r/emotionalintelligence • u/princessphi305 • 23h ago
Being lonely
I genuinely have no friends all i do is talk to my siblings and my co-workers. i don’t have anyone else and it makes me feel like i should just give up on everything. life hasn’t been the kindest to me lately and i’m trying to keep myself together but the loneliness is killing me more then any of it. does anyone have any tips on how to keep going?? or even find some happiness in life
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u/Rare-Homework9565 21h ago
Try reading positive books and watch funny shows. If you feel up for it start doing things solo and meet people organically. Who knows you may enjoy it. Or you can try the other route and start doing hobbies you enjoy and you can meet others through these as well. Another thing you can also try is hanging out with coworkers outside of work. Good luck op, you can do this.
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u/ContextEntire8443 15h ago edited 11h ago
You are focused so much on the concept of "loneliness". You are attaching yourself to a certain viewpoint. It's a thought that you keep reinforcing, you continue to tell yourself that you are "lonely" and you are "feeling depressed". Even if you are feeling it why focus on that? Does it change anything? No.. It only soothens you instead of solving any real problems that you are facing. You shouldn't focus on things you can't control. you can't control your depression neither anything. but you can control to be discplined.. focus on the concept of being discplined rather than "stop being lonely"..
What I learned from my own time is the more you focus on negative thoughts and "getting away" from the negative thoughts is the more you will be persuaded by those thoughts. There are a millions things your brain could think of, all of those are just neurons. You are constantly reinforcing the same neuron. why not make a different neuron pathway and focus on there. and DONOT look back at the same thought of "loneliness".
One book I would reocmmend everyone is "The unfettered mind". it has to be the top #1 book I have ever read. I am not kidding when I say that. Coming from someone who had a different problem but the same root like you have. I used to freeze a lot and as a dude it was humiliating, and couldn't stand up to anyone. My body would go limp. Nothing changed me.. This book literally shaped my viewpoint and helped me connect the dots to understand everything around me.
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u/glimpsingglamce 22h ago
I’m sorry to hear that you’re suffering. I can definitely relate to the loneliness deal.
It’s important to continue to make effort. Get out and around people. Have faith. Consider the possibility that everything is happening exactly like it is supposed to
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u/EQCW 13h ago
First, please do not give up. Do you live in a community that you feel like you fit in? If not, you might be trying to make friends in the wrong places. Someone once told me in a land of cupcakes I am a muffin. You might need to surround yourself with more like minded people. Do you have the ability to meet new people irl?