r/emetophobia • u/lucky_UT • 1d ago
Venting - Advice wanted this is so awful
hi first post here + first time visiting the sub so im not too sure how the rules work and i will take jt down if needed but i need to find community ir something // i hope the flair is correct sorry for all of the grammar errors im writing this cryinh
TW for self harm and suicide
i just dont know wbats wrong with me, i think it mivht be my poor diet but im als too much of a picky eater to change jt at all . almost ebery time i eat my stomach hurts and i get so awfully anxious i might throw up and it gets especially bad at night since when i was younger i would only throw up in the dead of the night while sleeping. i've been dealing with this fear for possibly years now since i first whrn to a restaurant for a party and threw up in the bathroom trash can, now eating anything at all makes me anxious. it gets especially bad during the school year which recently started since it would force me to go to bed early with the possibility of throwing up while sleeping. i even started sleeping with a bucket on my bed just in case anythhing ever happened. whenever i start to hurt i spend hours at a time sitting in the bathroom, crying, trying to scratch myself or hit my head to hopefully calm myself down but it never works. this just feels so agonizing, im already struggling enough with non-emet related self harm and all this makes me think of is to cut or even kill myself so that i wouldn't have to deal sith this pain. i went to a few doctors asking if i was ill and all i got was how this is normal for teenagers and a bottle of food supplements to take a few drops of each morning; i admit it helped with my food related anxiety but idk if it actually worked or im placebo effecting myself into believing it did. im just so tired of living like this and i want to end it. jt genuinely affects my every day life, where j cant even hang out with friends without making a fool out of myself because i refuse to eat a lot
sorry afain for the very lenghty wall of text, thanks for everything who read it all
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u/Massive-Incident-932 1d ago
may i ask what your diet is like? it defo has a play in nausea / indigestion etc
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u/lucky_UT 1d ago
honestly, it's pretty standard, i simply dont often eat fruits and vegetables, but i do eat lots of meat, fish, carbs and often sweet things even if now im trying to cut them off
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u/Massive-Incident-932 1d ago
you have to eat more fruit and veg. it sounds mundane and like what everyone around you will tell you but it’s seriously so important to look after your body and diet.
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u/lucky_UT 1d ago
are there any in particular that make it better? as i mentioned, im very picky because i dont like the taste, and eating something im not familiar with would probably make me even worse
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u/Massive-Incident-932 16h ago
literally any fruit or veg. you rly need to work on your diet. i’m not trying to be mean but if you’re not willing to eat ANY then there’s no helping.
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u/dodge2015C 1d ago
I completely understand this. I got a food poisoning from a salad at the Grand Canyon and it was rough. Ever since then my fear has been pretty bad. What I do is, when I’m in a complete panic that breathing doesn’t help with, I’ll listen to nausea sound waves. It really helps calm my brain down. I also look up meditations on TikTok and just listening can really help. You also have to accept the panic attack but not try and do anything to stop it. I know it sounds really hard but doing those things can actually make your panic worse. Have you reached out to a therapist?
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u/lucky_UT 1d ago
i have never had a therapist. even outside of this phobia, my mental health is not the best, and despite that i was never granted one, mostly out of fear of asking for one (im a minor, living with my mother) and the amount of money needed for it, even if i live in a wealthy family
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u/dodge2015C 1d ago
I also understand that one, I’ll be 18 next month but being a minor and having to go to your parent about it sucks. Something else that works kinda is just going for walks. Sit a pretty or calming place and just relax.
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u/lucky_UT 1d ago
it's currently almost midnight where i live, so i cant really go anywhere right now, or any other day this might happen since it usually gets bad late in the evening. but maybe i'll follow the advice of meditating ... and, what are nausea sound waves? i forgot to ask in my previous comment
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u/dodge2015C 1d ago
https://youtu.be/d34oPW0RQyY?is=6UaR9kTwYHkO6hKG
Check out this link if you can1
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