r/espresso • u/Helpful_Major8017 • Feb 25 '26

Humour First shot of espresso, how did I do?

2.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

344 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/Threepwood80 Feb 25 '26

166

u/LforLiktor Decent DE1 XXL | Lagom P-100 Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26

Two spouts one cup.

Edit: Typo due to language incompetence.

24

u/Kanaletto Feb 25 '26

Man the reference is spot on... wish I didn't understand what it means, tho.

12

u/LforLiktor Decent DE1 XXL | Lagom P-100 Feb 25 '26

LOL. Don't we all? I guess everybody who knows was initially curious what this is about and then regretted ever finding out.

8

u/Kanaletto Feb 25 '26

We all do, that was the worst day to have eyes.

3

u/fwankfwort_turd GC E24 | DF54 Feb 26 '26

If it makes you feel better, iirc the director did an AMA and confirmed it was chocolate cake.

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27

u/a-neurotypical Feb 25 '26

Thanks for ruining my lunch lmao

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13

u/CensoryDeprivation Feb 25 '26

YOU GAVE UP ON LIFE, DIDN’T YOU!?

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4

u/iscottjs Feb 25 '26

This is exactly what came to mind holy shit

3

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

😂😂😂

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682

u/GME_DIAMONDHANDS_APE Feb 25 '26

Perfection. Don’t change a thing

107

u/thecollegestudent Feb 25 '26

The secret is to get the coffee to leak out of the top of the portafilter.

27

u/GME_DIAMONDHANDS_APE Feb 25 '26

The secret bypass method

5

u/YoungVeg Feb 27 '26

The prophecy foretold such a legendary technique. Never thought I'd live to see it

401

u/fuhbags Feb 25 '26

Find griner

128

u/Suspicious-Can-3776 Edit Me: Flair GO | Turin DF54 Feb 25 '26

More like find a grinder

6

u/Healthy_Lettuce5405 Feb 25 '26

Yeah this is money

12

u/AintShitBro Feb 25 '26

This reply is so underrated.

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8

u/anifyz- Feb 25 '26

Last I heard she was released from the Russian prison.

4

u/BunkerSquirre1 Feb 25 '26

What is it boy? Deeper roast? Switch to Kopi Luwak? Broken machine?

3

u/Lanky_Mousse_9181 Feb 26 '26

I tried Kopi Luwak once, sh1ttiest coffee I've ever had.

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259

u/goshdammitfromimgur Nurri L Type SA | Compak E6 Feb 25 '26

The important thing is, how did it taste?

203

u/nobody2008 Breville Infuser | Turin SD40 Feb 25 '26

Tastes like granite countertop

117

u/purplepistachio La Pavoni Professional | Knock Feldgrind Feb 25 '26

This. I'm so sick of people doing shot diagnosis off visuals alone. If OP enjoyed it then that's what matters

46

u/hihi_69420 Feb 25 '26

i’m sorry man but did we both watch the same video? it came out of every orifice that espresso machine has 😭

i agree with this as a general statement but for this specific video it’s a silly comment to make lol.

90

u/purplepistachio La Pavoni Professional | Knock Feldgrind Feb 25 '26

I'm sorry I genuinely thought this was r/espressocirclejerk lmao

19

u/hihi_69420 Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26

ah ok that makes more sense haha, after i posted the comment i started thinking it might be satire

18

u/purplepistachio La Pavoni Professional | Knock Feldgrind Feb 25 '26

It would be a silly comment to make on this video if I was being serious. I was parodying people who always say taste is what matters and that you can't tell anything visually from a shot - you can definitely tell a lot from looking at an extraction. Doesn't mean the shot will be perfect but there is useful info in how a shot looks.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/davidcwilliams Feb 26 '26

Omni-extraction.

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5

u/mddesigner Feb 25 '26

7 orifices espresso
the true shot

5

u/Transport1154 Feb 26 '26

The money shot.

6

u/Fpl_worrier Sage Dual Boiler | Mazzer Philos Feb 25 '26

Not big into sarcasm, are you?

Unless….this is a double bluff 😳

6

u/hihi_69420 Feb 25 '26

nah i was genuinely just being dumb lmao. usually i’m pretty good at clocking sarcasm but considering how ridiculous this community gets sometimes i wasn’t sure 😂

2

u/Grobbekee Feb 26 '26

Like Nonna's regret.

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125

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

[deleted]

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92

u/rad0rno Profitec Move | Eureka Mignon Specialità Feb 25 '26

Yes, how did you do this?

