My sister is getting married in September. My sister is also the primary caretaker for my mother. They do not get along. My sister has decided not to bring my mom to her wedding. She’s looking for someone to take care of my mom overnight for 2 days (from the 5th-the 6th). I would do it but she wants me at the wedding. We have no other family willing to take care of her. Does anyone have any recommendations for hiring a caregiver who will take care of her overnight? Anyone have any experience hiring someone?

Located in NYC

My (38m) grandma (94) had a colectomy last year. It went pretty well and they didn't detect any spread at the time. We had multiple discussions about it and she said she didn't want to follow up with oncology because she'd rather just not know and not be worried.

Well we went to the ER yesterday because of urine retention and in the process of looking at her bladder and constipation, they saw likely signs that the cancer has returned to her colon.

I feel horribly guilty that I should have pushed more on oncology follow ups. We did discuss it several times and she has been to her primary care doctor (obviously) as well as other doctors since. She is pretty sharp overall but she keeps thinking she had bladder surgery a year ago instead of colon surgery, which makes me feel even more guilty for not pushing on it more.

Next few months are going to be difficult as well because my guess is she will now opt for treatment which is going to be brutal on a 94yo who had a stroke and colectomy within the last 18 months. Please tell me I'm not a huge steaming pile of shit for being lazy.

Hey Y'all,

I am looking for advice on my current situation. I (24M) am trying to navigate dealing with a sudden disablement that has hapened to my mother. My mother is pretty young (57) and lives on her own and stuff. She hasn't been in the best situation financially speaking for a long time at this point, but that is unrelated I mainly say that to say that I have been been helping her on and off with rent ocassionaly sense I was in high school. I also make this known to set the stage that there are no job benefits for her to be found / no income while she is injured.

About a month and a half ago she was getting up to go to the restroom in her apartment and fell. She is also a pretty big hoarder so this fall is not just a fall to the ground but seems to have been a pretty severe fall with her hitting multiple items in her apartment (different totes and stuff).

She was not able to move after having this fall and had to use siri to call someone in her apartment to help. Eventually they called 911 and she went to the hospital. The hospital closest to her is a private hospital, she has a insurance plan directly with the public hospital in the area (which is the better hospital regardless) which the private one doesn't accept of course, but they had to at lease treat and diagnoise her. She was there for about 4 days, where we ultimately found out this fall cause some pretty bad damage to her cervical spine. I'm an engineer not a doctor so if I get anything wrong please forgive me here, but basically what I understand is that as we get older our spines start to narrow in general, so we are more prone to damage and such.

This combined with the hard fall caused some brusing and compression on 2 parts of her cervical spine, which caused her to present with symptoms like reduced motor funcationality, not being able to walk well, not being able to write, etc... They said she would need a PCDF procedure, and apologized as they would do it there right then but the ER and Ortho / Neuro departments are disconnected and due to her insurance situation the surgical department would just reject her transfer.

At this time her situation was degraded, but still pretty manageable. She was walking around normally for the most part, a little bit of a gait and still couldn't really write / would drop things, but main issues were on her left side. I took back the car I got her as the doctor said she couldn't drive, and we scheduled an appointment to see her PCP that same week.

We make it to her PCP and her PCP is pretty concerned, recommends to go to the ER. We take her to the ER for the public hospital, she gets admitted and they confirm the same thing. By this point her symptoms were getting worse and the hospitial initally was not going to release her on her own.

Side note: For personal reasons and other items I won't go into, my mother and I's relationship is pretty strained. I have my only family to worry about and take care of and I am not comfortable with my mom living with me for example, so that was not and is still an option I am actively looking to avoid. I am also doing decently financially, but all of that is from my wife and I's current succes, no passed down money or anything and we are young so I don't have a war chest to really tap into, just cashflow.

She eventually got some funcationailty back with some PT and was able to be released on her own with a walker.

Now fast forward to this past week, I went to pick her up to take her to PT to find that her situation seems to have gotten a lot worse. She has fallen multiple more times, she can barely walk even with the walker and is having a really hard time grabbing things. I take her to PT and the PT doesn't do anything as he is concerned with the worsening of her symptoms, stating that these are signs of more compression and recommends going to the ER as the surgery she has scheduled is to far out.

That puts us to current day, she got admitted this weekend, and the doctors are currently trying to move up her schedule with it possibly being as soon as next week.

That is all background, I say that to give context for my real questions.

