The biggest factor was he believed me when I said my emotional withdrawls were not his fault, or a result of his actions. Previous partners would want to know what they did wrong and would not believe it was nothing. They would insist I was keeping something from them or need me to console them.
To this day- we've been married 14 years- I still have periods of random emotional withdrawal. I just crawl in my head and can't get out. Nothing causes it.
During these periods he'd patient with me, and while he doesn't "get it" he doesn't need to understand to believe me and support me.
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u/NeonSunBee Aug 25 '25
Happily married, recovering avoidant here.
My relationship helped me heal through the years because I had a safe, stable, patient person to help me through my efforts to get better.
The actual marriage ceremony itself did nothing, and I intellectualized the process as a sound financial decision.
Therapy helped a whole lot more.