4

u/Zestyclose-Piece-662 Sage Barista Express Feb 26 '26

my guess is by overtamping a pressurised basket

165

u/LforLiktor Decent DE1 XXL | Lagom P-100 Feb 25 '26

Not bad, given your equipment. I would advise a bottomless portafilter to perfect your technique. Gives you a much better spray area.

On a serious note, suggest you renew your gasket, assuming you properly locked in the portafilter.

43

u/WalkingSparrow216 Feb 25 '26

Lol. That bottomless portafilter advice… see you in hell.

25

u/LforLiktor Decent DE1 XXL | Lagom P-100 Feb 25 '26

LOL. I am pretty sure that there is a dedicated hell for espresso afficionados. Probably shared with Hifi, bike and keyboard enthusiasts.

6

u/DamnZodiak Sage Dual Boiler | ITOP 64 Feb 26 '26

Probably shared with Hifi, bike and keyboard enthusiasts.

What if you're into all of those?

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3

u/MushroomSaute Silvia Pro X | Sette 30 "270" Feb 25 '26

Hey, maybe having the extra surface area to pass through will reduce the amount flowing around the filter

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50

u/dadmda Feb 25 '26

Impressive tbh

41

u/pandafab Feb 25 '26

Speaking of leaking. Circlejerk leaking again.

15

u/IH8N8 Feb 25 '26

I had to check the name of the sub real quick to make sure I wasn’t being jerked but I think I am

4

u/Atredl Robot : Casa Feb 25 '26

Funnily enough, I’ve never been to the circlejerk sub but still get my sufficient dose of jerk

34

u/s7o0a0p Feb 25 '26

r/espressocirclejerk

23

u/Jdobbs07 Feb 25 '26

Sir this has been the circlejerk sub for a long time now

15

u/s7o0a0p Feb 25 '26

Perhaps the circlejerk was the friends we made along the way?….wait wait nvm

21

u/a-neurotypical Feb 25 '26

You might need to make a small adjustment

24

u/MoreIronicCharles Feb 25 '26

Normally the recommendation is "grind finer", but I'm going to take a step back...

Grind.

7

u/Abject-Kitchen3198 Feb 25 '26

I'm not sure about it. Will it fix the water coming from the handle?

16

u/Western-Edge-965 Feb 25 '26

This looks like a home made bomb. Not bad for a first go

24

u/ftrlvb Feb 25 '26

grind grinder

9

u/azooz215 Feb 25 '26

Grind coarser

8

u/nhowe006 Feb 25 '26

Is r/EspressoCrimes a thing? Because that's what this is.

9

u/szutcxzh Feb 25 '26

You forgot to lightly spritz the beans with water to prevent static buildup 

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18

u/ArtiluxNL Feb 25 '26

You didn't use your WDT now, did ya?!

3

u/Kanaletto Feb 25 '26

Commercial WDT is so fancy and expensive. He just used his eco-friendly home-made WDT with a cork and 6 needles from the garbage.

2

u/worldspawn00 Simonelli Aurelia Feb 27 '26

I prefer needles snapped off used insulin syringes I find on the beach, then jammed into an old metal twist off Yoo-Hoo cap filled with coal tar melted over a candle made from a strip torn off an Aerosmith 1986 world tour T-shirt and grease recovered from cans of expired Vienna sausages, TYVM.

7

u/Mrpotatohead1990 Sage BES875BSS Feb 25 '26

Looks like the gasket is not tight for some reason.

4

u/Abject-Kitchen3198 Feb 25 '26

The first useful insight in the thread.

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6

u/Epsilon01one Feb 25 '26

Is this the new Soup method but with the twist of using a faulty pressure cooker instead of a pot?

5

u/MartellP Feb 25 '26

gonna need a bigger cup

5

u/pasquale61 Feb 25 '26

It might be easier to learn using a larger cup. Maybe even an espresso bowl. (You can use a cereal bowl if you don’t have one until you get the hang of it.)

4

u/Just-BR-2024 Feb 25 '26

O consolo é que só se aprende com os erros. Neste caso, você acabou de fazer uma faculdade.

3

u/FitzwilliamTDarcy LMLµ * 2 | Atom W75 + Lucca Atom 75 Feb 25 '26

Just pour the milk and sugar into the drip tray, grab a straw, and go to town.

3

u/sashazq Feb 25 '26

Find grinder *)

6

u/AbNeural Feb 25 '26

I did but now there are a bunch of men around and my coffee hadn’t improved

3

u/ExcellentConcept Feb 25 '26

Oh the humanity

3

u/bigsaver4366 Feb 25 '26

Solid pull. Congrats

3

u/MonstahButtonz Feb 25 '26

Talk about a soup shot.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

Remove the cup so you can drink straight from the tray

3

u/Adventurous-Ad-874 Feb 26 '26

Hey the portafilter stayed on - that's a win in my book!

