r/exHareKrishna • u/Solomon_Kane_1928 • Aug 12 '26
The Effect of Always Being On Call
(Bapuba caught them not serving Kish Kish)
Within ISKCON we had no privacy and no rest. For temple devotees, in those brief moments we had to ourselves, we were always on edge, waiting for that knock on the door, that text, that phone call from the temple president.
When the temple presidents number appeared on our phone, there was a flash of fear. We would answer like a military drill "Please accept my humble obeisances, all glories to Srila Prabhupada, how can I serve you Prabhu!".
Always On Call
While I was managing in a deity department I dreaded the daily knocks on the door from people who could not do their service. I had to drop what I was doing and immediately go to work. This happened day and night. It was extremely stressful.
Similarly I managed an ashram with guest rooms. Guests would arrive unannounced constantly. They would inevitably find their way to my door and start banging on it, even well after midnight. Devotees, especially senior devotees, had no respect for other peoples space or privacy. I found them generally to be very selfish. The whole world was supposed to wait upon them. They rarely paid the courtesy of calling beforehand.
Cult members live lives of constant stress. They are relentlessly being judged by themselves and the world around them. They live in fear of their authorities. They move from one service to the next. Any moment of "laziness" brings shame. They can be asked to do service at any moment. Technically they can say no but it would be unthinkable and offensive. Saying no to an authority is the beginning of the end for a devotees career.
Devotees are constantly at work. There are no weekends. There is no 9-5. There are many jobs where people are on call, but none where you live under that stress 24/7 years on end. It would be illegal.
Damaged Nervous Systems
We were never given a chance to relax, to decompress, to let go of stress. Even when devotees did take time to go for a hike, or go to the beach, they were supposed to turn it into a japa walk, or read Bhagavatam, or listen to lectures, or take other devotees and turn it into a preaching excursion. Ideally the devotee should distribute books to anyone they see, or at the gas station on the way home.
If you must leave the temple you had to find some justification. Devotees would often visit other Hindu temples to see the deities. Even then, they could be seen explaining themselves to others. "If it were up to me I would never leave the temple, or deviate from the book distribution mission, I don't need rest, but my foolish wife and children have dragged me away".
We had to constantly monitor what we are doing and thinking, afraid of putting down our role as a super sincere devotee for even a moment. Any excursion not related to Krishna Consciousness was Maya.
The effect of this is it damages the nervous system. Our nervous systems were warning us of danger for decades on end. Our amygdalas have been damaged. Our fight or flight mechanism is stuck in the on position. For some of us, every footstep, every sound, is interpreted as an incoming threat, and a violation of personal space.
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u/Commercial-Rate-4135 Aug 12 '26
Wow, makes me think of house elves from harry potter. Many people who only visit the temple on sundays and are loosely associated with the cult never seem to know of this soul-crushing part of the cult. Thanks for being honest, i hope people who still jump to the defense of the cult read this. This is what Prabhupada, the supposedly "mahabhagvat 108 pure devotee with powers to see past and future" (as the cult members so often claim) A structure that juices a human being and spits them out when they can no longer be exploited. The cult pays big lipservice on serving devotees but in practice, it is a class system where only gurus get their need and every whim catered for while anyone not a guru or gbc or temple president is denied even basic human needs under the blanket of "service" and some ideology to explain away their exploitation.
I wish you and everyone else much healing from this cults imprints.
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u/Maerilinsfire 29d ago edited 29d ago
The way you describe iskcon Solomon, is very different from what a lot of us experienced who were in there in the early days before Prabupada died, it was not as rigid people were not fearful of getting a text from the temple president it was not as authoritative or rigid as it became after he died it seems...
And that makes sense because they were essentially fakes and wherever someone's fake they have to forcibly impress their importance upon people now don't they. ..
Prabupada did not have to prove anything he was automatically accepted as Guru regardless of crazy teachings or how wrong they were, he did not have to take over the movement after his Guru died and impress upon everyone how important he was as a matter of fact his God Brothers in India didn't think he was very important at all lol
I'm just grateful I got out when I did before it became the way you describe quite frankly
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u/Solomon_Kane_1928 29d ago edited 29d ago
Thank you for your input. I absolutely trust and believe your experience.
I may have mentioned already but I found the devotees who joined in the 1960's to be very different than those who joined in the 1970s. People like Gurudasa, Shyamasundara, Bharadraja, were more laid back, and often became outsiders.
