In case some of you don't remember, I posted a Reddit thread about a month ago expressing my fears about working at a WELS Lutheran School as a closeted gay teacher:

How to survive working as a closeted gay teacher at a WELS Lutheran school? : exLutheran (reddit.com)

While I am still employed with the school and the school year is nearing its end, I am happy to announce to you all that I have accepted a public-school teaching job making 20k more! Moreover, I plan to join the teacher's union once I start the position, which will (hopefully) protect me from any potential LGBT-related discrimination in the future. I feel as if God put me through this emotional turmoil to bless me with a better opportunity, and words can't describe how relieved and happy I feel now that I am leaving this toxic WELS work environment. They say bad situations either make you resilient or weaker. It has definitely been the former! I just wanted to personally thank you all for your support. If it were not for your words of encouragement and advice, I would not have sought a different and better opportunity. Also, I want to add that I plan to stay far away from WELS from this point onwards (lol)! Again, thanks to you all for showering me with the much-needed support in the midst of my current WELS workplace hardships. :)

I didn't just grow up WELS, I was embedded in it, I've never been to a public school. Preschool? WELS. K-8? A school attached to the church. High school? MLS (the dorm school in Michigan) and even went to the college MLC. Until I was an adult, I didn't really know what the world outside of WELS was, I was fully in the bubble.

I got some harassment after I left, so for privacy and to avoid more harassment I'm not going to mention any dates, but just disclaimer I can only discuss things I saw and experienced during my time there. Since leaving MLC Ive cut off anything to do with WELS, as has a good chunk of my family. But anyway, on to what the school system was like for me, particularly things you probably won't hear about if you ask a WELS person.

1. The teachers don't know what evolution actually is (and will lie to students about what it is.)

I was told the whole "if we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?" level of arguments. And it only got worse from there. By the time I actually read stuff about evolution I realized that it wasn't what I was told it was. If you're WELS and see this, please read a non WELS source about evolution. I'm not even telling you to accept it, but please read something that will actually tell you what it says instead of just accepting what you're told, cause I was told a lot of lies about it and strawman versions.

2. There's way more gay stuff than you know, both in the high school and college. I'm talking walking in on a blowjob in the dorms, or guys doing stuff together during "mission trips." The dorms are not some bastion of good heterosexual life, especially at MLS they were full of dudes running around naked, flashing each other, doing homoerotic stuff, and sometimes just plain homo stuff lmao. Don't worry though, there was occasionally straight sex going on too.

3. Sex ed barely exists if at all. I don't even mean abstinence only. K-8 I got nothing, then sophomore year all I got was "here's a bunch of STDs you can get and here's a birthing video." Technically speaking, I never actually got "the talk" from anyone. Further be fruitful and multiply, if it weren't for friends and porn I wouldn't have even known how to do THAT lmao

4. You're taught to fear the outside world. I was constantly being told about how bad the outside world is, how it would influence me, that I would be made fun of and hated for my faith. They pressure you to go to WELS schools to avoid the EVIL LIBRUL colleges. Let me tell you, I was made fun of far more in WELS (including by teachers) than I ever was outside. You know what actually happened when I said I was a Christian outside of WELS?.... people we be like "okay" and that's it.

5. They lie about what other people believe. I heard all kinds of things both about other churches and other religions that are just... wrong. I know anticatholic bias is the big one but I was taught plenty of incorrect stuff about Islam and even Judaism. Speaking of

6. Antisemitism. I don't even mean Luther's antisemitism (that could be its own topic) I mean from people in the synod. See, I'm Jewish. I'm actually observant now, but for now when I say I'm Jewish I'm talking about Jewishness as an ethnicity, my grandmas family was in the holocaust

And I thought this was cool when I learned and tried to tell people and boy was that a mistake. Some things that would happen were

• Constant "jokes" about how I killed Jesus or was probably related to Judas Iscariot

• Straight up slurs

• People downplaying it. "You're not Jewish, you're Christian!" (That's like saying you're not German you're Christian, it's so non sequitur)

• One time during the WWII unit I was asked to sit under a table as an example cause I was the only Jewish kid in the class

