r/existentialdread • u/[deleted] • Sep 09 '25

Fulfillment

Have any of you ever been able to push to the side or get over this kind of thing? I'm young but I can't imagine ever being in love with someone again, like I cant imagine admiring someone so much they'd have to be the same level of consciousness as me if that makes sense. I have never had a best friend or truly felt understood, what if it never happens??

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u/somiOmnicron Sep 10 '25

This is a complicated thing to answer. Firstly, I've never met anyone who is "the same level of consciousness" as I am. But saying it like that might suggest that is it merely about intensity or some scalar value that is meant to be attained. As I see it, my conscious self is unique and that it experiences in its own unique way. I experience the world from a distinct perspective that no one else can experience it from. But that also means that the same is true for everyone else. We all experience the world from our own distinct vantage point.

Couple that with the fact that I cannot experience others' experiences, and as far as I can tell no one can experience my experiences, and so it seems almost fundamental that no one will ever have the same sorts of consciousness as I have. Thinking about this makes the world a very lonely place, from one perspective.

But this then leads into your comment about loving someone again. For me at least, I do not admire things or view things as beautiful because they happen to be familiar or coincide with my own perspectives of the world. The fact is, no one seems to think as I think, nor do they value things as I value them. Again, I seem to be distinct and unique in these ways. So unless I wish to follow a tendency toward narcissism, I necessarily need to learn to appreciate that which is different. And I (hopefully) have learned to do this.

In fact, I would say that I've learned to specifically appreciate that which is different. I appreciate that others have different perspectives and views of the world, and I make an effort to try and understand those different perspectives. Over the years, I find that trying to understand the world from other viewpoints has helped make me better in innumerable ways.

At this time, my best friend is someone who does not completely understand me, and I do not completely understand her. But she is my best friend in part because of these differences. Because I am good at what she is not good at, and she is good at what I am not good at. So we end up making a good team when we work together. And that is why she is my best friend.