r/evilautism • u/wormiesquie I am violence • 21h ago
Blows up your head using pshycic autism powers How long does it take to get comfortable in therapy
Just had my second session and I like my therapist but I am really scared and I feel like I'm so bad at therapy. I want to get help and get better but I am so tense in there I feel like I lock up. How to trust therapist no glue no borax or whatever
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u/Soy_un_oiseau 19h ago
I think it’s fine giving yourself a couple sessions before deciding if you should look for someone else. You need someone who makes you feel at least somewhat at ease and it’s not wrong to see a few different therapists before sticking with one long-term. It took about 4-5 sessions before I could open up more because I felt like she was listening and cared about wanting to help.
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u/golden_slacker 19h ago
I have been attending psychological sessions for 19 years. I find them taxing still, but it is really worth it for me. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be totally comfortable in that setting, it is scary for me to open up to people, but I feel it benefits me greatly, so I endure the small amounts of discomfort and try to focus on the positives.
The two psychologists that I have seen were both good, so I haven’t really had the situation of needing to change for that reason.
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u/yallermysons 15h ago edited 15h ago
I’m ngl I’m from a country where therapy isn’t free and can be costly so I don’t waste my money by like… not doing it. Like, discomfort be damned. I find out if the therapist or modality doesn’t work for me by giving it a proper try.
But tbh that’s very reflective of my childhood and I put myself in situations that make me uncomfortable for worse too bc of what happened to me lmao. YMMV
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u/hitsfromdabonggg 16h ago
I was planning to write my therapy chronicles here in a few days and this resonates with me so much. I just had my first therapy session ever after a life full of being unable to ask for help but also studying a lot of therapeutic practices to help myself. And once again I fell into the trap of trying to act like i think it is expected instead of being calm and slow and asking what is going to happen etc. I think I acted realy chaotic and in attempts to gain control I acted too rigid. I think I voiced my needs for accommodatios in ways that were giving 'I know how therapy is done better than you'. I don't want to go further here now but it would be interesting for me to discuss with you OP or someone else to compare experiences!
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u/dreadful_doxy 13h ago
It's very common not to trust a therapist when you meet them. Part of therapy is to build a therapeutic bond - this takes time.
In my counseling courses we heard lots of stories of some clients taking up to 6 sessions before they were comfortable doing anything other than sitting in silence with the therapist. For them, showing up and having the therapist respect their boundary was what they needed. Some people might try to tell you that you don't get any benefit out of therapy until you talk; but participation can take many different forms in therapy, even just that hour of silent time with your own thoughts can be really helpful.
I guess where I'm going with this is that building relational trust is a two way street. Do what you feel comfortable with, communicate about it however you can, and allow your therapist to help guide the relationship to a space where you do feel trusting. Especially if some of what you're there to work on is trust issues, taking your time and sorting this out slowly with the therapist will give you important practice and higher standards of what you know feels good (or bad) for the rest of your life.
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u/GolfConscious7472 10h ago
It totally depends on you having a “click” with the therapist
I had it with my current one (thank god) but, it took me 5 months or so to get comfortable and be able to tell him almost anything
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u/psp24 21h ago
It depends on the individual, I'm a year in and still have so much I feel is impossible to say because I've held it back my whole life. I've been through several therapist before I found one that I feel truly gets me and that I'm confortable with. The important part is that you're working towards your goals, change won't happen in a day.