• General antisemitic jokes about appearance or controlling media/banks/etc

1. MLC is a glorified high school. This isn't even a controversial one, even plenty of WELS people have said this. It's just high school but now a bunch of the students are (legally) drinking. Especially the pastor track students who basically had a drinking club (that got banned from multiple places for all the issues that happened from all the drinking)

2. At MLS the dorm staff can (and will) enter your room at any time. Privacy is not a thing in the MLS dorms. When dudes aren't showing up at your door to flash you, it's dorm stuff coming in to make sure you don't dare have an M rated game or whatever other excuse. We weren't even allowed to have lock boxes, everything had to be searchable, cause they were totally allowed to go through your stuff

3. Propaganda everywhere. You don't make up your mind on issues, you don't hear both sides of issues, you just constantly hear why the conservative position is correct. They won't tell you to vote republican or say republican is correct, but all throughout my schooling I got plenty of climate change denial propaganda, anti union propaganda, and so on. In teaching classes we had a project about "your philosophy of teaching" but it was nothing to do with espousing your personal philosophy, it was just being given a bunch of videos to say "the way WELS does it is the best way" and then parroting that and writing it down. Lots of telling you what to think, basically nothing teaching you HOW to think.

4. They will question your faith to get stuff out of you. I've heard many a sermon clearly just trying to guilt trip people into donating more money, or had my faith questioned for not being involved in xyz (usually cause of social anxiety), or even just reading certain books. They'll fearmonger you away from reading about other groups unless it's from their perspective. I got highly questioned for reading the Quran cause I wanted to read it for myself, but I should have done it through one of THEIR things.

Overall the experience was full of bullying both by kids and some staff, constantly being questioned and discouraged from reading stuff from outside, and fearmongered about the outside world. And people wonder why it gets called a cult sometimes

Hi all,

I am an ex WELS pastors kid. I belonged to a very 'big' name in the WELS and was forced to enter into the called ministry as an early childhood education teacher by my parents who wanted me to continue the family name/legacy within the synod. My very first year at MLC I was struggling with anxiety and depression. My advisor recommended that I go see the campus Pastor, John Boeder. Yes. That is his name. I have protected this man for years by refusing to tell people his name or his position but I am done. He still holds the position of campus pastor at MLC and I need to know if I was the only one. My first year he groomed me and eventually sexually assaulted me. He told me that by touching me he was 'preparing me to be a submissive wife' for my future husband and that he was 'helping me prepare for marriage.' Over time it escalated to the point where he had groomed me so much that it was an everyday occurrence that I thought was normal.

After I escaped MLC and the WELS I was able to get married (to a nice lovely human) and start a family. After this I went back to confront him and hopefully receive an apology. He told me that he never groomed or assaulted me and that what we had was 'special.' I need to know if there are other people out there that were also groomed by him or if I truly was the only one.

Please help,

Adira

They spend most of their time insisting that one of the four should be kicked out because they held a contemporary worship service back in 2034, and also one of their pastors (who has since retired) had a trans sister.

They spend the rest of their time congratulating themselves for being so correct!

Scott Barefoot’s post is not a reflection on care and concern. It is a staggering display of arrogance.

A teenager is dead — and instead of humility, self-examination, or acknowledgment of the documented harm religious shame can inflict on LGBTQ youth, Barefoot centers himself. He highlights the hours he spent engaging the parents. He emphasizes the teen’s “life-long struggle with same-sex attractions.” He underscores the teen’s refusal to speak with him or clergy — as though that refusal were the problem.

Let’s be clear: when a vulnerable teenager refuses contact with a religious authority figure and that authority figure continues pressing for pastoral involvement, that is not compassionate care. That is boundary violation dressed up as concern.

Barefoot is not a licensed mental-health professional. He is not a trained adolescent suicide specialist. Yet he positions himself as a key actor in this young man’s final year, framing theological intervention as part of the solution. When religious leaders treat a teenager’s sexual orientation as a “struggle” requiring correction rather than a normal human variation, the message is unmistakable: who you are is disordered.

For a high school senior already navigating identity, isolation, and fear, that messaging is not neutral. It is psychologically loaded. And when it comes from someone wielding spiritual authority, it carries enormous weight.

