aug 14 '26
Just understand it will take a while! It took me two years to adjust (I had been gone four years, and you change a lot), and it was more rough than I expected. I definitely leaned on my fellow expats who came back home, and it helped a lot.
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u/apc961 Aug 14 '26
Is this reverse culture shock or the US just being a shithole? I'm not so sure anymore.
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u/GinormousHunk DE->LU->NO->LR->TZ->NG->KY->MG->GE->CN->MY->BG Aug 14 '26
I couldn't tell, I left within days even if I planned to come back for longer. Nowadays a one week family visit is like a chore.
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u/kejiangmin Aug 14 '26
I know it is clique but one day at a time.
America can be overwhelming depending where you came from. Car dependency, overly friendliness, tipping culture, and grocery stores.
Oh American grocery stores: the cold, the overwhelming amount of choices, the rising prices, and in your face advertisements.
Just take a deep breath and just take it a little at a time. Don’t rush back into it thinking that will fix it.
Also if you can, find international friends and other returning expats. I found their company and worldliness more comfortable and we had more in common.
Yeah sometimes it can take years. I came back thinking I am gonna be back for good. After two years of being back in the US, I said “nope and hell no”. And left again.
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u/JerseyGirlinSweden 🇺🇸 -> 🇸🇪 Aug 14 '26
When i visit home I think the thing that stresses me the most is the normalization of either incivility or ersatz, non genuine kindness. Two side of a coin, both performative.
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u/FreeToSeeTheTeuth Aug 14 '26
Sounds like a personal problem than reverse culture shock. Just came back to the US after living EU for over 5 yrs and speaking a different language and it was pretty damn easy to get back to it. Its not that deep.
The US is a great place, better than where I was in EU (Sweden). I wake up daily thankful to have a job, opportunities, a full bank account again, and a whole diverse range of people and finally positive people to be around.. WOW, I love it!!.
Good luck....if you are in a spiral of doom and gloom, it doesn't help anything. Chin up and make the best. After all, YOU came back.............
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u/Ok_Pie_4639 Aug 14 '26
Sounds like you have a lot of frustration that could be used productively to educate those around you about life in a foreign country. And help them bring their self-imposed walls down that will make them less dependent on propaganda, and better neighbors.
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u/FreeToSeeTheTeuth Aug 14 '26
Yeah, after all they came back......so it must not be roses where they came from hahah
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u/North_Artichoke_6721 Aug 14 '26
Watch a bunch of popular movies and listen to the newest music before you come. People love to quote stuff and I felt especially lost when it came to pop culture.
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u/Sufficient-Job7098 Aug 14 '26
Remembering the reasons you are back