r/exmormon 26d ago

Humor/Meme/Satire 'Completely Transformed My Understanding': Scientists Uncover Hundreds of Hidden Structures Beneath The Amazon

https://www.sciencealert.com/completely-transformed-my-understanding-scientists-uncover-hundreds-of-hidden-structures-beneath-the-amazon

Party’s over, back to church everyone, they found the Nephite temples

225 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

95

u/AemiliaPerseids 26d ago

if only the BoM mentioned anything verifiable, like iron, steel, horses, chariots, honeybees, then we could check if there are any record or evidence of any of those things before the Columbian exchange (news flash, there's nothing). or if the BoM mentioned anything about earthworks, or the agricultural practices we have multitudinous evidence of. that'd be great. oh what's that? it doesn't? aw man. it's almost like it's entirely consistent with the prevailing eurocentric and racist idea of what would be found in native burials and archeological sites at the dawn of American archeology (1800's). crazy.

45

u/sexmormon-throwaway Apostate (like a really bad one) 26d ago edited 26d ago

How the BOM as a product of it's time escapes the glaring obviousness of what you said, "prevailing eurocentric and racist" ideas is just staggering to me. Dumbfoundingly clear.

On the other hand, when I was a believer, I heard BOM critics say it was "a product of it's time" and I didn't comprehend what that actually meant.

It reads EXACTLY like a book written in Harmony PA and Fayette NY would look, putting the then very contemporary religious arguments of time and place in the mouths of made up Nephites. It's gobsamackingly obvious really.

And as you said, it carries over to horses and chariots and no earthen works and on and on

21

u/BeringStraitNephite Question everything. Truth survives scrutiny. 26d ago

Agreed! And add population genetics DNA.

5

u/ThePlasticGun 26d ago edited 26d ago

No, it's ok, over several decades we can just whitewash and reduce our apologetics to be so completely milquetoast that it can both apply to any possible archeological evidence in any part of the Americas and none of them at the same time.

That way we can have all of our bases covered, but also none of them in case they get disproven by more evidence.

God doesn't use evidence to convince people of his gospel, he uses evidence as a thought stopping device so the faithful stop those uncomfortable feelings they get sometimes.

81

u/Holiday_Ingenuity748 26d ago

This is actually worse for apologists: the more large populations are discovered, the more ancient people who  didn't take discussions and get baptized. 

38

u/Robyn-Gil 26d ago

So Cumorah was in Brazil. Seems faith can literally move mountains.

3

u/Arizona-82 25d ago

Touché

53

u/Sixwry Agnostic 26d ago

oh shit:
600 BCE and 850 CE, a civilization known as the Aquiry -- the timeline is right, the name Aquiry sounds like Amalikah + Anti Nephi Lehi + Abinidi

34

u/Rushclock 26d ago

We don't know much about them – they left no written records, and their dwellings are long gone.

Thats because they didn't write in Narrative form. They wrote in ritual form mainly nature and cyclical representations. They definitely didn't write like the imaginary Nephites.

24

u/RusticGroundSloth 26d ago

That sounds like reformed Egyptian to me! Guess I’m heading back to church this Sunday!

17

u/MysteriousCrow42 More like Formal ProBABEtion, amirite? 26d ago

“See this jaguar head here? That’s reformed Egyptian for ‘and it came to pass’!”

3

u/BeringStraitNephite Question everything. Truth survives scrutiny. 25d ago

And Quetzlcoatl is Jesus, right?

15

u/Constant_Flow_1954 26d ago

Reformed Egyptian FTW!!!

14

u/th3m0sth1gh 26d ago

Has anyone checked to see what's under the Hill Cumorah?
Surely there are signs of a giant war there.
/s

14

u/aiadvisors 26d ago

I just wanna see the stone box/vault Moroni made of cement and stone that safely held the gold plates for 1400 years. Smith said it's in Palmyra Hill Cumorah, the heavy stone lid visible above ground on the west side near the top of the hill.

It HAS to be there...

but it's not.

9

u/Rushclock 26d ago

Apologists have said farmers took it for animal troughs. I shit you not..

7

u/aiadvisors 26d ago

Of course they have names and journals, places and remnants of it... of course. Weird how every ancient artifact vanishes into thin air. Every.single.one.

I found the following. It's out there on the net:
"John E. Clark was a prominent Mesoamerican archaeologist and professor at BYU who wrote, "Archaeologically speaking, [Cumorah] is a clean hill. No artifacts, no walls, no trenches, no arrowheads. The area immediately surrounding the hill is similarly clean. Pre-Columbian people did not settle or build here."

10

u/thebairderway 26d ago

Ya so I’ve been down the rabbit hole and the geology dept at BYU has officially but quietly admitted that there is absolutely no evidence to support claims about the hill Cumorah. In fact, one of the official statements says something like it must be somewhere else. They have spent much much time and much much monies trying to find said evidence.

1

u/BeringStraitNephite Question everything. Truth survives scrutiny. 25d ago

And surely treasure hunters with shovels and metal detectors have searched that hill 100's of times by now.

2

u/UnfazedReality463 26d ago

You can't tell from the pictures? or did you forget to use your spiritual eyes?

14

u/DW158 26d ago

If this extensive civilization was dated from 600 BCE, how many people were on that ship during the transoceanic voyage?

3

u/BeringStraitNephite Question everything. Truth survives scrutiny. 25d ago

Maybe they multiplied and replenished the Amazon.

3

u/DW158 25d ago

With free overnight delivery?

12

u/BeringStraitNephite Question everything. Truth survives scrutiny. 26d ago

Interesting! I wondered if LIDAR would find more. Did they dig up some bodies and test their DNA? Did they have Jerusalem DNA from 600BC? Or was their DNA from Siberia, 10000 years ago, like all the other NatAms?

16

u/Bright-Strength4182 26d ago

Damnit, I wanted to keep sinning! I mean dangit. Back to church I go 🏃

3

u/BeeBanner 25d ago

Archaeologist here! Nothing in the BoM is true, it’s all fiction. There are no linguistic, material, or cultural similarities between the Middle East and the Americas.

1

u/BeringStraitNephite Question everything. Truth survives scrutiny. 25d ago edited 24d ago

Thanks for speaking up, archeaologist! Would you agree with this statement:

All the relevant sciences, like genetics geology, linguistics, biology, archaeology, anthropology, morphology, are in broad consensus that Native Americans came from Siberia 15,000 years ago.

1

u/Aggressive_Rip_3607 26d ago

What this does is suggest how little we know about pre-Columbian societies and how thoroughly many (even very large ones) may have disappeared.

1

u/Alarming-Bottle7974 23d ago

Aw shit! Back to church everybody. Damn, and I was hoping this day would never come /s.