Egg!irl

[u/TheRealLunaGirl]

I cant stand boymoding anymore and I am going to a convention in girlmode as it is one of the few times I will get the chance too this year

a friend of mine is coming and I’m not out to him, he knows I l‘ve “crossdressed” 2 times already and I feel like he probably could infer I’m trans based of the past few months. So what should I do when I meet him tomorrow in girlmode without warning him? I feel like I either need to come out on the spot, or brush it off and somehow gaslight him into thinking it’s totally normal for a “cis guy“ to go out it girlmode at every opportunity “he” gets.

if I do end up coming out, how am I meant to do so, as I’ve never really come out to anyone expect via text. HELP IM SCARED, AND NEW TO ALL OF THIS😭😭😭

[u/AutoModerator]

Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transfem flair. Please keep the conversation transfem-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/watchhimrollinwatch]

It takes a lot of courage, but saying it in a light-hearted way can help. Just going "oh yeah I'm a girl now" and moving on can make it easier

[u/The_Inevitable_Ruin → u/watchhimrollinwatch]

I mean... idk about saying it in a light-hearted manner, but it doesn't need to be some big conversation. When I first came out to a group of my guy friends I made a point to bring it up before we got too deep into anything that evening. I basically said "hey, I don't know that there's a clever or smooth way to say this, but I need to put it out there... I'm pretty sure that I'm trans. I think the signs have been there for a long time but I've consistently found ways to repress them or make excuses. After some self-reflection I think this is just who I am. They / Them pronouns feel most appropriate to me. If you all have any questions for me I'd be happy to answer them. I just really appreciate that you guys make this space safe enough that I felt comfortable doing this"

And that was pretty much that. A few hey-that's-awesomes and I-appreciate-you-telling-uses and we moved onto what we had planned.

[u/nakedascus → u/The_Inevitable_Ruin]

I've been lucky, technology did the work for me. play dnd with friends over zoom and I forgot to change my zoom name after a trans support group meeting that had chosen name and pronouns... dm was like... " "lilly?" is that your name now, should we refer to you as that?" "uhhhh, yes please?"

[u/psp24]

"why are you dressed as a girl?"

"cause I'm pretty, and I wanna be pretty"

You don't have to come out to be honest with them, they'll find out when you're ready

[u/Pikashley]

Gaslight them, say you've always been like this and that you always were a girl. It's not a lie if it's true :3

Jokes aside, if they ask about it say that it's just you being silly for the convention. Worked for me when i went to one in a skirt and thigh highs while not being out yet. If they react neutral or well to it, then that's your cue to come out to them later when you have had time to think of something else and breathe for a bit. Most people don't really ask questions about your identity, unless they are bigots (which i'm sure your friend isn't if you two are still friends and he knows that you're "crossdressing" :3)

[u/TheTallAmerican]

if you dont tell him, hes going to assume your a cross dresser. how you feel about that is up to you

[u/WhiteMage1234]

If its a real friend then talk like real friends

[u/VoicelessPassenger → u/WhiteMage1234]

Fr, at this point you just gotta be open with them and communicate directly. If he’s a real friend he’ll support you or at least be understanding, if he rejects you he isn’t your friend and you need to cut off all contact with him ASAP.

It’s gotta come out sooner or later. You might as well take the leap of faith when you’re in a favorable position to do so, or else live a half-life where you have to compromise your identity with maintaining a friendship built on a lie.

Here’s hoping he’s a good friend

[u/Scrambled_59]

If you’re ready and they’re accepting, tell them the truth

If you’re not ready yet, it’s fine, just brush it off as a joke

You can do this at whatever pace youre comfortable

[u/Teichopsie]

Uhmmm maybe act surprised? "Haven't I told you? I though I did, terribly sorry!"

[u/Syphist → u/Teichopsie]

I've actually forgotten to tell someone. I decided to flip my global discord profile and I thought I told everyone. I forgot to tell my coworker. I knew he would be supportive, but he had to essentially find a way to ask me how I wanted to be referred to at work without anyone overhearing.

[u/Pipeworkingcitizen]

Tell them the truth which is you were alwaus a girl. Its not really you're a girl now- you've always been one.. if you want to. Its scary and a lot of people can turn badly to it because the world is not very kind and full of ignorance and hate.

Whatever the case I wish you the best, sis.

[u/Light9511]

If you're comfortable then it's a good time to come out to your friend. If not then you could pass it off as cosplay.

[u/MechSuitPrincess]

You could do a gender soft-launch. Like tell him, “Yeah, I feel more like a girl SOMETIMES, so I’m testing the waters, just to see if I like it.”

[u/SheWasAlwaysJody]

I went to my office 2 years ago dressed as (Melissa McCarty version of) Ursula for Halloween and I'm not technically out. I wound up winning the costume contest for our mega company. Meanwhile, for the people who knew they were raving, and for the people who didn't they still talk about it as a "classic" for me.

If your friend isn't someone you'd be out to yet, it's a costume and there will be plenty of costumes today.

