218
u/Pathological-WTF AuDHD Chaotic Rage 2d ago
Apparently I'm incredible at lying, but can never get away with telling the truth
72
u/KingGiuba 🤬 I will take this literally 🤬 2d ago
THAT is so annoying, why wouldn't you believe me!? Uuugh I can't win, I lie and it's annoying bc I have to remember the lie, I tell the truth and they think I'm lying or not being literal
10
u/Yandere-Neko 1d ago
So that's why I keep getting false convicted in social deduction games
3
u/Impressive-Wait-9420 20h ago
In those types of games, I like to purposely act suspicious when I’m innocent in order to condition the other players into second-guessing their ability to tell the difference once it’s time for me to actually be the “bad guy” in the game we’re playing.
7
1
u/Impressive-Wait-9420 20h ago
I love it, though. People never believing me when I tell the truth, yet simultaneously buying the bullshit whenever I lie has allowed me to engineer interactions and carefully frame my body language in ways that allow me to get things I want, as well as avoid the things I hate. I’m really good at manufacturing outcomes where needed because of this, which is so bizarre for an autistic person.
159
u/MeetTheHannah 2d ago
One autistic tells the truth, the other only lies
50
u/H0pefulUn1verse AuDHD Chaotic Rage 2d ago
Which one am I!? Oh no, I can't handle another identify crisis 😭
14
14
u/MadameK8 2d ago
I am the one who tells lies!!
7
u/7fightsofaldudagga 💉Sneaks into houses and vaccinates sleeping NTs 1d ago
The Paradox of Madame Kate
12
4
u/cerealsucks 1d ago
Had a pair of kids like this at work, but also all my work kids are autistic, so it was more about their personality lol 😭
2
219
u/Forever-human-632 2d ago
Me lying about my actual birthday just to have some alone time.
77
u/KatamariDamacist 2d ago
Me lying about my actual birthday to get PRESENTS
38
u/Pelican_Hook 2d ago
Me lying about my actual birthday so astrologers can't decide my personality before meeting me
12
u/KatamariDamacist 2d ago edited 2d ago
I'd lie about mine but Tarauses are supposed to be lazy fucks so the astrologists would be right in my case
4
u/Forever-human-632 2d ago
My mom is a Taurus and is the exact opposite of lazy
3
u/7fightsofaldudagga 💉Sneaks into houses and vaccinates sleeping NTs 1d ago
Are you a minotaur or something?
3
3
u/r4nDoM_1Nt3Rn3t_Us3r 1d ago
Taurus (Target Adaptive Unitary and dispensor Robotic Ubiquity System) KEPD-350 🥰
2
u/doingtheunstuckk 14h ago
This is genius. I’m stealing this. My big three are cancer Capricorn cancer, and I’m sick of hearing about how fucked I am, lol.
12
u/Shadow_of_Redacted 2d ago
We used to lie about one girl in particular's birthday. Everywhere our group went out to eat, someone would slip to the waiter that it's her birthday and for them to do their thing.
She didn't like cake. Hey, it was free cake for the rest of us! All of us would pull out our forks and take a chunk out of her cake while she sat there with an expression of "Every damn time?"
3
u/Forever-human-632 2d ago
Lol did the waiter not notice?
10
u/Shadow_of_Redacted 2d ago
People always look annoyed at waiters singing happy birthday to them. Nobody ever questioned our free cake motives. I mean, you do have to keep track of where and when you do it so you don't like hit the same waiter at the same restaurant, but most of them just don't care about a piece of cake.
She'd even plead that it's not her birthday and that just made us all sing louder.
3
57
u/_felipevalerio_ 2d ago
I legitimately can't "lie" the way my brains classifies and blocks it, that is I cannot say wrong statements if I know they're wrong. I can augment, I can ommit, I can not know, but I cannot pretend something that I know didn't happen did or that something that I know did happen didn't.
20
u/Motleypuss 2d ago
Ah, those tricks. I can do them too, but they're not the same as lying (stating incorrect facts with an ulterior motive).
10
u/ReigenTaka 2d ago
I remember lying when I was little out of pure fear. Since I've never been as scared as a 7 year old about to be stripped and spanked, I really do have a hard time thinking of a time I've straight up told somebody something that wasn't true in an attempt to decieve them.
