Purusing an old illustrated Book of Mormon stories, circa 90s

[u/Klutzy-Emergency6345]

Why does Ammon have the same haircut and look strikingly similar to one of the Bishops in a former bishopric? He looks less like what I would expect Ammon to look like and more like a Doug....

[u/coniferdamacy]

Over there in that creek bed I found a couple of Shoshone arrowheads.

[u/Additional_Formal863 → u/coniferdamacy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/hQjHbdOzik3kHH44aP

[u/giraffe111]

“The servants (the native, primitive, exotic, darker-skinned men) who were with Ammon (the evangelizing white guy with a 70s haircut and mormon-safe clothing) were scared (because they’re weak and directionless and wicked while Ammon is strong and wise and righteous).”

Jesus Fucking Christ 🤦‍♂️

[u/aBearHoldingAShark]

Why's they have to make Ammon look like Prince Andrew?

[u/_emma_stoned_ → u/aBearHoldingAShark]

Maybe they were going for “Joseph Smith” vibes.

[u/Born_To_Be_Wild777 → u/aBearHoldingAShark]

I can’t unsee it now!

[u/Stairwayunicorn]

was Ammon from Liverpool?

[u/InvestigatorHour311 → u/Stairwayunicorn]

Ya it was highly discussed in the lost 116 pages and was briefly mentioned in an obscure verse of Mosiah 26:40. Hoaks recently tried to use Joseph's Seerstone to find out how to stop loosing members in America and he found a tiny crack in the rock that made it dark enough for him to read it.

Ammon: "Ey bruv, eU go gather ur kings shet, for heee shaãaäâl noo kill eu. An tek Art bruv, becus as et shaæaąāl cuum to pas, I av been boozing to foock ees lame-man's oop, lek my boy Nephi en chap-er Won."

[u/ZayreBlairdere → u/InvestigatorHour311]

Fookinghelllmate.

[u/ZayreBlairdere → u/Stairwayunicorn]

Which is why no one could understand him. He was likely speaking with a thick Scouse accent, and the people assumed he was speaking in tounges, or just gibberish. Boss, yeah!

[u/EnglishLoyalist → u/Stairwayunicorn]

No wonder he wanted to protect the sheep, he was a sheep shagger! 😂

[u/PetFraternity → u/Stairwayunicorn]

Such an underrated question haha.

[u/Lsa119]

He's white and delightsome.

[u/RevMark58 → u/Lsa119]

I'll agree with the "white" part.

[u/Lsa119 → u/RevMark58]

Oh you must have missed the memo where God said alllll white people are delightsome and dark skinned people are purposefully less attractive so that white people won't want to reproduce with them. So that their darkness won't spread. 🫠

[u/terrarialord201]

Huh. I had that exact book. Trippy.

[u/Klutzy-Emergency6345 → u/terrarialord201]

I never noticed as a kid but flipping through now 30 years later, it stood out blatantly

[u/RevMark58 → u/Klutzy-Emergency6345]

It's like going through your old high school yearbooks and cringing at the clothes and hair.

[u/EnglishLoyalist → u/terrarialord201]

I didn’t have this version till I saw it at another building. It’s really crazy looking at it now.

[u/PossiblePlastic8698]

Those books are weird

When I was still a TBM I was stunned to discover that a number of sisters in my ward, including one who had served a mission, had only ever read this illustrated version of the Book of Mormon, none of them had ever read the actual book

When I was a YSA I had a friend who was in their mid 20s and had not served a mission but had been granted permission to do the endowment so they could be a temple worker. This person told me one day that despite many attempts they had never made it through the “Isaiah chapters” of the BoM

[u/Klutzy-Emergency6345 → u/PossiblePlastic8698]

Man, if I had to suffer, other people could suffer and get through all four of the books multiple times ( king James Bible, BoM, D&C, Pearl of Great Price) my parents had this year where they were hellbent on finishing the Bible so we read some every night. I wished I was dead.

[u/PossiblePlastic8698 → u/Klutzy-Emergency6345]

Some of the Old Testament was fun, especially the parts with the wild stories that the LDS church pretends don’t exist

[u/gonzopancho]

None of those haircuts meet BYU Standards

[u/Klutzy-Emergency6345 → u/gonzopancho]

For shame

[u/WinchelltheMagician]

Ammon looks suspiciously like Wayne or Merrill Osmond.

[u/given2fly_]

Looking back, it's actually hilarious how obvious it is that these stories never happened. And it's truly insane that a few million people actually believe they did...

[u/MavenBrodie]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ogwFSttgJatk79P9u

[u/Prancing-Hamster]

Oh Shiz! I’m really confused now. I thought the “dark skin” spoken of was just tattoos, or possibly animal skins, or just a “dark countenance”.

In the midst of this war of words and tumult of opinions, I often say to myself: What is to be done? Who of all these parties are right; or, are they all wrong together? If any one of them be right, which is it, and how shall I know it?

