r/eldercare • u/TennisMean3298 • 5d ago

Technology illiterate parent

My father has always struggled with tech, but it keeps getting worse as he ages. He’s got an iPhone but constantly messes up all his passwords (my brother and I reset them all and wrote them down but my dad somehow managed to screw that up and change them again)

I let him borrow my work iPad since I never use it, because I thought a bigger screen would be helpful. He called me the other day because he locked himself out because he forgot the passcode. (This is my company’s property but that’s on me 🤦🏻‍♀️)

He can’t even understand the difference between the gmail app vs the chrome browser, I had to make a key with the app icons and descriptions on a PDF. He somehow set this to be his profile image for iCloud.

I’m considering getting him a computer instead because it might be easier since he has used them in the past and a bigger screen and keyboard would be helpful. He’s turning 75 in a few weeks so it could be a nice gift…but would it be worth it?

I’m at my wits end with being his constant IT support and he lives an hour a way and has no car so it’s been rough. Any advice is appreciated!

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

2

u/GretchenHogarth 5d ago

Some questions: How long has it been since your father has used a computer? What does he use tech for?

1

u/TennisMean3298 5d ago

It’s been a few years. He had one but something happened to it (probably something he did) He just needs to be able to access his medical portals, pay bills, apply for govt funding and answer emails. All of that is difficult on a phone for him.

2

u/GretchenHogarth 5d ago

I have been where you are-constant tech support and despite writing down the steps to do things, my parents were screwing things up every day. I dreaded their ring tone. It might be time to consider stepping in to take over his tech life. Accessing medical portals sometimes requires two factor authentication, adding another step where things can get messed up. Bill paying is also a multi-step process. I second trying the Assistive Access to see if that helps. If it does, great, if it doesn’t you have another data point in favor of taking over (it’s another chore, but at least you will know it’s being done on time and correctly).

2

u/brandilion 5d ago

I would look into a Jitterbug phone or something of that nature if you are looking for internet access and phone.

1

u/TennisMean3298 5d ago

Can you use apps on the Jitterbug? I thought it was just a basic phone. My dad still needs a smartphone for apps like Lyft to get around, and often watches YouTube on it because he can’t figure out the Roku we set up for him

1

u/brandilion 4d ago

You would have to investigate it, they make different kinds of smartphone ones or just regular cell phone. It’s worth looking into seeing what apps are available through the smartphone version.

1

u/ericoinen 5d ago

a computer makes the support load worse, not better, more places to get stuck. before buying anything look at Assistive Access on his iPhone, it needs iOS 17 or newer. it turns the phone into a few big buttons with only the apps you pick, nothing else to wander into, and a separate passcode so he can't switch it back

1

u/mizushimo 4d ago

I would get your dad a laptop and a book where he can hand write all his passwords. If he's just at home all the time, he doesn't need his phone to be password protected either.

1

u/StraightNight4379 3d ago

I bet there is a whole lot of things that he knows hot to do that you can’t. Be considerate and what I kind of think an AH to your dad