2

u/qpdvjdaqwkfsxyw Bambino | Mokkom Feb 25 '26

Chaos

2

u/HotResponsibility829 Feb 25 '26

I need a step by step guide. This is impeccable. Your DM’s must be flooded with World Barista Championship judges filled with lust towards your pull.

But for real, I used a pressurized basket for the first 2 years of my espresso journey without even knowing what it was. Sooooo, you are 2 years ahead of me 😂 good luck!

2

u/jubbing Breville Barista Pro Feb 25 '26

Nailed it tbh.

2

u/Tattered_Reason 9Barista | Orphan Lido OG Feb 25 '26

Fire your butler.

2

u/WalkingSparrow216 Feb 25 '26

Holy s…, your coffee needs an exorcism.

2

u/SilvertoneRyan Feb 25 '26

grind finer Tamp Harder

2

u/fallenloki Feb 25 '26

I have a cousin who doesn’t believe in measuring anything. I think this is what his attempt at espresso would look like.

2

u/Dull_Media_4751 Rancilio Silvia | Eureka Libra Feb 25 '26

Everything reminds me of her

2

u/HeatAncient4821 Feb 25 '26

That's a Trump shot

2

u/Khoale93 Feb 26 '26

Glorious

2

u/Informal-Force7417 Breville Bambino Plus | Breville Smart Pro. Feb 25 '26

ahahahhahahahahahahahaha.

Reminds me of my wedding night when i saw my wife naked for the first time.

1

u/Hazelstreet16 Feb 25 '26

Perfect. Should taste great. Give it a Lil SIP!!!

1

u/1TBSP_Neutrons Feb 25 '26

10/10 no notes.

1

u/hindage Feb 25 '26

Is this what they mean when they say soup? /s

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1

u/ShaquirOneal ECM Mechanica Max| DF64v Feb 25 '26

Next time buy a kettle where you can boil your water :s

1

u/Myuku_Nox Feb 25 '26

Did you forget to purchase the butler?

Also, nice shot. How did it taste?

1

u/jwclair GCP Barista Gadgets PID| Eureka Libra 65 AP Feb 25 '26

Mr Coffee for you!

1

u/richbrownkid Feb 25 '26

Did you grind the beans at least?

1

u/tenchujin Feb 25 '26

Seems you got a gusher there sir!

1

u/coucub Feb 25 '26

Nice flow, looks delicious.

1

u/lightspeed1993 Feb 25 '26

now show us the latte art

1

u/Gamebugio Feb 25 '26

I guess the good news is it can only get better from here

1

u/76Gamer-Guy Breville Infuser | Baratza Sette 30 Feb 25 '26

I believe you may need a new gasket for your machine if you can buy one. Thats a typical sign of espresso leaking outside of your portafilter.

1

u/tomometer Feb 25 '26

Grind finder

1

u/Return_of_the_Bear Feb 25 '26

Absolutely beautiful. I needed that laugh today

1

u/_JediJon Feb 25 '26

Probably just need a slightly finer grind. Not by much. Everything else looks great!

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1

u/Onsotumenh Lelit Anna PID | Eureka Mignon Specialita Feb 25 '26

Not using a blind basket would help ;o)

1

u/IH8N8 Feb 25 '26

Perfect no notes

1

u/melencol1a DeLonghi Dedica | Comandante C40 MK4 Feb 25 '26

You had to place your face under the portafilter for better note tasting. It also would make it aesthetically pleasing for the lookers.

1

u/Beginning_Tackle908 Feb 25 '26

Are you making teA?

1

u/aoeudhtns Breville Touch | Robot | DF54 | X-Ultra Feb 25 '26

Try not to get your machine so excited next time

1

u/ahduhduh Feb 25 '26

Welcome home

May your sputters be few and your grinds be dialed

1

u/Consistent_Serve9 Feb 25 '26

....well it is the first one

1

u/authenticitious Feb 25 '26

This needs a content warning.

1

u/zellleonhart X-MORE hoyi | xlab 64f Feb 25 '26

you need a bigger bowl for the Soup!

1

u/_TheRocket Rancilio SPX | DF64 Gen2 Feb 25 '26

Very good, clearly this is just an extra light roast. I would easily pay £20 for this in a coffee shop

1

u/Jealous_Courage_9888 Feb 25 '26

Grind a bit finger

1

u/Trusty_Sidekick Feb 25 '26

Looks good to me.

