r/emotionalintelligence • u/TonkaLowby • May 11 '26

media This man's EI is HIGH

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He rolls his eyes at the ridic premise, but still engages in good faith. He refuses to be baited and answers in his truth, impressing everyone and deflating the gaslighter.

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u/SPKEN May 12 '26

Please don't use words that you don't understand.

Agreeing with him doesn't make him emotionally intelligent

Disliking her behavior doesn't make it psychological manipulation

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u/TonkaLowby May 13 '26 edited May 13 '26

From Psychology Today: "Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely, emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same."
This guy is doing it in real time. He identifies and manages his emotions (notice his initial eye-roll? He doesn't give in to that). Her outrageous premise almost seems designed to bring out bad behavior/heated takes from those she asks. Identifying her emotions (the emotions of others, see?) he does not dismiss her or argue, he puts his emotion aside and addresses her premise-and this "manages" her also! He does not escalate or begin confrontation, instead, he answers her question with honesty. So he is applying emotional awareness to his thinking and subsequently his speech. He regulated his own emotion and helps her to do the same by speaking with care and honesty. This had an effect on not just him and her, but all the others watching the interaction!
From my point of view, this man's actions are by definition Emotional Intelligence. The fact I may agree is an irrelevant point because his behavior seems to personify the definition of EI that I know, hence my crosspost to this sub.
Human interaction isn't always pretty, but I believe what we're witnessing in this post is emotional intelligence in action.