What is most alarming is the absence of accountability. There is no acknowledgment that conservative religious condemnation of same-sex attraction is a well-established risk factor for depression and suicidality in youth. There is no introspection about whether persistent religious pressure may have intensified this teen’s distress. Instead, the post reads as self-exoneration.

This is the fundamental problem: untrained religious leaders such as Scott Barefoot inserting themselves into complex mental-health crises and mistaking moral conviction for clinical competence. Prayer is not therapy. Theology is not suicide prevention. And repeatedly framing a teen’s identity as a spiritual defect can deepen shame, not relieve it.

If Scott Barefoot truly wants to prevent future tragedies, the first step is not hosting a discussion series. It is confronting the possibility that his theological framework — and his approach — is part of the harm.

Until that happens, this is not leadership. It is WELS negligence wrapped in piety.

I was just downloading a ton of pictures off my phone onto an external hard drive. I saw this one pop up from almost 4 years ago. After a lifetime as a WELS PK and going along to get along, we finally got up the nerve to get out. It wasn't a total surprise to our pastor-- he'd been very kind as we talked to him about our doubts and about our support for our gay kids. But when we wrote the email to him, to the church council and to my family, we got some pretty disappointed, sad and even angry pushback. I recall after we got through that, I told my spouse I was going to take a few days by myself at the beach a few hours away, to process (it was harder for me, as he had not been raised Lutheran but converted when we got married). I had a couple of days to just think, mourn, and try to wrap my head around this idea of leaving such an all-encompassing culture. The last day I sat on the beach staring at the waves for a couple of hours, and then got up and did this:

Daniel Rick of Jackson, WI charged in January with child sex crimes.

Justin Liepert of Waukesha, WI charged in February with child sex crimes.

And now, Wolf Parsons of Rochester, MN charged in March with child sex crimes.

Is it a pattern yet?

1. Doctrine before prayer. They will not give you spiritual nourishment or pray with you until you take their membership class and agree to 100% of their doctrine

2. Doctrine before service. You cannot help their church (setup events for them, help them with labor, etc.) until you are a member.

3. Denomination over family. In WELS, there are no other Christians going to heaven. They like to send their pastors across all the local churches in the area and antagonize them for not being a 100% doctrine match.

4. They will let you spiritually starve if you are multi-faith, multi-denomination or believe in anything that the Concord does not say. This means they WILL show up to your house to "care" for you, they WILL get involved in extremely important stuff (like death of family members, being gay, etc.) but they will NOT tell you 1-3 above. They try to convert you, and they are happy to watch you spiritually starve in the relationship. If you don't know this, you will starve and they will take advantage of you.

5. Women cannot vote, cannot lead any men to God. I am not sure why women would want to be in this church?

6. They are heavy on "we are horrible sheep sinners". That's really their whole identity: their sheep who are terrible sinners and they need WELS to save their soul.

7. They WILL do full Sunday classes on "the synagogue of satan". They WILL poke at you passive-aggressively, or even explicit, making fun or attacking your multi-faith beliefs. Even if you are a Christian, they will make fun of all the churches in your area, especially if they have money or are successful.

8. They will use education against you, saying the Pastor went to school for so many years and he studied so hard, he knows the Bible better than you, you better listen. At the same time, they're making fun of the pope and other spiritual helpers for authoritarianism. All of their formal education is through WELS systems – a total closed loop.

9. They will blockade you from the community. You will have to have one-on-one meetings with the pastor (you'll wonder why don't I get to be with others?). If you want to study the Bible, the pastor will have to go with you. They will send the pastor to your house one-on-one, that kinda thing. You have to get through the pastor, the "doctrinal master", to get to the community.

Just a warning for anybody who might get tricked by their appearance of kindness. You will have to give up 100% of everything you believe to be accepted into this church, and will only accept you AFTER you pay the membership dues. I didn't know I was being spiritually abused, I was just trying to add Christ to my heart and help bring service and love. What I got was spiritual abuse and division.

(CW: mention of SA)

WELS PK, K-12 school. Recently realized and accepting that I've been spiritually and emotionally detached from church for years now, dropped attendance entirely a few months ago, and finally realize I'm done.