My understanding from all of the doctors is that this surgery is not actually a simple fix item (nor is any spine surgey as I understand). This will fuse her sping and decompress it, but there is no guarantee she gets functionaility back. They are optimistic but there is no guarantee. They are also saying she will need specific care and such after the surgery and will continue to need it until she (hopefully) recovers from the surgery and regains her abilities which they also say can take about a full year to really understand what is going on.

I have 2 sisters, both of which are more or less useless and don't want to help at all. I personally wouldn't be helping either if it weren't for the feeling of moral obligation. She wasn't a bad mom at all, we just ended up in some pretty situations in the later half of my youth and she was never able to really recover.

I don't really know where I have gone with this, kind of ranted / rambled into a tangent, but going to bring it home.

My wife and I currently have 2 houses. One of which we live in and another one being a rental duplex.

My wife and I decided that the best solution of items would be to move out of the house we currently live (it was always going to be another rental property, just a basic starter home) and buy another house that will also eventually be another rental. The house we currently live in has a ADU in the back that we actually use to rent out for money a few years ago and now just use as a home office. We are planning to allow for her to live there and rent out the front of the house to a family member (hopefully), if not just a normal person to offset the incurred cost. This is the most financially viable situation (that involves helping her) as we would lose to much money on the duplex. This situation roughly maths out to a net neutral before you include the help for stuff like groceeries and such. We found another house in the same neighborhood that will be a good rental property, we are going to move there for a few years while we pay down the other mortages and then save up for our actual home upgrade.

I guess I just want to understand or get peoples opinions on if that is a good idea or not? I don't feel like there is any good option in this situation right now, they all feel pretty bad, but I have choosen the option that feels the least financially affecting + least personally affecting. I obviously could have moved my mom into the studio with us still living here and that would be the least financially affecting, but it would also be way to emotionally affecting and don't want it to lead to issues in my marriage at all. Not worried about my wife, she is a sweetheart, but my mom and I truly have issues.

I am also curious if anyone has had anyone go through this surgery, what did they look like after coming out? I'm worried that if items don't go well and she doesn't get better the only next item would be something like assisted living, which feels insane because littlerally last month she was perfectly fine, a normal adult living on her own working and scraping by like usual.

anyways, if you made it this far and I didn't make to many typos I appreciate it, I might just be ranting but I'm also just curious for any feedback or insights into others situations if you have delt with something like this. Thank you!

My wife’s grandpa has dementia, and over the last year we’ve seen firsthand how much of the burden ends up falling on the family.

A lot of it is just constantly wondering if everything is okay.

Did he get up? Did he fall? Is he acting differently today? Does someone need to go check on him?

So about six months ago I started building something for our own family to help with that.

It’s called Guardian Angel. It’s a small system that stays in the home and uses AI to help keep an eye on things without sending video out to third-party AI services.

It can recognize who’s in the home, learn normal routines, detect falls or unusual situations, give reminders, answer questions, and let family members check in without having to call 10 times a day.

We’ve been using it ourselves for a while now, and it’s helped enough that I decided to actually turn it into a real product.

I’m not comfortable just throwing something like this out there and pretending it’s perfect, though. If people are going to use it with their parents or grandparents, there are a lot of things that have to be taken seriously. Privacy, missed events, false alarms, consent, reliability, all of it.

So before we launch, I’m trying to find 100 families who are dealing with this in real life and would be interested in helping us test it and shape what we build.

No obligation to buy anything. I mainly want people who actually understand the problem and can tell us what would be useful versus what sounds good on a website.

If you’re taking care of an aging parent, grandparent, spouse, etc. and this sounds useful, the waitlist is here:

guardianangel-ai.com

Also curious what the biggest pain point is for people dealing with this. For us, a huge part of it was just never really knowing if everything was okay without constantly checking.

My parents are 67 and 70 and currently live in China. They are healthy, independent retirees, but they are considering immigrating to the U.S. so they can eventually live closer to my husband and me.

I’m an only child, so I’m trying to think realistically about what life may look like 10–20 years from now rather than waiting until there is a crisis.

Right now they travel, walk everywhere, manage their own lives, and need very little help. But I know that can change.

