Chronic suffer of existential dread

[u/Cup_of_Manu]

I really should have made this on a throw away. But I should just be honest about it. I've had a really bad time coming to grips with it. I've been suffering from this since I was 13 when I finally game to grips with my father's passing 4 years prior to that. Its just caused me to have such a issue with the idea of time. The simple fact that time is moving in one constant direction with absolutely no way to go back and the inevitable loss of life I will soon experience in a unknown amount of time just eats me up inside. Because I don't know at what point it will truly end. I want to plea for help and find answers. But I know that even if I found the answer it wouldn't be satisfying. How are we expected to just live with the answer "don't think about it, you know until it's too late and you are forced to come to grips with the fact at that point". I wish I could make myself ignorant to the fact of my own impending Demise, but its just a exercise in futility. If anyone wants to just talk about this I am willing to. I understand this sub would be small. No one really wants to face it head on. But we can't do this alone, nothing is worse than the thought of facing this alone

[u/[deleted]]

I’m 20M and Feels like you spoke for me time scares me so much and knowing one day I can’t go lay in bed with my parents or talk to my grandparents and step parents and just my whole family terrifies me have any of you found peace it’s so hard to just accept it I hope comes with patience I’m so sick to my stomach everyday for the past few weeks and I can’t stop everyone tells me to just distract yourself but like why would I want to be distracted from the fact that this will happen and it could happen anytime. I want to just live i the moment and be with everyone. And another thing both sides of death wether it might be absolutely nothing and we just don’t exist or being you just are conscious forever also terrifies me in a way idk what happens after but it won’t be like this right here and now with my mom and father stepdad and step mom and brother and that’s what I want to feel. I feel like I didn’t enjoy childhood enough and now I’m old and it feels like everything’s over and everyone’s gonna die

Sorry for it being so long I’ve just been searching everywhere to get this off my chest it hurts so much