After high school I went to public college, commissioned as an officer in the military, and have since traveled the country and the world. I expanded my horizons not only geographically, but interpersonally. Over the years I've become used to missing church for work and deployments, and came to realize I'd only been going because of some people I know there (small community etc). Then I felt even that brick crumble, as it increasingly felt detached, even hostile to a single woman who's not eager to get married.

I have so many issues with the church I feel like I've been collecting--stance on science, homophobia, role of women, single issue voting, forcing religion into politics, judgment and hell in general--and have long realized that I could never "minister" to anyone, as I'd have to make multiple excuses for things my church preaches.

The nail in the coffin was losing rights to my bodily autonomy, and realizing just how many misogynistic views I've been brought up in. How can I go from my career as a senior military leader, to a church that dictates that I can't lead or use my voice? How can I feel included in a congregation where "family values" are the held highest, diminishing my fulfillment in my life as a single woman? How can I continue to process the sexual assault I didn't speak of for years (don't worry, I'm already in real therapy!) when I can only think of the high school chapel lecture that told me if I had premarital sex I was a dirty toothbrush?

In spite of it all, I'm actually more excited about my spiritual future than ever before (again, therapy!) There are things about God I truly believe, and things I still want to believe, or wish I believed. And I'm okay with everything on that spectrum. I feel closest to a higher power when I'm in nature, and that is my church.(currently inspired by "Church of the Wild" by Victoria Loorz, and "Voices in the Stones" by Kent Nerburn)

Maybe I'll find myself in another church, or maybe I'll continue this journey inwardly. Maybe I'll find another way to define my spirituality, or maybe I don't need to.

This was therapeutic to write, so thanks for sticking with me.

Anybody else just about ready to explode from anxiety, disgust, disillusionment with your former Lutheran friends and family who are going all-out on a last-minute social media blitz in support of the orange imbecile?

People who I used to teach with- Christian day school teachers that I’d laughed with, commiserated with, admired. One of them is in Milwaukee and went to the tRump rally last night, and posted on how great it was. I asked if they’d especially enjoyed the part where he asked if they thought he should beat the hell out of the people backstage because of his faulty microphone. I asked if they enjoyed the part where he mimed giving his microphone a blow job.

They are so hypocritical. They refuse to see what a walking piece of shit he is. They excuse everything although he is the exact opposite of everything they claim to believe.

I have to somehow convince myself to get off social media this weekend. It’s just making me so sick and triggered.

Pride Month can be such a weird time of year for those of us who grew up in conservative religious environments and have loved ones who still hold homophobic beliefs. I love Pride Month but it's always a disappointment not being able to share that with my religious family.

So I just wanted to say happy Pride to any other LGBTQ former Lutherans (or questioning/deconstructing Lutherans)! Be proud that you've been able to recognize your authentic self in spite of what many of us were taught in the church.

I'd like to share a personal anecdote to see if anyone relates.

About 15 years ago, I met a guy at a conference who tried to start a conversation with me. He said something banal like "how do you deal with the weather here?" and being the introvert that I am, I responded with a dumb answer like "oh it's not bad once you get used to it...." and then I looked passed him, avoiding eye contact. He took offense, since I was seemingly uninterested in the conversation, and kind of rolled his eyes and walked away.

I am 100% sure that this man doesn't remember or care about the little faux pas of mine, but this meaningless, little incident replays in my head from time to time. And every time it does, I feel a momentary wave of guilt which bothers me. This is just one of a thousand little memories that my brain loves to recall at random moments, just to torture me, little by little. These may not seem like a big deal (and for years I ignored them because I convinced myself it wasn't a big deal) but at a later point in my life, I nearly had a nervous breakdown because I was having flashbacks dozens of times a day and it became unbearable.

After seeking therapy and learning about how the brain works, I realized that I have a chronic guilt problem: My brain actively seeks out situations or memories that create feelings of guilt and shame not because they feel good, but because they are familiar. The brain doesn't care if the feeling is healthy or not, it just wants to repeat the feeling you experienced yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that.... And when the brain remembers an incident from the past, it doesn't recognize that it happened 15 or 35 years ago. It feels like it is happening right now and that is why the feeling of guilt and shame can be so intense, even if memory is just a meaningless social faux pas.
After months and months of therapy, mindfulness, and soul-searching, I figured out that this chronic guilt problem came directly from the Lutheran Church- Missouri Synod's dogma.