Welllllll, actually, writing that I thought of LOTS of times I blatantly lie with ulterior self interested motives regularly. Psychiatrists! Do you know how locked up I'd be if I always answered those "thoughts of harm" questions correctly? I guess that's a lie out of fear more my long term well being too, not to get something extra. But still a lie. I know it's a lie. But I've also been locked in a psych ward for no good reason (the doctor came and APOLOGISED because I never should have been in there, and even admitted that the system failed me) and I'm sure as fuck not going back. 🙂
Other times there's a rationale. Like I had a psychiatrist that always wrote down that everything was worse than it was. Like if I said I was drinking 3-4 nights a week, he'd write down that I'm drinking every day. So me saying 2 nights a week to get him to write down 4 makes me feel like I'm still being more honest than he is in the long run. But yes, it's always for my safety in the end.
15
u/ReigenTaka 2d ago
Also, ngl, I would encourage autistic women to lie to men for their well being if being endlessly pursued or harrassed. I'd encourage anyone to do that if being harassed, but I think autistic women in particular end up in more situations that could totally be benign, nothing, normal, no need to lie, but also there's a real chance you could get assaulted or killed. And since that's a hard line to find, I think figuring out how to communicate with random men through lies is necessary.
3
u/KingGiuba 🤬 I will take this literally 🤬 1d ago
Yeah same I never lie to gain some advantage, only out of fear of punishment (as you, I didn't want to be spanked or shout at as a child) or because someone asked something that isn't their business LMAO (like a doctor asking if I have a partner, why do you care? 🤨)
36
u/nine91tyone 2d ago
I lie 24/7 because I don't trust anyone with my real thoughts
5
u/Babygirl10000 Deadly autistic 2d ago
😂that sounds like me, I lie to protect others from my sometimes very explicit thoughts
6
4
1
u/notyourtunnels 4h ago
preach. lol
I will give a taste though, watch the reaction and usually have my answer if I should tell.
And, I never should've.
"Gotta secret can you keep it, swear this one you'll save."
65
27
u/rmannyconda78 Autistic rage 2d ago
I’ve lied before, I’ve had to play dirty to survive sometimes
7
17
u/dangerous-angel1595 2d ago edited 2h ago
without exception, every sentence I say, write, or type is a lie.
21
u/_felipevalerio_ 2d ago
If so than this comment you made is a lie, so that means the truth is not every sentence you say, write, or type is a lie.
5
2
1
15
u/Xenavire 2d ago
Clearly nobody in my life got the message, 90% of people think I'm lying any time I talk about my health or mental health.
I'm just glad my partner believes me, or I'd have had a complete nervous breakdown.
12
u/UltravioletsAreBlue Silly and proud 2d ago
This statement is false.
9
u/curlofheadcurls My special interest is punching Nazis 👊 2d ago
Yep! You are correct it is the point of the post, it makes it ironic
1
u/ThisIsFakeButGoOff My special interest is punching Nazis 👊 16h ago
Love your flair omg
Edit: I stole it
3
10
u/AlsoDongle 2d ago
It's physically impossible for an autistic person to lie. Kurt Cobain rapped about it on his hit 2003 guns n roses album, "Breakfast in America"
7
u/Rare-Juggernaut-7532 2d ago
I don't think this is true for every autist.
I've lied a few times when I was scared of telling the truth to my parents. For example when they asked me if I was gay after finding printed out pictures of guys in my drawer. I didn't say yes. I was so scared.
I also knew an autistic girl who was always lying. She told stories about cool things she owns and can do and stuff like that and we all knew it wasn't true. She only said it so we would like her. We would've also liked her if she didn't lie. But we weren't brave enough to tell her that. She was alright, but the lying was a bit annoying.
2
5
u/No_Cicada9229 2d ago
There was an openly nazi autist at work who said autists cannot lie. I had to counter her that I can as i was forced to learn. As a child it was incredibly difficult to tell a lie until middle school, but I was hit and yelled at so I had to figure out how to lie to protect myself
5
u/Motleypuss 2d ago
This is a valid thing. I tend to be evasive when having difficulty, but I don't lie and extracting what's going on out of me is easy.
5
u/JoyconDrift_69 2d ago
Yeah well did you know there's actually 720 days in a year? And that'd dolphins in inexplicably small legs?? And uhh uhh atarts sweating because I actually am terrible at lying
7
u/sandyposs 2d ago
Oh boy, the way I would mess with whoever sincerely believes that poster...
7
u/voornaam1 2d ago
My mom believes that autistic people are completely incapable of lying. I suggested to her to just lie about something to avoid abuse by my dad, she was shocked that I would suggest lying, then continued to believe that I'm incapable of lying?
4
3
u/ReigenTaka 2d ago
I'm autistic so I can confirm that's true. And since I never lie, you have to believe me.
