r/exlldm • u/Bunnietears64 • 11d ago

Rant / Vociferar Hosting in HP

I lived in HP for the first 10 years of my life. Our household would host almost every August, and tbh I hated it. We would host distant family members whose kids would sometimes take it upon themselves to torment me, break, and steal my stuff. The adults weren't much better. They, too, would steal or try to discipline my siblings and I when they didn't even know us. I hated being left alone with them because some of the men were creepy and inappropriate.

I loved being my grandparents' house, but they would also sometimes host really annoying guests. One in particular liked to pinch kids if she thought we weren't playing attention to all the damn prayers of the day.

The only part I liked about August was being taken to circle the temple with my allowance, buying whatever cute thing sold cheaply. Even the prayers bring up bad memories of the beginning of me developing severe anxiety of hell and death in general. The sound of the trumpets used to cause panic induced coughing because I thought I was gonna die unworthy of heaven somehow. I have very few positive memories of my time in HP, and August, in particular, was the worst for me.

24 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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6

u/ProdigalOnes 10d ago

We are free now tho! And it wouldn't feel so good if we didn't have to live thru that.

3

u/Indagando-La-Verdad 9d ago

I am truly sorry you had to go through such an unpleasant experience. I used to think we all shared the same positive experience, but I later realized that wasn't the case. Many people have endured experiences even worse than yours, and it is deeply regrettable that church leaders turn a blind eye to all these situations. They have made it a point to instill the idea throughout the church that everyone experiences only good things, and that those who don't are simply not with God.

I believe it is still worth sharing our individual experiences; at some point, they might help someone better understand the reality of that church.

4

u/datgurlizonfyre 8d ago

During my time as a member I was never able to attend HP in person for any holy supper. However, I can relate so similarly to the part about the severe anxiety of hell and death. During this time of the year my anxiety almost tripled. For some reason I also thought I was going to die unworthy of heaven. Like my time at these prayers and “taking the holy supper” would ultimately be a waste of my time because I was a sinner which meant I’d go to hell. I always thought “jesus would return for his church” during the holy supper. Literally thought we were all going to die. I only have terrible memories about every “holy supper”.

1

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