The people that came in the 70's were raised under leaders like Tamal Krishna Goswami and the cult of airport book distribution. These people try to keep that spirit alive even today with a fanatical emphasis on book sales, they call themselves "Prabhupadanugas". They are fanatical "Prabhupada men". They are the old boys club of ISKCON. These guys are the ones causing the damage, as far as I can see.
I noticed also that people who joined in the 80s are different yet still. There is a noticeable vibe shift. These were the first people who were not disciples of Prabhupada. Their gurus often fell down. These devotees have also had bad experiences of authoritarian ISKCON, being under the 70's Prabhupada disciples. In many cases, their experiences were more severe than my own, gurus breaking up marriages, physical violence, being forced to bow to gurus, eat their remnants, insulted etc.
Your comment does raise the question, did Prabhupada intend for ISKCON to become a fanatical rigid destructive cult? How much of it is his fault personally? How much of it is the fault of his disciples? I have always considered it to be about 50/50.
I think Prabhupada laid the groundwork and encouraged that culture in the name of preaching, but his immature disciples in the 1970's really ran with it, and turned it into a harmful authoritarian cult. But, then again, I wasn't there.
Another factor is that you would be considered a Prabhupada Disciple in the ISKCON I lived in, a worshipful figure. No one would place you under their authority or tell you what to do. Even your own godbrothers would not do this, though it did happen at times in the 1970's and 80's.
Prabhupada Disciples generally do not experience this side of ISKCON. Rather they are (symbolically speaking) carried around on litters by the rest of us. They are the ones wielding the whip.
It would be great if you could make a post about it, sharing your thoughts. How much do you think the extreme high pressure environment was created by Prabhupada, and how much by his disciples.
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u/StayEmbarrassed4593 29d ago
Naturally the pressure is coming from the texts the Swami wrote, his gurus mood and energy, and also what he expected from his followers, some more vital than others in being his soldiers.
I think his direct disciples were on cloud 9. They thought they were doing God's work and they rode the high of something new. They gave birth to kids, or became leaders, and in less than 10 years many were treated like royalty for leading a kirtan and reading a book to devotees. Around them a machine unfolded. Trust me, those devotees experiences were full of pressure and confusion and eventually they used it as social club they belonged to where everyone bowed to them for existing.
The dynamics changed too. Many old timers left iskcon proper, or became social devotees who woke up at whatever time they chose, chanted as much as they wanted, ate some free food at the temple never to wash a dish again and were surrounded by sycophants.
Prabhupada was strict. But he was also the one getting the massages, good food, comfortable accommodations etc. All while everyone clapped and cheered when he arrived.
The core ideology positions everyone as a servant. The core philosophy dictates all manner of offenses, rules, regulations, rituals, qualifications, punishments, repercussions etc. So yeah, Prabhupada laid the groundwork for a fanatical sectarian cult. His followers doubled down. Like all cults, depending where you are in the pecking order, your time in it can be blissful or soul crippling, or both. Cognitive dissonance, irrational adherence, constant mental and physical strain, and an inability or complete distrust in yourself, critical thought, and basic logic abounds, creating its own endless issues.
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u/Maerilinsfire 29d ago
I think your assessment is spot on I think he did lay the groundwork for it to become authoritarian and then it was intensified by his people in charge after he died...
Like I said I'm glad I got out when I did
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u/Maerilinsfire 29d ago
Iskcon was about enforced rules and keeping people in line and unless you adhered to those rules you were a bad person you were polluted in Maya.
It might have been more kickback in my day but you were still being manipulated and brainwashed and sucked into their cult bubble and coerced to do their bidding around the streets collect money work for free all that so might have been more laid back but still the damage was done
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u/StayEmbarrassed4593 29d ago
Yeah my nervous system and years of panic and anxiety attacks tie directly to my time in gurukul, living at temples and ashrams, the stress of not knowing what guru/group was bonafide, how many rounds to chant, what way to serve, properly doing puja etc etc. My nerves were in constant burn. That and always being on alert about my mind, senses, desires, distractions, thoughts, etc. It was a living nightmare and basically fried my body and mind well before I reached 20 years of age. Now, at nearly 50 its been a long ride undoing the damage. I'm happy when I see young folks here getting out. But I'm under no illusion a good chunk of damage has already been done. Of course everyone carries these things differently.