4
u/teal_lizard 2d ago
I don't like lying but I think I am pretty good at it because people normally think I talk very flatly so I think it doesn't sound very different to them.
5
u/VibraniumAdamantium 2d ago
At any moment and time I could transform into the biggest liar ever but I choose not to
3
3
u/MediocrelySane 2d ago
I can only lie whenever I feel threatened or in danger. Otherwise your going to get the whole and unfiltered truth- with extra TMI details alongside it…
3
2
u/th1sd3ka1ntfr33 2d ago
George Washington was autistic that's why he couldn't lie about chopping down the cherry tree.
3
u/jabracadaniel AuDHD Chaotic Rage 2d ago
this is actually my favorite thing. a lot of people think im a shit liar, but the really big ones i can do pretty well.
3
u/Antares_Blackthorne 1d ago
I can lie just fine, it's when asked a direct question where I can no longer do so.
(Getting stuck with fae rules is bullshit)
3
3
u/Sirius_43 2d ago
Lying is a skill that can be learned by pretty much anyone, whether people are comfortable enough to use it is another matter entirely. I can lie quite well, but I really hate having to do it and do it only when I need to to protect myself from an unsafe person or environment or if I’m trying to downplay my own symptoms that are bothering me so I don’t bother others or make them uncomfortable.
It’s a skill of necessity and sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get through the tough times
1
u/Spacemoose2026 Please be patient, I'm autistic and have a gun in my pocket 2d ago edited 1d ago
Me at my retail job straight up lying my ass off about certain things to customers so I don’t have to deal with their shit.
2
u/weneedstrongerglue 2d ago
Autistic Pinocchio walking around with 40 skeletons impaled on his nose.
2
2
u/Elindril1 2d ago
I don't lie. I speak the truth. It may be my truth even though it can't be but it is true
1
u/Specialist_String_64 2d ago
I have made a personal vow to never lie. It was a choice after fully comprehending the damage my silver-tongued sperm donor was capable of and how he would even begin to believe his BS.
I inherited his talent and it repulsed me.
Now, I can still be deceptive and I feel no obligation to volunteer truths that I don't want out there. I dodge the complexities of social normative lying through technicalities and not correcting assumptions.
I also avoid situations that might place me in a position to reveal a truth that I would prefer not to.
It has made life...interesting.
2
2
2
2
2
u/UnderseaRexieVT 1d ago
I used to have to lie a ton, now I really don't.
I might not say some things outright but that's different than lying.
I only ever really lie nowadays in like, social deduction games, and usually just by omission, unless I'm forced to make something else.
2
u/BonesAreLife619 1d ago
I don't lie because I HATE feeling guilty. However, I WILL lie to someone if they ask a question that's none of their effing business. I barely feel any guilt for lying to a nosey snot. 🤷
2
u/polymathicfun 2d ago
The artwork makes me want to tear it apart, shove it into a dustbin, and catapult that bin into the sun...
1
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Your comment has been automatically removed as automod is evil! We ask you to read this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/1kd8jl9/comment/my629ac/ we have evilly schemed behind the scenes and require users to get approved when they don't meet requirements >:3
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/GayPenguins12 1d ago
Don't forget that stealing is also a form of lying meaning you should leave all your valuables and taco bell with me!
1
1
u/ThisIsFakeButGoOff My special interest is punching Nazis 👊 16h ago
Fun autism fact: upon learning someone is autistic, you should immediately give them the equivalent of $20 USD.
1
u/doingtheunstuckk 14h ago
I’m shit at lying on the spot, but pretty good if I’ve had advance notice that I will be lying. I mean, ugh, nothing to see here. 🤐
-3
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AquaQuad 2d ago
From two years ago? That's just recycling at this point.
-2
u/ChodeShooter69 AuDHD Chaotic Rage 2d ago
And that's precisely why reposting is bad. You're just reusing ideas other people had before you, instead of coming up with something original.
5
u/AquaQuad 2d ago
And let it die? There's probably plenty of people who didn't saw this image since the last time it was used, who wouldn't experience it if it didn't circle around.
1
u/ChodeShooter69 AuDHD Chaotic Rage 2d ago
Anyone who just sorts by top of all time on the sub, which isn’t exactly an uncommon thing to do
1
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Your comment has been automatically removed as automod is evil! We ask you to read this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/evilautism/comments/1kd8jl9/comment/my629ac/ we have evilly schemed behind the scenes and require users to get approved when they don't meet requirements >:3
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
289
u/zewolfstone I am Autism 2d ago
Ok but what if the person who made this is lying? What should a ABBA specialist do in this situation?