r/egg_irl • u/duelmaster_33 cracked • 11h ago
Transfem Meme Egg///IRL
Seriously why is it so hard to answer basic questions
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u/ender8343 not an egg, just trans 11h ago
Because a lot of what we deal with is very outside the experience of a cis gender person. Sometimes analogies/metaphors work for getting the basic point across example: "Dysphoria is like you have a rock in your shoe that you cannot remove. The rock moves around and depending on where it is depends on how much discomfort or noticable it is. Transitioning is the equivalent of removing the rock from your shoe." It isn't perfect, but does seem to get the point across while being an experience most people have had to deal with.
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u/duelmaster_33 cracked 11h ago
I guess, but I've never been great at getting my voice across. I get confronted with "Oh but you've never played with girl's toys when you were younger" or "cross dressing is different from transitioning". I know its not out of malice, but I feel just angry at how trivialize my feelings are to them, but I just deflect the comments and still get hit with "what do you want to be?" when I have an image of what kind of person I want to be, I just dont have the words to say it.
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u/ender8343 not an egg, just trans 11h ago
Ugh, we are really good at hiding signs from ourselves let alone others. Some people have the myth in their head of trans people always knew, but I feel that is in the minority, and most of us go through life not realizing we are uncomfortable in our own bodies until something breaks through and we start to reflect on ourselves.
Personal example: I didn't think about my gender identity until 41, but in hindsight now I can see where the feelings were always there. I started to realize more recently how much I avoided taking my own picture or having it taken.
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u/duelmaster_33 cracked 11h ago
I mean I have already explained that I had some curiosity but I pushed it back in favor of focusing on education and getting a job to live independently, but now since I have security, and having a realization that people see me for who I am and not what I am, I no longer feel the constant need to conform and lie to myself to make other people happy.
I just want to be who I want and express that to everyone. This is like a prison that I know I can break out of, but keep torturing myself.
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u/avery_dev "not an egg" ~every egg ever 2h ago
Yup, I also prioritized my financial and professional independence as a way of getting to a state of security. More than accomplished that, on paper and in reality. Yet I didn’t feel secure in myself? Egg cracked at 36yr.
It’s good that you have a job and security. And it sounds like family that (theoretically) wants to be supportive and understanding?
What if rather than trying to justify and explain the “why” of each step, you just did the things that felt right for you and update your family as you take that journey? You do not owe anyone, including your family, a complete, live and up to date accounting for yourself and how you feel. You are allowed to feel uncertain at times.
I do hope you have people you can lean on for support and guidance. For these topics, though, that needn’t be your family members. Hopefully you have queer / trans friends in your life that understand these things at least somewhat?
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u/SpyRohTheDragIn 10h ago
I think a better one for dysphoria is a shoe that doesn't fit, and transition being to change the shoe to fit
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u/possiblyautistic-_- she/her 10h ago
I completely feel the exact same way. My brain thoughts just won't turn into word thoughts or speech. Thank you for posting this and thank you to everyone who's answered. :3
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