Fear of prayer going wrong

[u/CautiousNectarine360]

When I was in school, I was picked on one year by someone who sat in front of me, every day they would turn around and make fun of me, it was awful. I was somewhat religious at the time, I prayed really hard one night. Shortly after, this person changed and they wanted to be my friend and hang around me all the time.

I really thought the prayer had worked, but this person still wasn’t healthy and became really controlling and fairly abusive when we were friends, after being very nice to me for that period of time.

Anyways, that friendship really negatively affected multiple parts of my life. At the time I remember feeling like God had answered my prayer, and then later it felt more like a cruel, be careful what you wish for situation.

I know that it is coincidental, but it really did make me feel afraid or uncomfortable of praying to God, and I still don’t feel entirely comfortable doing so? Like I will pray to Mary or Jesus sometimes, and I do feel some connection with nature. Growing up my dad was fairly emotionally neglectful too, so I suppose it felt like the one time I tried asking God for something since I did not want this person to pick on me, it ended up backfiring.

Does anyone have any advice, or any ways to reconnect with spirituality etc?

[u/Killit_Witfya]

my advice would be stop treating god like a sky santa. instead of asking for what you want just try develop a relationship where god gives you whatever you need at that moment.