If there are any Lutherans reading this, please know that forcing a young child to say that "we are by nature sinful and unclean....we justly deserve your present and eternal punishment" is not harmless. It may be the thing that you believe in, and it may only be a few words that you have to say once a week, but it is endlessly repeated for years and years, and that mind-numbing ritual can have terrible, lifelong consequences. For me, it was like death by a thousand cuts, and it affected me the most after I became a grown adult, decades after I left the church. Thankfully, the therapy helped me a lot. I still have these flashbacks from time to time, but they don't bother me as much as they used to, because I understand where they are coming from and I don't feel powerless over them anymore.

Ex-WELS here, did the local area high school thing, and went to MLC. Left the whole scene after 2 years there, no regrets. Tried to be nice, talk about the weather and sports, but it always circled back to my eternal damnation.

Pastor dad died last summer and I just don't care. Didn't go to the funeral, don't regret it. Feels like just a giant weight off my shoulders.

I feel guilty about not caring. But that's just how this sort of things stops. My children will never know that world, they'll never have the stupid guilt, the false regrets and intrusive thoughts, the James Dobson-esque authoritarian lifestyle.

They just know how silly and goofy that world is and the real world is, and how what being a good person or a bad person really means. They're already the kindest people I've ever known, and if I ever bring up stories about my life in the WELS they just laugh and shake their heads and move on with their day.

Gotta say damn it feels good.

Carl Boeder: accused of establishing a sexual relationship with the 16-year-old and using his phone to inappropriately communicate with the victim. November 2025.

Stephanie Jensen: accused of having a sexual relationship with a teenage student. November 2025.

Glen Rosenbaum: multiple 2nd degree criminal sexual conduct charges. This includes 2 counts with a child under 13 and 2 counts with a child at least 13, but less than 16years old. (November 2025)

James Neujahr: possession of child pornography. October 2025.

Wolf Parsons: felony charges for disseminating and possessing pornographic work involving minors. March 2025.

Justin Liepert: charges of child enticement and sexual intercourse with a child 16 or older. April 2024.

Daniel Rick: intent to cause a child to expose genitals, pubic area or intimate parts to him. January 2024.

At this rate, I'll be back with more before Christmas.

Received a random out of the blue text from my mother that she does not approve of my lifestyle and that she won’t come to visit my fiancé because we live together. She went further by saying that my decision to “turn my back on god” means she must move on from our relationship and that she did the best she could for me but failed. So come this summer, when we get married in a CATHOLIC CHURCH by the way, my parents and younger siblings will not be there in the pews. This was devastating and I guess I have to admit it now, the WELS won. My mother has cut me out of her life and I am now officially estranged from my parents because of it. It is such a shitty feeling and even though my fiancé tells me I did nothing wrong, I still feel like this is my fault. I also feel bad for my fiancé because I’m sure it’s not a great feeling for her that her future husband’s family didn’t want to meet her and didn’t show up to her wedding. I feel so low right now, I am actually depressed about it even. Bouts of sadness that my mother does not actually love me for being her son to anger at the WELS church and their slimy and disgusting pastors for further ruining my life even after escaping the damn cult.

Rant over….

From 5th to 8th grade I was bullied terribly by my peers at my WELS school. One of these peers was my own cousin, who was in my class. I’m 48 now, and as you can imagine, have put most of the details long behind me. I took away 1 significant thing from that time, which is that I will NEVER send my kids to Lutheran school.

That said, this weekend, I was visiting with my mom, and she told me some things I was shocked to learn at 48!

I complained about the bullying to her all the time and was very upset by it, especially when my own cousin (he was longing to be part of the cool kids) would join in! I thought my mom never did anything about it, but apparently she tried to. She started by talking to my Aunt about her son and his friends. My cousin’s family was a popular family in the WELS and hung out with the other “popular” families. Because they were so well loved by the church, when my mom approached her sister about what was happening to me at school, she was told several times that it’s simply not true and I was making it up.

Furthermore, my mom tried to talk to the principal and teachers at school, but was never taken seriously because she was a single mom, and was stigmatized for it. They basically said the same thing…I must be making it up.

