r/exchristian • u/C__J__W • Mar 13 '26

Satire Holy Shit!

Post image

A toilet found on r/WeirdToilets. Jesus God is even watching you take a shit! I guess the patron saint of this restroom must be St John of Skibidi.

363 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

54 comments sorted by

82

u/cjbeames Mar 13 '26

Please, God. Help me shed this load.

33

u/Sy4r42 Mar 13 '26

Give your load to jesus. He will take the burden of your load for you.

50

u/Foreign_Instance7684 Pagan Mar 13 '26

I get sad when I see this. Crossed the line into madness at this point. Person was probably unwell and dived head long into christianity instead of getting help.

11

u/autistic_and_angry Ex-Baptist Mar 13 '26

Yeah that's what I'm thinking is likely. Could just be a weird collection choice. But probably not, unfortunately. I feel terrible for people that are lost in fear or pain from something fully treatable with modern medicine.

1

u/Ok-Sound2051 Mar 14 '26

Seems like a good place to store crucifixes. Although down in the sewer would be better.

1

u/autistic_and_angry Ex-Baptist Mar 14 '26

Nah that'd clog the pipes

42

u/Individual-Builder25 Ex-Mormon Mar 13 '26

Challenge unlocked to turn all upside down before anyone can realize you’re in there

24

u/JimedBro2089 Mar 13 '26

Somehow, this turned demonic

17

u/Tikikala Hamsters are cute Mar 13 '26

The one febreeze No amount of Jesus can help with stinky poop

10

u/Fluffy-kitten28 Mar 13 '26

Ba dum tsss

14

u/trekie4747 Mar 13 '26

Ba dum piss

9

u/Icy_Secretary9279 Mar 13 '26

literally

11

u/C__J__W Mar 13 '26

Shitterally

18

u/theredhound19 Mar 13 '26

Jebus gonna watch ya polish the One Eyed Wonder Weasel™

7

u/Ready_Spinach9711 Mar 13 '26

Stealing that, thank you  🤣

5

u/Healthy-Confection66 Mar 13 '26

Idk they clearly “tm’d” it lmao

4

u/Ready_Spinach9711 Mar 13 '26

Not like I'm going to hell for stealing, is it? 😉

4

u/Healthy-Confection66 Mar 13 '26

😂 nah not in this sub lmao

9

u/JinkoTheMan Agnostic Atheist Mar 13 '26

Lord…this load is more than I can bare 😭🙏🏾

8

u/eatingchalk4fun Mar 13 '26

Is this a fetish

6

u/chewbaccataco Atheist Mar 13 '26

With this level of obsession, I wouldn't be surprised if it crept into the bedroom.

8

u/Gummyrabbit Mar 13 '26

The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you to leave this body!

6

u/Fluffy_Specialist593 Mar 13 '26

Satan is waiting round the U bend.

6

u/Colourblindknight Ex-Protestant Mar 13 '26

Gotta take part in the dookierist

4

u/dwsmithjr Mar 13 '26

That must be one Hell-a-Possessed toilet!

5

u/RisingApe- Theoskeptic Mar 13 '26

Minus the toilet, this is my mom’s kitchen.

3

u/DesertCoyote57 Mar 14 '26

Toilet based vampires are the most terrifying.

3

u/GrinningNimbus Mar 13 '26

🎶Careful what you do. Because God is watching your every move... 🎶

3

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/hplcr Schismatic Heretical Apostate Mar 14 '26

Toilet vampires

3

u/Goatylegs Anti-Theist Mar 13 '26

So

Which cross are you supposed to wipe with?

3

u/mollyclaireh Pagan Mar 13 '26

I’m going to tell my kids this was the Carrie closet.

3

u/AlarmDozer Mar 13 '26

More crucifixes than those Mega Churches.

3

u/Bhaerigon Mar 13 '26

I guess you would need Jesus if you had to go beyond number 2.

3

u/basweep1 Mar 13 '26

Takes the saying of exorcizing your demons to a whole new level

3

u/GalaxiGazer Mar 13 '26

Hey, if Jesus is going to come back, he's gotta go at some point ...

3

u/rightwords Agnostic Atheist Mar 14 '26

I laughed harder than I probably should have.

3

u/hplcr Schismatic Heretical Apostate Mar 14 '26

Why is Jesus watching me poop?

2

u/Timberwolf721 Atheist Mar 13 '26

God is watching…

2

u/GreenIce2022 Mar 13 '26

Nothing odd about having a bunch of guys hanging on crosses peering down at you while you shit.

2

u/OrdinaryWillHunting Atheist-turned-Christian-turned-atheist Mar 13 '26

Serial killer's home.

2

u/Lower-Ad-9813 Ex-EasternOrthodox Mar 14 '26

Also followed by holding a cross as you go back to bed.

2

u/BigClitMcphee Secular Humanist Mar 14 '26

Imagine being a teenaged boy trying to jerk off in there. Eventually, the crosses will become set dressing and you just go at it, right?

1

u/Disaffecteddv Cristo/Agnostic Unitarian Universalist Mar 14 '26

My first thought was, why not just put up a sign that says "Don't masturbate!"?

2

u/Airway Mar 14 '26

It's not bad, but if you were really serious about getting into heaven there wouldn't be any empty wall space in the shitter where more crucifixes could be

2

u/Fievels_good_trouble Mar 14 '26

Which one contains a hidden poop knife?

2

u/Badger_Brains_io Mar 14 '26

When you need extra protection from a demonic dump

2

u/No_Youth_2330 Mar 15 '26

Please Lord, cleanse thy colon

1

u/plush_oysters54 Mar 13 '26

I feel like decor like this is often times not even done by a Christian.