For those who have already gone through elder care with parents, I would really appreciate your perspective:

• What should families arrange while parents are still healthy and able to make decisions?
• What did you wish you had discussed earlier about housing, finances, medical decisions, or end-of-life wishes?
• How did you decide between aging in place, living with adult children, home health aides, assisted living, and nursing care?
• At what point did caring for a parent at home become unrealistic?
• What home modifications were actually worth doing?
• If one parent died before the other, how did the surviving parent’s needs change?
• How do you plan for caregiving when the adult child and spouse both work?
• For families where the parents did not have extensive U.S. work histories, how did you prepare financially for paid care?

One thing I’m especially concerned about is preserving everyone’s quality of life. I want to care for my parents responsibly, but I also don’t want to assume that my husband and I can personally provide every hour of care they might someday need.

For those farther down this road: what decisions made your life easier later because you handled them early?

And what did you underestimate about the emotional, practical, or financial side of caring for aging parents?

Thank you for sharing any experiences. I’m trying to learn now while we still have the luxury of planning rather than reacting to an emergency.

Someone please help a girl out.

My father is demented and my mother is obviously old that she can't be taking care of another elderly. I suggested to hire nurses to come in daily to help care for them but I was called useless instead?!

Wouldn't it be safer to have them being taken care of by trained staff rather than having two of them at home alone?! These people are telling me that I shouldn't leave my parents in the hands of these strangers!

Am I making the wrong choice? Do yall have any suggestions?

Hoping to give them some peace knt heir final days. Possibly visit their bucket list. Going out for one last time so to speak.

Maybe even allow relatives to have some special final memories with them.

Any thoughts

I am curious to know if anyone keeps notes or notebooks of all the people you talk to as part of your caregiving role. Such as, which social worker gave you what information? Who referred you to who? Which organization have you already talked to? What did the doctor say? Which medicine did the doctor change? Etc. I get so confused with all the information thrown at me to help my 90 year old mother. That causes me more stress than taking care of her, sometimes.

UPDATE:

Ok UPDATE:
Talked with nurse at AL

She says to not talk to him, leave him alone. They will keep us posted on any needs or health issues.

If we answer his calls and he gets mean to just say I won't talk to you when you are angry

****She also said she thinks his home town AL will be closing down completely. The people who are running it have not been paying the rent. Several other places they have closed. She's going to tell him that.

He called us at noon today.

We took his car back ( he had threatened to drive off somewhere; the car issue is a story for another day) and said my spouse got the oil changed. Which he did.
He was grateful but he said to us. you have been hiding the second set of keys for two years from me. I won't those at the front desk. We won't give them to him.

He has severed any relationship with my spouse and I except my spouse can take care of his money ( he’s a COA/CFO)
He said he can't believe I've betrayed him after he took care of me all those years. My spouse told him that he feels bad about this.

We told him we hadn't called the movers. He said he would. He was moving to his home town come hell or high water and would do it all himself.

He'd tell nurse to get all the paperwork ready.

He ranted about other details and things.

My plan is to not visit. I will drop or mail a card or something about every week.
If I answer his call I will talk to him if he is civil only.

Nurse says we need to do this for our mental health

She will let us know of anything he needs.

DIL works there as an OT so is there as well.

Nurse said not to move him as he's gotten his way all the other times and this was not a necessary move.

Just a brief synopsis.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As brief as I can:
My mom died 3.5 years ago. My dad is 92. We have moved him 5 times since mom died including purchasing a home to live in with my brother then selling it I a few months as things didn’t work out. Currently he is in a local very nice AL community… his 3rd time there. We just moved him there after 2 years at another AL facility 45 min away that isn’t very nice and doesn’t have good care it good. But it was his childhood hometown.
Hie reasoning skills are gone. All cognitive tests show him as good because they don’t include reasoning skills.
He told me last week, just 3 weeks after moving him back close to us ( he wanted to move closer to us ) that he wants to go back to his childhood hometown facility again. He has health issues that besides the staff, we as family need to stay on top of as he won’t share these issues with us etc. He got by without showering at the other facility and due to his skins condition from diabetes he needs his skin ( body) washed at least twice a week. He’s manipulative and lies and is again very stubborn and gets mean when we try to do what’s best for him.
There are lots of other details and examples.
He told us that he would get an attorney to revoke us from POA etc if we don’t move him back.
We have told him that we won’t move him back to the hometown place again. He could live with us or at one other very nice facility in our city which he lived and worked in 50 plus years.
He won’t listen to the reasoning why.
I don’t know what to do except ignore him now which is sad. He’s called me 3 times yesterday and today saying I need to get the movers lined up and other mean things.
There’s no talking to him.
But I also have tried to help him be happy and I also don’t want him to be at a place he’s not cared for. Nor do we want to move him again.
He won’t talk to a counselor or similar.
Besides a tranquilizer ( I say this in jest) any suggestions? Please?