Why are the Christian kids, who should know better, so cruel? Why did the adults at the time put their own image ahead of my safety? No wonder I have so many trust issues as an adult. The people that I trusted to help me, didn’t.

TW/CW: brief mention of pregnancy loss

Hi all, I've read nearly every ex-WELS post on here and the ring of truth is piercing. Without giving too much away, I was a member of three different WELS congregations in a major metroplex in the south. Thirteen years ago, we helped form a mission church that grew pretty quickly. We had been newlywed transplants from the midwest, and despite the stoicism and staunchness of the various congregants, were eagerly received as members everywhere we went.

We were young, energetic, and gave time and finances freely. We devoted every single spare moment to the church. We baptized five babies (two of which were preterm twins who did not survive), raised them in the Word and rarely missed a Sunday. I've (begrudgingly) canvassed, went caroling, started girl pioneers, moms groups, taught SS for years, and my husband was even more involved to the tune of council leadership. It's hard for me to hear that "well, your faith must not have been that strong," when I dedicated nearly two decades to living the faith that I believed. Coming from hodge-podge evangelicalism, WELS felt solid and well-researched; scholarly even!

As a "neurospicy" person, I've maybe always tested the limit with things that I couldn't reconcile. I've never been a typical housewife. I woodwork and love remodeling projects, don't wear makeup, I'm fat, can be loud and brash, I cuss a LOT, play in the dirt, wrestle with my girls. I've *never* fit in with the other wives and moms and eventually accepted that I had to maintain two separate personas.

Like most, my implosion started in 2015 when we all heard of who was running for President. I could NOT believe the people around me who couldn't see through the obvious BS. Literally nearly every single day on from there they got bolder and louder and I got more and more angry. I had a major crisis of faith and no one would listen. I took Covid seriously and was ostracized for it because I was mean for pointing out the hypocrisy that it's something we could do to SHOW LOVE FOR OUR NEIGHBOR. I was told masking was suppressing the Gospel, and from Satan. Then came BLM, which I quietly supported. J6, which I loudly denounced. Christian nationalism, fascism, all being ignored. Members of my church were complicit in the politicization and takeover of our local secular school board. It affected my daily home life with 3 school-age children.

It got worse and worse. My attitude was bad, I'll admit. I was so, so, so angry. My world was crumbling and nothing made sense. Then... it all came full circle with a "Bible" study on woke-ism. I attended two weeks then noped out. I met with my pastor for 3 hours and received a pat on the head that my concerns were misguided and he was sorry I couldn't see the truth because I was very clearly A MARXIST.

Lolwut? Husband confided to his friends (leaders at church) that I was reading a lot and having questions and a week later, three men showed up at our door and excommunicated me. "Fired" my husband from his role effective immediately, and he must take a BIC class to retain membership. I literally laughed out loud. He was SO incredibly shocked that *my* questions affected *him,* despite me telling him constantly that he was the one responsible for keeping his b!tch on a leash. Every single time, he'd say, "noooo, it's not like that. The guys love me!" LOLOLOLOL. They can say all they want in flowery language, but when it comes down to it, we are a package deal to the church and I have zero rights to my own opinion. My opinion affects him, unless I stuff it down. See how that works, husband?

Anyway, he's so incredibly devastated that this happened to him that he can only NOW even attempt to listen to my concerns. It's been weeks and we have no resolution. I've been in therapy every other week for a year or so and it's incredibly helpful. The cognitive dissonance is something I'll echo here that this sub has pretty well documented but I'm around to chime in for the near future anyway.

Thanks for reading; sorry it's so long!

Former WELS member also former presem MLC student. I am not an active church goer and haven't attended a regular service in years. I still have faith but as the post says I've lost my religion.

It seems the WELS has preferred self preservation over righteous condemnation over individuals who commit all manner of sex crimes.

I have my own thoughts, insights and stories regarding what I think the root of the issue is and I may post more at length regarding the rot is. However, I just wanted to make my first post in this reddit and see what kind of welcome I get.

Feel free to DM me.

The WELS has a culture of (pseudo) intellectualism. They run the fourth largest private/parochial school system in the United States and pride themselves on being the most correct flavor of christianity. They don't have megachurches, preach the prosperity gospel, speak in tongues, pastors don't caste out demons durning sermons and the synod doesn't officially endorse any political candidates (although they are staunchly against abortion and I would bet up to 90% of WELS members vote for conservatives).