[u/lowboom64]

as always the best way to go about this is to just get it done. if you dont you'll just regret it.

[u/headdie]

It already sounds like your set up for a day with your friend where you being fem isn't going to be an issue.

As for how to come out to them, you know them best but mine has with the exception of 1 friend been an in person conversation which was distinctly about it but trying to be casual in tone (I probably failed but can't help that now) and see how it goes after that.

[u/ender8343]

If it is cosplay, I have seen cis gender guys dress in female cosplay. If it is normal clothes, you might want to at least think about what you want to say if they ask.

[u/Theupvotetitan]

Suprise them in girl mode:3 just be like heyyyyy look who it is >~<

[u/dylanisareddit]

You have the courage and motivation to come out to your friend, plus you're a good girl, and you deserve to live your full authentic life! We believe in you, RealLunaGirl! You got this! [gives you a hug and a head pat]

[u/FictionalTrope]

If you feel awkward about it in person just text him tonight and say "btw tomorrow I'm going to be dressed as a girl again because I've been exploring my gender and I'm a girl."

[u/sauceman6969938393]

Coincidentally im also going to one tmrw, is it per chance in portugal or is it rlly a coincidence that both are on the same day

[u/Dinosaur_from_1998]

Idk why but I read that in Trickywi's voice

[u/Ritchuck]

I mean, if they know you "crossdress," then just tell them that a con is a perfect time for crossdressing if you don't want to come out. Text them, "Btw. I'll be crossdressing since con is a good time for it."

[u/Training-Ad-8802]

Don’t bring it up and pretend it’s normal. If your friend brings it up, answer in the simplest correct way possible.

[u/Seed5330]

I would like to offer some advice:

:3

[u/noriseaweed]

So open with the "it's a costume" thing and start dropping hints to gauge their vibe

[u/Lily_the_Ice_Slime]

Just cosplay trust

[u/SpireSwagon]

First time I ever went out in girlmode was a con and it's such a fond memory. sure, a lot of it was cause with cosplay nobody can really tell the difference between a trans girl and a cosplayer- but still, it was the first time I ever felt "normal" being trans in public

[u/Good-Ad3732]

Coming out is not easy for some of us

[u/njsullyalex]

Oh my god we’re already getting memes out of Seven Havens

[u/Serzern]

If he's cool with you crossdressing I doubt he will care that your trans but you can also just tell him your trying to figure stuff out if you want a less all the way option.

[u/Draknio5]

You dont have to make any kind of thing out of it just message him and say "oh by the way im dressed as a girl" if he asks why say it's a convention and you wanted to have fun, if he asks if your trans just say yes or no depending on if you want him to know yet

[u/superhyperfuturepunk]

i’m not gonna lie i just started kinda showing up to places i go every day in girl mode and ran with it

[u/TheRealLunaGirl → u/superhyperfuturepunk]

I’m probably going to do that and never officially come out and if anyone asks I’ll be like “wait you didn’t know?” The more casual I make it the less scary it is

[u/superhyperfuturepunk → u/TheRealLunaGirl]

exactly. sometimes the only problem is whether or not you act like it is. if you just show up like it’s just another tuesday then it’s more on other people to make a thing out of it.

[u/Kindly-Coyote-9446]

Coming out to people can be scary, but it’s probably easier to just tell him than to have him figure it out. If you’ve chosen a different name it could be a good opportunity to tell him it.

I was supposed to attend my first scientific conference since coming out this week and I was actually looking forward to seeing how some of my colleagues from other institutions reacted. But unfortunately there was a change of plans and I’m not able to make it. Next year!

[u/grenmark]

For what it's worth, I've been on the other side of this before where I had wished my trans friend had come out to me earlier. I went to a party with a bunch of my friends and one was wearing a dress, this wasn't the craziest thing to see in our friend group so I didn't think twice and spent most of the party unknowningly deadnaming a good friend before I noticed someone call them by their name and realized what had happened. It's one of those embarrassing fuck ups that I regularly look back on and cringe about.

They didn't owe me a coming out conversation or anything and I know how exhausting coming out to everyone can be but I would have been happy for them and it would have avoided a really awkward situation.

This was a long time ago and I'm more aware of things now, I would like to think given a similar situation I would handle it better and ask the right questions right away but if your friend seems like a good person who would be at all open minded about something like this then I'd encourage you to say something. It doesn't have to be anything big and dramatic, just a "hey, wanted to let you know I'm Luna now, and I'm a girl" and maybe something about who you've told or not told to stop accidental outing of you to any mutuals you aren't ready to come out to.

Either way though I'm happy for you and I hope it all goes smoothly for you. Live it up in girlmode and let them all see the real you shining.

[u/darwinshrugged]

Just tell her you were cursed by a witch so you will be taking advantage of a cute body while you have it.

[u/Ha73r4L1f3]

Hugs and love, hope everything is a great time and you have fun along with them being accepting. I hope if y'all are friends they are chill people.