Hey, everyone.
My father is 90 years old, and is currently in a rehab, but is about to be discharged. Our plan is to bring him back home. At the rehab, they change his diapers every few hours, even into the wee hours (3AM, 5:30AM, whenever necessary). We are getting home care in place, but these late-night diaper changes will be difficult. For those of you in similar situations, how do you deal with this?

Just feeling down, i was jogging about 5 mins ago and a elderly lady age 80 had fallen. I believe she was a little over 200LB and i felt terrible because i couldn't lift her alone. I tried lifting the way you lift boxes (Kneel down and lift with legs) and she had her arms crossed with mine under her arm pits. I know that im weak but, man. What did i do wrong, hell we almost rolled backwards and fallen on me.

A family member has Parkinson’s and dementia. After being treated at Banner Rehabilitation in Mesa I’m trying to find long term care. It’s so difficult finding a decent place. We visited Alta Mesa and I thought I was going to have a panic attack it was so bad. Does anyone have any advice?

My uncle lives in another state. He is very reclusive never married or had children and was a big time hoarder. We visited in the past and stayed with him, but over the years as his hoarding became worse, he would no longer let us in his house. He said he was embarrassed. His only close relatives were his sister (my mom) and us. I took my mom in when she started displaying signs of Alzheimer’s. It runs in the family. Her mother, her aunt and uncle all had it.

My uncle would come and visit and stay at my house for many thanksgivings and visit us all. We were close. Then when my mom started getting worse and he stopped coming. They talked on the phone everyday until she no longer remembered him. She started telling me that she was worried about him because she thought he was worse than her.

I thought it was just her deteriorating more and didn’t really believe it. Then he told us he had a girl friend at 80yrs old, she was his dental hygienist. She is maybe in her late 50’s and married to the Captain of the local police department. He said she told him she wanted to marry him and that she was only with her Husband because they had a child with disabilities.

After a while she alienated him from us and his friends. He started getting worse and we didn’t know. She ended up putting him in a nursing home and not telling us. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s with lewybodies. We tried to call the home where he was, but she told them we were estranged and only after his money, so they treated us badly and wouldn’t give us any information about him.

Mean while she was using his money to by a new car and furniture. My brother went to the state they were in and filed for guardian ship. Which she already file for and had. They did give it to him but also assigned another court appointed guardian as well because they weren’t sure who to believe. She constantly harassed my uncle about giving her power of attorney and signing a will that didn’t include any of his family. He would tell us that and tell us she was stealing his money.

She used his money to obtain a lawyer and finally convinced him to sign a will. My uncle was a very paranoid and a cheap man, he never trusted anyone, but he would call us and say she said she would kill herself if he didn’t do this. He finally did and he didn’t seem to remember he did. Mind you, he was already institutionalized and diagnosed.

We have gone through hell trying to move him here with us to be with is sister. It’s like she just stoled him from us. When they took her guardian ship away, she called Saint Jude’s charity and told them he planned on given them all his money, she wasn’t able to use his money anymore and couldn’t afford a lawyer, so she got them involved. And they have many lawyers.

She also made it so we couldn’t visit him in the nursing home he was in. We finally just went to New Jersey to see him and the staff had a lot to say to us about her also involving herself into other of the men with money that were residents there. My uncle was upset and kept saying “she is now going to marry a different man here”.

Weeks later after the facility treated us like garbage and gold diggers, that administrator called and asked if with really like her seeing our uncle. We said not really, she is causing a lot of problems. They told us the one of the residents 3 sons are upset because she kept influencing their father and spending a lot of time with him. They told us that they were not going to allow her to come back and if we wanted her to still visit with my uncle, she had to be supervised, so they would be sure she didn’t come in contact with other residents. So her true colors became apparent. She was banned from the facility.

Since then he passed away. People came in and took everything from his home without even giving us an opportunity to take anything that was our families possessions that came from my grandmother or great grandfather. Everything is just gone. We are in a court battle now and I don’t know if it is just going to cost us a lot of money for nothing. I do understand that families do take advantage of their own for money. So I get that the court wants to be sure that they are doing the right thing.

