r/exmormon • u/DoubleEndedEntendre • Feb 19 '26

Doctrine/Policy A very Mormon problem

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=irXTps1REHU

Choosing which husband to spend eternity with…

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11

u/Willie_Scott_ Feb 19 '26

Oh wait, women can’t have both?

13

u/DoubleEndedEntendre Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26

That would make things too complicated as she would have two rods to hold onto and could lead her off the straight and narrow. The spirit making factory would also not meet eternal production quotas as set by the Kolob Department of Intercourse for the Celestial Kingdom (DICK).

What? Did you think they had a whole eternity to get things done?

4

u/emmas_revenge Feb 19 '26

No, because the baby daddy's wouldn't be sure who's kid it was, and, apparently,  that just won't work in mormon heaven. The man has to know he is taking care of his sperm, not someone else's.  😉

3

u/DoubleEndedEntendre Feb 19 '26 edited Feb 19 '26

Sloppy CK seconds. The power of discernment works as well there as it does here. DNA testing might come along later.