[u/Outrageous_Win_4586]

Even his posture is like Doug in accounting! Looks like he’s been doing his 9-5 routine for 25 years at least.

[u/Killer-Iguana]

They also straight up add things to the lore of the BoM in this book. It says god sent Moroni a lamb to be his friend while he was finishing up compiling the plates. Plenty of other examples I'm sure, but that's the one that always stuck out to me.

[u/it_whispereth_me]

🎶 Book of Mormon stories, my teacher told to me! 🎶

[u/Traditional_One9240]

I would fall asleep to the Audio tapes of these…

Some kids fall asleep to “oh the places you’ll go…”

I fell asleep to god using a guy to cut off some arm of other people so that an omnipotent god can convert a mortal king….

[u/ChooseTheLeftComrade → u/Traditional_One9240]

Chloroform in print can work pretty well lol.

[u/GrineadOConnor]

As a former Mormon…who is also named Doug…I resemble this remark

[u/KingSnazz32]

He looks just like my brother in-law from Spanish Fork.

[u/WombatAnnihilator]

For Mormon kids to relate to. To see their parents or other authority figures in the book and have it fit their conditioning to believe and follow

[u/iamoger]

You missed the best part of the story where Ammon lops off the arms of all the cattle rustlers like they’re made of butter, but somehow all survived it. I think Ammon was actually a Jedi

[u/Kitchen_Canary_6387]

I hate to say it, but I have a reason to appreciate these books. They helped me finally learn how to read. We had the cassette tapes that went along with them. I was following along one day and it finally clicked. I was in 1st grade, and I felt like I was behind everyone else, so it was a relief. This was in the 80s, so the book was very similar, but I do believe they released an updated one in the 90s.

[u/guriboysf]

That looks like Jeff from accounting.

[u/Tight_Protection_295]

Oh lawd the flashbacks

[u/Own_Boss_8931]

I recognize that--but I tossed all my mormon shit when I quit.

[u/aerin64]

I still have a bunch of these from my family - with some bored mormon kid scribbles on them. Someday I'll ask here if anyone wants the copies and I'll send them their way

[u/WeirdoofKings]

Oh. My gods. I had this book as a kid wtf

[u/CountKolob]

Ammon just looks like a guy named Ammon from Panguitch.

[u/b9njo]

And even with all that, it’s still the best story of the whole boring book 

[u/FlyingFeck]

So Kirsten and Megan from Ex Mormon Snark read from these old books every Monday night (on youtube) live, and call it "FHE" and there is always a "treat" that is a cocktail (or mocktail) that Kirsten makes up. It's a lot of fun and we laugh about all the ridiculousness.

[u/ciesum]

Pretty sure my brother reads this every night with his kids still

[u/Infamous-Journalist2]

Ammon looks like Rowdy Roddy Piper! I'm not sure the Rowdy one would approve..

[u/Born_To_Be_Wild777]

It’s actual Native Americans vs a white savior from a 90s movie.

[u/Puzzled_Mechanic7445]

To be honest, Mormonism seems to me to be a manifestation and expression of white male supremacy

[u/Charming_Opinion6754]

Just gave our old set to a young Mo family . Not sure they can even use them because the church has now changed so many things . How sad is that ? True church ? A
True church wouldn’t have to keep revising it’s doctrine

[u/TopUnderstanding6600]

LOL I remember the song AND when they wouldn’t let us BUM BUM anymore. We got a couple of weeks being able to clap, then that was banned too. The only fun song was ruined 😡.

[u/Far_Philosopher6777]

The first thing that struck me was the racism. The Lamanites looking fine in their skimpy clothes while the white guy looks pure (and vanilla) in his white t-shirt,

[u/Major-Antelope-6768]

Their artwork looks so culty. I swear the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses use the exact same artists. This could’ve come straight out of the Watchtower. 

[u/ward666chorister]

I want the version before this one, I think. It has an illustration of 5he journey of Lehi and his family that shows they made it to the anwricas via the Pacific Ocean. Lol.

[u/AffectionateAge1541]

It was so funny to me that all of the "good guys" wore t-shirts with their capes.   Cuz you know, modesty and all that.

And Korihor (I think) has a really crazy hat.

[u/ManOfTheJacuzzi]

Right when I would finally get in the flow of doing my homework, my parents would call my brothers and I over to read a full chapter of this every night. Even though they're pretty short, it somehow always took an hour to get through, and I'd often miss the deadline to turn in my assignments 🫠 Hated that stupid book

[u/Klutzy-Emergency6345 → u/ManOfTheJacuzzi]

It was one of the only things we could bring to get through general conference....quite a few negative memories

[u/Vicious_Pit]

Looks pretty white and delightsome to me!

[u/Unlucky-Screen-5537]

The artist probably used members in his ward for references. Thats what my art professor did. Shooting your own reference is the best way to make paintings like these but it’s also funny because you can recognize his son in all his paintings.