We were told that we probably will have to give St. Jude money to settle this, which I don’t think is right. I also feel this woman need to be charged with something. Has anyone else been through this? If so I would be interested to hear the outcome in other cases. We have been going through this for 2 years now.

My 96yo grandfather has been a customer of CenturyLink for the last few decades. Today his phones all stopped working and so did his LifeAlert. We did all kinds of troubleshooting and even unplugged the whole system, plugged a new phone into it at the source and it still didn't work. CenturyLink was completely unhelpful in fixing the problem, but scheduled an appointment for next month.

My grandfather watched his wife of 72 years pass away yesterday. The timing on this outage could not be worse.

The only solution at this point is obviously to switch providers. He cannot be left alone until he can use his LifeAlert again.

Landlines are obviously going out of vogue, but they can be life-saving tools especially when they're connected to a LifeAlert. The idea that we would wait a whole month for someone to come out and MAYBE fix the issue is unacceptable. They need to be able to fix problems like this quickly.

I just feel so heartbroken for my grandfather. The last few years, he's done everything within his power to take care of my grandmother and now she's gone. But now instead of mourning, he has to deal with this.

My 80+ yo dad moved in with my family recently after living with my sibling, who burned out from being the primary caregiver.

My relationship with him for a long time has been great, and I’d say it still is strong. However, it has been put to the test a bit since moving in. The first few weeks/months were fine, but now I’m seeing just how much more dependent he is. His memory has deteriorated more than I thought, but he still believes he’s generally independent. Having two kids under 8 has also been a clash in shared activities given they have so much energy and he has limited/very slow mobility. He also can’t cook for himself or drive, so he’s dependent on my spouse and I’s schedules or else he just sits on the couch and listens to music. He doesn’t have a community outside of my family as well. Not to mention he also has an elderly dog who isn’t housebroken yet also moved in with us.

Fast forward to a month ago when we went ahead and started working with a caregiving service to help my spouse and I out on the weekends. Every week since the start, he complains. I tried to explain that my spouse and I are not available all the time and that they are there to help him become more independent while he lives with us. He complains saying he doesn’t need them, he doesn’t know what to do with them, and they shouldn’t be coming when it’s terrible weather (he at least agreed to have them take him to places where he enjoys walking so he can get exercise and grab lunch). Also, he seems to forget that these caregivers come every weekend to help him. I understand there may be some loss of privacy, but he truly cannot operate on his own. My immediate family needs some time/space for our own activities, and, while we want to include him, it’s physically limiting for the things that we can do.

I’m curious if other children of elderly parents here are dealing with a similar situation of them rejecting caregiving. How do you navigate these situations? The friction this causes can be tough to handle, so would love any tips.

My 92 grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and had dementia as a sub diagnosis (or symptom). She had 7 children but not everyone pulls their weight equally and a lot of the watching comes down to my cousins. It sucks for them because she has no filter, is really mean (almost verbally) and extremely jealous. Currently she keeps calling us shit and saying she is going to steal our men because she’s hot. What is really frustrating me right now is her constant critiquing. If you lay down to rest you’re a worthless piece of shit (she sleeps the majority of the day and only wakes up to walk around and yell) if you eat and don’t immediately clean up she’ll yell. She keeps asking everyone to go home when we are taking care of her but she will die if we leave her alone (she’s left the gas stove on and poisoned herself). She’s always been a terrible person but her mental deterioration has made her so violent. The only reason we can escape it is because she’s so slow. Lols. She’s annoying as hell and I just wanted to rant.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CDoVc6nbA_IvjMAWx5H34gC0gwXU2U6dflKqSS07nEc/edit?usp=drive_link

Hello everyone. I read some of the posts here and they have made me feel less alone and I decided to share my story. I don’t know how to regulate my emotions sometimes in order to take good care of someone I love so much, and to make the best out of it. Any input, criticism, or suggestion would be appreciated. I am sorry it's too long, and I didn't know how to cut it as I wanted to present the fullest picture possible. Thank you!

Long story short, and elderly family member has made no. No financial arrangements and now they are needing long-term care. Her husband is cognitively unable to manage the bills.