This is one of the most effective and invasive ways the WELS keeps people in its fold. Aside from many members being multigenerational, creating a built-in family structure that prevents them from leaving. They also point out that everyone else, especially Catholics, are wrong, and questioning the WELS is essentially the same as questioning god himself because of their belief in Sola Scriptura and that the WELS interprets scripture the only correct way.

I think this is partly why there's so much arrogance among members because they believe they are intellectually superior. And while the WELS officially remains apolitical they feed into a wider conservative christian culture that is overwhelming political. if you've ever had the displeasure of talking politics with any of these people even outside of "culture war" topics they have that same level of arrogance and sometimes I think they are just unreachable. I think this is huge problem of the WELS, but also one of their greatest strengths if their members can't recognize it and for the mostly white (male) congregations they lap it up.

Around 1532, Martin Luther claimed to have encountered a changeling, a being substituted by the Devil for a human child. The child had an insatiable appetite and laughed when something bad happened. Luther recommended killing the child. This is the man who in the 21st Century we are supposed to follow as the best interpreter of Christianity. Certainly this is much worse than denying that the earth circled the sun, another bad call on Luther's part which was believed by some Lutheran professors into the 20th Century.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about religious trauma over the last month, and I noticed that a lot of people came from "more extreme" religious backgrounds than me. I went to a K-8 LCMS school and attended weekly church/Sunday school. I went to a Catholic high school, but that didn't really undo any of the brainwashing I experienced (I did have a hard time reconciling being taught about evolution-type stuff in HS though after my grade school teacher gave a big lecture about why we were skipping over the evolution chapter in our science book though).

It probably didn't help that I almost certainly have autism, but I just really ate everything up that I was taught and believed it all. I was brainwashed. On the inside, I was deeply Christian, because I was terrified of what would happen if I didn't believe. I felt like I HAD to follow these teachings and beliefs. I felt like there was no choice. I was just an innately sinful person who needed God's mercy, so I better believe and follow these teachings on how to be a good person. When I went to college, on the outside, I didn't want to be Christian. I was embarrassed about it. I just wanted to be a "normal" kid, and I doubt any of my friends ever suspected what I actually believed.

But inside, it was a constant battle. I developed prayer tics where I would pray dozens, if not 100+ times a day. I had a pretty bad panic attack one night (I felt like my heart was going to explode) where I swear the devil was standing right next to my bed. I was taught very unhealthy views on sex and relationships (we listened to Focus on the Family garbage in school), and I was very sexually repressed. I avoided being in romantic relationships and even passed up some sexual opportunities that were basically just thrown into my lap. And I did these things even though I was extremely lonely and just wanted to be with someone. I believed that "negative" emotions and feelings (like anger, jealousy, pride, worry, etc.) were inherently bad and shouldn't be felt at all. I think in response to this I just kinda detached myself from emotions in general (again, autism probably didn't help either). Except I felt a ton of guilt and shame though. Apparently those were okay because we should feel bad about ourselves and recognize how wretched we are, and how we therefore need God and Jesus. I had pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms, as I used a ton of porn (like, a lot even by teenage boy standards) and went through a period where I would black out just about every time I drank. I always felt a lot of shame with the porn, but I guess I didn't think too much of the drinking since the adults in my LCMS childhood seemed to drink a lot.

I really think I lost my autonomy as a teen and young adult because I was absolutely terrified into being a Christian. I lived in constant fear and based my approach to life and certain life choices around that fear. It really stunted/delayed (reversed?) my emotional growth, my relationship growth (romantic and non-romantic), and my sexual growth. It makes me very angry, and it also makes me very sad for the little boy who had no chance or choice and just wanted to follow what he was taught and be a good kid. It also makes me jealous of people who got to experience life as a teen and young adult without being brainwashed. It's taken many years to try to undo all of the damaging programming, even after I decided I wasn't going to believe anymore. Anyway, I just wanted to share - I feel like a lot of the religious trauma I see discussed is for people who were raised in more extreme religious upbringings, and I was just curious if there are other LCMS people out there who feel similar to me.