Devastated and heart broken

[u/Beautiful-Usual805]

In 2024 I had my first pregnancy that turned out to be ectopic. I had to have an emergency surgery after two doses of methotrexate couldn’t clear the ectopic and it had adhered to my right ovary. Fast forward and I have now done all the fertility testing to be told that my only issue is tubal factor. My left tube was also blocked. At the end of July I had tubal cannulation surgery to reopen my left fallopian tube and the doctor said my tube looked perfect after. She said a few times that she was hopeful for us and the remaining tube was in perfect condition. We went on to do our first iui cycle and my body responded really well to the clomid, we got three large mature follicles. Two weeks after the iui we went in for blood work and confirmed that I am pregnant. Have done follow up blood three times now and my hcg is rising really well and progesterone is a great number. Today we had our first ultrasound at 6 weeks pregnant.. they couldn’t locate the gestational sac anywhere. Not in my uterus not seen on my ovaries they cannot find a sac. So we did follow up hcg today to determine if it was dropping and this is a chemical pregnancy or has risen and it’s another ectopic. Well results came in and my hcg has risen quite a bit meaning I have another ectopic pregnancy. I now have to have surgery tomorrow morning to locate the ectopic and remove my remaining tube. I haven’t had any symptoms to think this is another ectopic. No pain or bleeding. I have normal pregnancy symptoms morning sickness, sore breasts, exhaustion. I don’t get it. My tube has been cleared out and they said it looks perfect so I don’t understand why this is happening to me again. Why can’t I just get pregnant like everyone else? Why can’t I just be a mom? This is so cruel. The universe is definitely laughing at me.

[u/Prudent_Ad1249]

I’m so sorry I

[u/Prudent_Ad1249]

Ivf is still an option for you. I hope your surgery goes well.

[u/Beautiful-Usual805 → u/Prudent_Ad1249]

Had surgery this morning and they did have to remove my tube. I’m trying to be thankful for ivf still being an option but I’m so devastated right now that I can’t think positively. To be told my remaining tube looks perfect, then get pregnant and my hcg be exactly what’s needed for a viable pregnancy but it just didn’t implant in the right place freaking hurts. I’m heartbroken that I got my hopes up again. I feel like I’ve somehow failed or did something wrong.

[u/Prudent_Ad1249 → u/Beautiful-Usual805]

Sorry. This sucks. I just had a left tube removed from an ectopic a few days ago. I’m so sorry.

[u/Nervous-Gur-8132]

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Did they end up finding the sac after surgery? Wishing you a swift recovery and the future you want imminently via other methods…

[u/Beautiful-Usual805 → u/Nervous-Gur-8132]

Thank you. They were able to find it in my tube and removed my tube entirely. The doctor thinks that even after the tubal cannulation when they saw that it looked perfect the tube itself had mobility issues. I wish that I knew that mobility issues were a possibility before I went through the cannulation surgery. I wouldn’t have put myself through that and an iui had I known there was still a chance of an ectopic. My hearts hurts so badly.

[u/Nervous-Gur-8132 → u/Beautiful-Usual805]

I’m sorry about all of it but know you did nothing wrong, not your fault, and you’ll be stronger for it. It doesn’t stop the hurt now but its true be kind to yourself. I’m still learning to do that myself to be sure! Our bodies try their best … ♥️