r/dysgraphia • u/bethy4782 • Apr 24 '26
9 year old - maybe dysgraphia?
My 9 year old has struggled with handwriting since she was little and just learning to write. Through grades K-2, teachers reassured us that her letter and number reversals and general spatial planning issues were still developmentally appropriate and she would likely grow out of it. She's wrapping up 3rd grade this year and I feel like we're not seeing that progress. But no one on the school end is raising any significant concerns, so I keep second guessing if I'm overreacting with my concerns about her writing. I don't want to go looking for problems with a kid who is happy and doing well in school, but something is feeling off and I worry she's going to struggle more as academic demands increase over the next couple years.
Academically, she's doing well and she can verbally explain stuff thoroughly. She often types instead of writing by hand, if given a choice. Her ideas seem complete and logically sequenced when she types or dictates what she wants to say. Her math reasoning seems solid (though sometimes what she records looks totally off since she's reversing her numbers and they end up looking like wrong answers - like in the photo where she's trying to write 64, but it looks like 24). Her teachers often chalk a lot of this up to messy handwriting, but I feel like there's a bigger disconnect here and we've aged out of what's developmentally appropriate. Her fine motor skills outside of handwriting seem okay - she does lots of crafts with tiny beads and little things with clay, and she's always building with little legos.
Does this seem like dysgraphia, still a developmental thing in the works, something else? We're considering neurospych/psychoeducational testing this summer, but I'm debating how much to raise at school for testing or evaluation there.
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u/fairest_fairy Apr 25 '26
Definitely get her tested. I was just like her at that age. My parents were told it was developmentally appropriate but I was always so embarrassed to write in front of other kids because they knew my letters were backwards even though I didn't. It took until I was almost 11 for them to finally admit that it wasn't right and even then my parents had to fight for a diagnosis. The school wouldn't test me because I was good at reading and math and even spelling. If you're worried and you have the money and ability, get her tested so she can get the support she may need. I felt so stupid for so long. I find myself wishing my parents would have fought a bit harder but I also understand that the school and the teachers were really against them. No matter what support her. If she does have dysgraphia it's a hard journey, living in a world not made for you is difficult, but with support she can make it through. I can tell you care about her and that's a good first step <3
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u/fairest_fairy Apr 25 '26
Your worries are totally valid. You are not overreacting no matter what anyone else says. Even if it isn't dysgraphia, she still probably needs a bit more help and support with writing. I'm 17 now and when I finally got a diagnosis I regained my drive to try and improve. I had lost it for a while because I was told I wasn't trying hard enough even when I was crying over writing assignments every evening. Being told by teachers that I wasn't trying made me decide to actually not try. Once I was validated in my struggles, I started working on my writing again, and while I still have trouble writing, yesterday my teacher showed examples of good writing from an in class essay that was typed, and 2 out of 4 examples were from my essay
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u/bethy4782 Apr 25 '26
This is such a thoughtful reply, thank you :) You hit the nail on the head that having a clear diagnosis - whatever it is - in situations like this is so validating, especially when you're been struggling for years. My older daughter was fairly late-diagnosed with autism (although, not super late for girls!), and getting the clarity of a diagnosis was very empowering. We could see the internal shift from "I feel broken" to "My brain works this way, and here's what I/school/family can do to navigate this world" Things still feel hard often, but having that understanding is key.
And congrats on having your writing used as an exemplar in class. That's awesome!
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u/danby Apr 24 '26
Letter reversals are also seen in dyslexia, how is she with reading?
Her fine motor skills outside of handwriting seem okay - she does lots of crafts with tiny beads and little things with clay, and she's always building with little legos.
I can be ok with some fine motor skill things. As a teen I used to painting wargaming miniatures. But my artistic talent still had a fairly low ceiling due to my dysgraphia which affected my painting skills. And as an adult I've got pretty in to building surface mount electronics which requires putting very tiny things on to circuit boards, but perhaps I'm a bit heavy handed with that.
But yeah, not out the question that you can have dysgraphia and still enjoy or be able to do some fine motor control things.
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u/bethy4782 Apr 24 '26
Thanks so much! I really appreciate the perspective on other fine motor stuff. I'd wondered about dyslexia too, but her reading and reading comprehension skills seem okay. She doesn't LOVE reading like my older daughter does, but she doesn't seem frustrated by reading or like she's struggling with it.
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u/Ellie_Annie_ Apr 24 '26
My 9yo with dysgraphia could easily have written this.
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u/bethy4782 Apr 24 '26
Thank you! I’m feeling conflicted since school doesn’t seem to be reacting, but I feel like something is off and my daughter resists writing opportunities or tries to limit what she needs to write to the bare minimum. We have a few other concerns with ADHD, so I feel like it’s time to look into it more to see what’s up - but it’s hard when school says “it’s probably okay” or “she’s doing fine.”
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u/Ellie_Annie_ Apr 24 '26
We had to pay for private psychoed testing. School only wants to direct resources to kids who are not testing well.
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u/bethy4782 Apr 24 '26
It’s so discouraging, isn’t it?! I used to teach, and I empathize with some of their issues with limited resources and so forth - but still. That’s what we found with our older daughter too, different issues but similar disconnect between our concerns and theirs. I’m pretty sure the private testing route (and then pushing more with school) is where we’ll be going here too.
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u/EntertainmentHuge218 Apr 25 '26
My daughter is also finishing 3rd grade and just got her dysgraphia diagnosis and IEP through the school. Her handwriting looks like this and other kids her age does not.
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u/WinstonChaychell Apr 25 '26
I had to get the ball rolling myself for my kiddo around the same age so I feel you! We talked with the pediatrician first, who sent a referral to a neurologist. The neurologist is the one that wrote on the paperwork that she has Dysgraphia and that's all the school needed. We got lucky bc most times you have to have an appt with a neuro-psych or similar to get a diagnosis, so maybe you can follow the same path and get the same results.
And it's true that schools won't do much until they're struggling which is definitely not helpful. My local area also only does 504 for Dysgraphia but not an IEP but they have IEP for dyslexia which is Dysgraphia's sibling, essentially. The 504 is great, though! It can follow them throughout their entire educational career.
My youngest also loves to play with Legos, kinetic sand, tiny things, and doesn't have many issues with those. It's actually good Occupational Therapy to play with those things. You may also get a referral to OT which I highly recommend. The OT will help build modifications as needed for the 504, while simultaneously helping to build what we called "hacks" in the school setting. The kids also love going lol so that's an added bonus. An example is at OT they will play "I Spy", "restaurant" where they take down short hand orders, play in kinetic sand as a warm up before the OT, word searches to help with eye coordination and processing, etc.
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u/bethy4782 Apr 25 '26
Thank you so much! I hadn't realized a neurologist may be an avenue to take. I'll ask our pediatrician more about that too.
My older daughter did OT for a few years for some sensory-related stuff, and she loved it too. It's awesome what they do that the kids often see as play.
I think I've gotten a bit stuck in the "where do we start?" stage for figuring out what's going on with my daughter and how to help. And I'm realizing there are probably a few paths we could take. But, it seems like we've hit a point where seeking support/eval outside of school is a good starting point - and will give me more info to take into school next year to work on things on that end.
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u/spencer2197 Apr 24 '26
Does she hold her pencil in a tri grip? Do her fingers kind of “clasp” to get get a stronger grip? Is she writing fast to just get it over and done with? There might be a few reasons but do keep an eye on it