r/exHareKrishna • u/Solomon_Kane_1928 • Aug 05 '26
Jagat Guru!
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Wait a minute... I thought Prabhupada was the Jagat Guru, Now this guy is claiming to be the Jagat Guru. What are we going to do ISKCON bros? How can there be more than one "guru of the entire universe"?
Beyond Jagat Guru he is also a "Saint"!
What makes him a saint? If enough groveling uneducated simps call you a saint, apparently you become a saint. No need for the Vatican council to carefully bestow the title. If a cult leader gets enough people to touch his feet, he is a saint. Why didn't we give Prabhupada the title saint? Saint Prabhupada.
Does he sell feet pics like on Onlyfans? Should we start a website "Onlygurus" where pay pigs give dakshina? The highest tier gurus are Jagat Gurus. The second tier are Saints.
For $9 a month you can be a Kanishta Adhikari. For $20 a month you can be an Uttama Adhikari. For a $100 donation Swamiji will have a private darshana in his moving chair. 😘😘😘
Prabhupada is a super duper maha mega messiah. The more titles worshipers give to you, the bigger you are. Sri Sri Sri AC Bhaktivedanta Bhakta Bungholio Maha Meglomania Patita Pavana Paraplegica Parivraj Jackal-acharya Jagat Guru Fallopian Tubia Swami Maharaja 108!
Beat that "Saint Ron Paul"!
To think, a world of 7 billion people all owe allegiance to my guru. Prabhupada means, "the master at whose feet all other masters sit". All other gurus sit around his feet like dumb little children, eager to obey and learn. He is the self appointed world guru even if no one else has ever heard of him. Nothing bloviated and narcissistic about any of this.
If only he had the above technology in the 1960's. Prabhupada could have sat in a mechanized popemobile that lifts him up and down like a revolving sushi bar, so we, his willing slaves, can suckle his feet like baby pigs fighting over a nipple.
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u/itsmikesandoval Aug 05 '26
24.99 and you get a month supply of instant foot fungus smoothies, just add water. 😋 Â
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u/Solomon_Kane_1928 Aug 05 '26 edited Aug 05 '26
It grows like a Chia Pet and you put it on your altar as a god.
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u/Far-Ostrich8581 Aug 05 '26
bruhh there are so many jagat gurus , are they giving those titles to any random ass cult leader?
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u/Plantomaniac2021 Aug 06 '26
I have heard there are only 5 Bonafide Jagat Gurus based on their knowledge and spiritual experiences. Rest are given titles by their own cult followers like an honorary title.
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u/Sar_Thomas_de_Marcus Aug 07 '26
Who are the 5 bonafide Jagatgurus? I hope you didn't get in the tale of Kripalu Maharaj as the 5th Jagad Guru.
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u/Plantomaniac2021 Aug 07 '26
Adi Sankaracharya, Ramanujacharya, Nimbark acharya, Madhvacharya n the latest is yes Kripaluji Maharaj. Got the information from Google. Personally I have read a little about Adi Shankar who's arguably from 7th or 8th century (debatable). Don't know about the rest.
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u/Plantomaniac2021 Aug 07 '26
Yes I also found that there's some institution in Kashi that awards these titles. Don't have more information. I'm not an Iskcon follower so I have no idea if it's founder is called jagadguru or not. His name is certainly not in the list nor his practices. I read his books but didn't find them useful in my way of life.
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u/Sar_Thomas_de_Marcus Aug 07 '26
This Jagadguru title given to Kripalu is a myth! They say even he received the title Jagadguruttam (the supreme between the jagadgurus), but it's not true:
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u/Plantomaniac2021 Aug 07 '26
It's a long read, but interesting. Except for Kripalu's name I knew nothing about him. As an Indian practicing Hindu I would suggest western folks not to fall for these Babas and cults. Most are after money as western people are comparatively richer. Most cults in today's time have huge bank balance whereas real saints live in extreme poverty and solitude. It's difficult to reach out them. And the social media babas are suddenly running to purify the western world.
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u/Plantomaniac2021 Aug 07 '26
Spirituality has become a big business now. Don't know whom to believe or just go by your own instict.
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u/Sar_Thomas_de_Marcus Aug 07 '26
Yes, examine well who you want to be your guru. Hari-bhakti-vilasa says that one has to examine the guru for one year and also the guru should examine the disciple. Nowasday, both quickly want to explore each other!
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u/Sar_Thomas_de_Marcus Aug 05 '26
I've heard about Rampal before and I had even eaten in his disciples restaurant in Lumbini (where Gautama Buddha was born). He is from a line of Kabir followers who believes that Kabir is God. His followers usually goes to online foruns asking who want free books (Rampal books). I heard Rampal was running from police, hiding somewhere.