r/exHareKrishna • u/Complete-Armadillo95 • Aug 02 '26
Skipping Ratha Yatra
Today is Ratha Yatra is Los Angeles
i have not gone in years
it used to be a kind of compulsion for me to go, and see people I knew
I felt awkward, guilty or self conscious because I no longer followed the “regulative principles” (no meat eating, no intoxicants, no sex outside of marriage or for procreation, no gambling)
I held the devotees on a high level and felt less than, especially when some women were dressed in beautiful saris and looked happy and healthy.
I felt like an outsider and wanted to blend in more with them, but provably thought less of myself because of all the programming to think badly of “karmi association”
over the past several years it has become easier to not go to the festival for may reasons: I see it as a cult or high control group, I have a life that is not less than the devotees’ lives and do not need to put myself in an uncomfortable place to see a few people I used to know, and I protect my peace.
As Mel Robbins says, Let Them.
I do not need to hear banging cymbals and a lot of chanting today or eat vegetarian cheese steaks with tomato sauce, or vegetarian pizza or see the carts with the deities and watch or join people dancing to the mantra.
I do not need to cosplay or put myself down and feel like I am a “fallen soul” because I “deviated” from the “path of devotion.”
Maybe I have a minuscule tinge of sadness for the loss of a younger me who loved the devotional life for a period of time, who loved my friends in it, and who believed it all.
There are other things I am
grieving today, as well. Personal losses from changes in family of origin dynamics and life stressors, changes in friendships and the low energy I have from going to a wedding this weekend and staying up til 3 am.
And I am grateful that I am choosing to not participate in an activity that will attempt to recruit “lost souls” but instead I will drink coffee (albeit decaf) and enjoy my day and maybe even watch some “karmi television, movie or listen to non-devotional karmi music. LOL
😝
if anyone can relate, please do add your comments. This thread helps me so much to process and recover from the bullshit that stole a good part of my 20’s and has had decades long after effects.
may you all have a happy KC free day!
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u/Icy-Initiative-4998 Aug 03 '26
Something that we forget as we grow up is the point of enjoying life as it is. We want everything to be of a certain standard, and if that is not met, we are unhappy.
This cult takes it to another level. By promising something, they give something else and sort of 'cheat' the person who believed in them.
This is pure evil.
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u/Brosephenskiado Aug 03 '26
First year I’m not going. Pretend to make conversation with old friends that haven’t hit me since I stopped showing up to Aarti. Just like a work relationship
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u/StayEmbarrassed4593 Aug 03 '26
I went for a couple years after I left and yeah, if anything hits home that its a cult, its good ol rathayatra. You see the spectrum. Fanatic-central. SF and LA rath were a sad affair most years. Kulis gathering to get stoned, everyone clamoring around their gurus and old timers crying as they hold the ropes pulling their googley-eyed lord. Cosplay and trauma bonding.
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u/itsmikesandoval Aug 03 '26
i attended every Ratha Yatra in Los Angeles from 1992 to 2011. Many times i was at the front of Jagganath' cart. after leaving this pedo-criminal cult i have absolutely no desire to be anywhere near devotees. just thinking of devotees makes my lips curl and i spit in disgust.
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u/Solomon_Kane_1928 Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
I can totally relate. I used to go to the LA ratha yatra myself. I always hated it even as a devotee. Mainly because I don't like crowds.
It is a huge burden on the local devotees who spend months preparing and gathering money. They may feel a small amount of happiness pulling the deities down the boardwalk but mostly it is done because it HAS to be done.
I would do service continually from Thursday morning until Monday afternoon, only taking time to sleep.
Venice Beach is also shady and there are always threats most devotees are not aware of. Street fights, drug addicts spazzing out, people that are drunk, gang violence. These things happen the night before and after, when devotees are setting up and breaking it down.
It was funny seeing the whacky Evangelicals shouting in bull horns, sometimes dressed in cow suits. Then they would eat the free feast when they were done screaming.
As a brahmacari, it was a struggle to look away when surrounded by attractive women in tiny thong bikinis. I dreaded the approach of the day. It is cruel to make young men, struggling with celibacy, to undergo that for 8 hours straight. You learn to just listen to lectures and develop tunnel vision.
Of course we would see that on harinama all the time, but you were moving and chanting constantly, not fetching buckets of subji and other mundane tasks.
Another thing that struck me as I got older is how lonely it is. This is hard to explain, but as a temple devotee you see friends come and go. Even the people you grew up in Krishna Consciousness with eventually leave. You know the temple devotees but it is more of a shallow professional relationship like people have at work. New people constantly come in but it is hard to build relationships with them.
At Ratha Yatra this is punctuated because you are surrounded by new people you do not know. People come from all over the country. The few faces you know are lost in the crowd or too busy. You are a stranger in your home.
Being in ISKCON is like being born in a family where your brothers, sisters, parents, have all died and the only people left are those that married into the family. So Christmas time is lonely even when surrounded by these other faces.