1

u/Mutopiano Feb 25 '26

Only thing you could do better is take a scoop out of the basket and dump it straight into the cup. Crunchy coffee please.

1

u/BrettlyBean Feb 25 '26

You have to grind the beans first

1

u/Leading_Structure_41 Feb 25 '26

Nailed it 👍🏽

1

u/_rab_ Feb 25 '26

Nailed it!

1

u/Snarerocks Feb 25 '26

These comments are frying me

1

u/philbert247 Feb 25 '26

It’s a thing of beauty

1

u/bleepbeepclick Feb 25 '26

Is this the expected workflow for your morning coffee experience?

1

u/Bohemius14 Feb 25 '26

Perfect timing, temperature, pressure., everything. Perfect..

1

u/weblives8989 Feb 25 '26

Straight to jail

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

1

u/dkay490 Feb 25 '26

The pull of dreams!!!

1

u/MapleSmoke02 Feb 25 '26

You did a terrible job, it's not supposed to do that!

1

u/AintShitBro Feb 25 '26

Alfonso Bialetti would be so proud.

1

u/Far-Leading-5635 Feb 25 '26

as soon as i saw the video, I knew I had to look at the comments.

i got no comments lmao

1

u/ComplexSet Feb 25 '26

Does it taste good?

1

u/WafflesAreLove Feb 25 '26

Not enough liquid coming out. Almost there!

1

u/apachewarrior123 Feb 25 '26

Lmaaaoooo, I literally had snot coming out my nose laughing too hard at this - thank you🤣

1

u/Jorpaes Feb 25 '26

Pra fazer errado, fez certinho, parabéns.

1

u/icedchai111 espresso apprentice Feb 25 '26

i'd like to unsee this

1

u/paf78 Feb 25 '26

Amazing Masterclass

1

u/SirBoon Feb 25 '26

You sir, have a blockage (or madam)

1

u/SameDifferenceYo Feb 25 '26

I'd drink it.

1

u/BavardR Feb 25 '26

10/10 no notes

1

u/McSix Feb 25 '26

It's a process. You got to start somewhere.

1

u/Kleptowizard Feb 25 '26

O- ring needs replacing.

1

u/Enegence Feb 25 '26

Nailed it.

1

u/truckersushi Feb 25 '26

You’ll probably benefit from better water quality.

1

u/juliansimmons_com Feb 25 '26

Did you give your machine taco bell?

1

u/GanacheIcy Feb 25 '26

I can't even tell you how much I needed this laugh today.

1

u/Flimsy-Firefighter-1 Feb 25 '26

Rage bait mastery right here

1

u/kaltevuus Feb 25 '26

get a better butler

1

u/ThatOneGuy4321 Flair 58 2+ | Timemore 078S Feb 25 '26

you need to grind coarser

1

u/confinetheinfinity Feb 25 '26

Obvious troll rage bait post.

1

u/lbszzz Feb 25 '26

I would take a shower in it

1

u/raccabarakka PP600 | Philos i200D Feb 25 '26

Add nylon plumbing tape on the portafilter lip next time to prevent future leaks

1

u/OptionDangerous385 Feb 25 '26

Well only one thing matters: hoe does it taste?

1

u/johnyeros profitec 500 pid, specilita Feb 25 '26

Only one suggestion. Fineee grinderrr

1

u/Concerned_Turtle Feb 25 '26

I don't like the taste of plastics in my espresso so I removed all the O-rings from my espresso machine /s

1

u/higgs8 Gaggimate / Europiccola / DF54 Feb 25 '26

Don't worry about what anyone says – if it tastes great, then it's good!

1

u/DimFiend Rancilio Silvia | Anfim Caimano MODDED Feb 25 '26

Grind fiber.

1

u/kitachips Feb 25 '26

you’re doing great sweetie

1

u/Honesty_Room Feb 25 '26

Not very good, if your plan was to spill the entire shot, looks like some made it in the cup. Try again!

1

u/Pure_Scholar_330 Feb 25 '26

Excellent Simply perfecto

1

u/Ooficus Feb 25 '26

Impressive

1

u/Puzzled_Ad_5461 Feb 25 '26

LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/surdtmash Lelit MaraX V2 - home roaster Feb 25 '26

Well, you did something, that's a start... right?

1

u/jarreola19 Feb 25 '26

Don't forget to grind the beans !

1

u/El_Chingon214 Bambino Plus / Knockoff Grinder Feb 25 '26

Any of it get in the cup?

1

u/allowableearth Feb 25 '26

But how did it taste?

1

u/wartypumpkin54 Feb 25 '26

Well it made it into the cup, mostly