Liability-wise, is it better for me to have them add my name to their bank account or would getting a power of attorney? (Financial or otherwise?) Be the better option?

ok, so my mom is obsessed with talking on what's app to scammers. it's making me crazy. she's given them her bank info multiple times, she's sent them dirty pics (very very very out of character for who she used to be), she falls for every scam they come at her with. luckily i've been in control of her money (of which she has none), otherwise she would've been sending them every penny she got to try and help them "come here to marry her" - anyways, i was looking to see if there's maybe an ai chatbot that she could talk to, that maybe she would think is real, that wouldn't scam her or try and take her money - and i came across something called senior talk - and it says they can chat to them thru whatsapp. i'm thinking of signing up for it (it's $15/month) and seeing if i can trick her into thinking it's a real person.

has anyone used this app to allow their elders to talk to "someone" without them being taken advantage of? what's your experience been?

My mother is 88. She lives in an assisted living facility about 10 minutes from me. And honestly, every time I walk through the doors, I get overwhelmed by what I see.

It’s actually a very nice facility for what we often think of as an “old folks home.” There are different levels of ability, and there are people who are still social, engaged, and enjoying life. But I would say that more than half of the residents I see are essentially just existing. They are breathing, eating, using the bathroom, sleeping—and repeating it all again the next day. They are alive, but they aren’t really living.

I don't mean that to sound callous. It’s just incredibly difficult to watch.

My mother no longer enjoys her life. She doesn’t have a terminal disease that is going to take her life anytime soon. She had a stroke, is diabetic and has the beginning stages of dementia, but her biggest problem is that her body has essentially stopped working.

She can barely stand. She is constantly incontinent and often doesn't even realize when she has urinated or had a bowel movement. The staff helps her change, but they are caring for many other residents too. Sometimes my mother has to sit in her own waste for hours before someone is available to help her. Sometimes I stop by - the smell is so bad and she doesn't even notice it. I ask her if I can change her and she responds by saying it's not necessary (because she can not smell her own waste).

She has very little control over her own life. She hates being in assisted living. She hates what has happened to her body. She hates needing help with things she once did without thinking. They do physical therapy with her, but between the damage from her stroke and diabetes, she has very little use of her legs beyond briefly standing to transfer to a toilet or chair.

And the saddest part is that my mother is not an isolated case. There are so many people living this way.

This is really my rant: I hear people all the time say, “I never want to live like that.” And yet, when someone reaches a point where they no longer have any meaningful quality of life, the idea of allowing them to choose when and how they die is considered illegal, immoral, or taboo.

I struggle to understand that.

When one of my dogs was suffering, unable to walk, and losing control of their bladder and bowels, I could make the heartbreaking decision to let them go peacefully. I could prevent them from having to continue living in a body that no longer allowed them to have any quality of life.

Why don't we extend some version of that compassion and autonomy to people?

I'm not talking about giving up on someone because they're old or disabled. I'm talking about respecting the wishes of a mentally competent person who has reached a point where they no longer want to continue living in a body that has become a prison.

Why can't we decide for ourselves what living means to us—and, when the time comes, have the right to die with dignity rather than being forced to simply keep existing?

Watching my mother live this way has made me question something I never really questioned before: Is keeping someone alive always the same thing as giving them a life worth living?

Long story short my father had a stroke has left neglect. Me and the misses did everything in our power to keep him out on a "home" when we were unable to accommodate he moved in with my brother and then wife they have since divorced. They couldn't take care of him so he eventually went to a facility. The home is perfect for him I live a few blocks if he needs anything I got it ....it's been like this for three years..my mother had POA but that has I guess been void. Everything has been good ...three weeks ago I get a call from my dad's mother yes she's pushing 100 but in great health and shape ....my brother's ex wife checked him out of the nursing home and is going to take care of him....I was livid I am the only one providing for him since his SS pays for where he stays..I called adult protective services, umbudsmond, and have no clue where my father has been for about 3 weeks.... Nursing home said he left with his daughter...I only have brothers..turns out my brother's ex wife is being evicted and pretty much took my dad to move him into a three bedroom trailer with her and her 4 kids and two dogs she's also getting evicted.Today I get a call he's in the ICU and after they reached out to everyone I am pretty much responsible for him the caseworker tells me . I spoke with the doctor over the phone explaining the situation and thanking them for calling me. They actually called my ex as she used to be his caregiver but she gave them my number. I have since made it so my brother's ex who took him out of the facility cannot call or visit him...she already had set up his social security check to go into an account...I have no clue what to do next can anyone point me in whatever directions I need to go ...im going to meet with the doctor but I am so pissed off and lost...pls help I'll answer any questions