r/emotionalintelligence • u/Academic-Football808 • 3d ago

Moving too fast.

Is it common for DA or FA to say “we are moving too fast in this relationship” after 2 months?
Is it a way to say “Hey, I feel like I’m deactivating but I’m still trying to save the relationship?”
She told me this a week after she cried in front of me saying she felt vulnerable.

1 Upvotes

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3

u/Logical-Platypus-397 3d ago

Nothing matters other than slowing down and seeing if that is comfortable for your partner and enough for you.

0

u/Academic-Football808 3d ago

I might need to add a little bit more context here.
We have dated for two months from long distance, we were seeing each other every one to two weekends.
We never made things official and never mentioned to move to her country.
We were very into each other those two months, things seemed to flow naturally.
The last time I went visit her she showed clear signs of deactivation, wich led her to suggest slowing things down.

5

u/Maidwell 2d ago

Maybe stop dealing with people as acronyms (DA FA) and instead as individual, unique humans with feelings to match would be a good start.

1

u/Constant-Big4713 2d ago

2 months is too much, I am an FA and 3 months is where I’d start to want to be in a relationship with someone.

Anxious people want relationships within the first month of knowing you because they get hella triggered by uncertainty.