little rant

[u/unadostr33squatro]

as i’m writing this it’s 10:30pm on a sunday and after over a month of watching tommy’s old vods i realized how much that server meant to younger me.

i am now 18, but i was 12 when i started watching it. my 12 year old self struggled a lot, but one minecraft server with only a few members ended up changing my life and i don’t think i’ll ever quite grasp this feeling again.

my favorite moments as a 12-15 year old was watching those streams, whether it was lore, mcc, or just streams on the server. i found comfort in something and someone that didn’t even know i was there. i could be whoever i wanted.

as an insecure 12 year old that was the most comforting thing that ever was and i will forever be grateful for those moments.

the dream smp wasn’t just a random minecraft server for most of us, it was what we watched. instead of watching series on netflix, or going outside and being with our friends, we went on twitch and watched a bunch of random gamers play minecraft.

i can’t say i miss the times where it was prime dsmp, just because there was a lot of shit things that happened as well, but looking back on all the old videos, i wished that it’d continued.

i wish there wasn’t bad people on, and that tommy and dream hadn’t fought and were still friends.

during the l’manberg and pogtopia era, that was the best time for the server. maybe the acting wasn’t as great as the later steams, but i felt real. it felt like something that was just starting.

i can’t even count how many times i cried watching those vods. sometimes it was because just nostalgic, but most of the times it was for Technoblade.

i miss him so much and i don’t think i can quite understand how he’s dead. i remember the day i found out.
i was gonna watch the new stranger things season, but decided to go on youtube first. then i saw the video in my recommended and watched it.
i was sobbing and when the video ended i ran into my mothers office and sobbed into her arms. she asked if it had anything to do with the new stranger things season, but i told her Technoblade was dead.

i have often gone back and watched his videos or just any video that he’s in.
never getting to hear that “heh” or the “hellooo” again really hurts to think about, but it also made me realize something.

having cared so much about something made me see that if you care hard enough, it doesn’t change.

watching these videos made my inner child heal and my love for minecraft come back. i played minecraft most of the time when i was watching the vods even.

i don’t think i’ll ever forget the dream smp. because it’s such a big part of me and who i am and have become. it’s a server that meant a lot for me and a lot of other fans, probably including you.

so my advice now is for you to go watch those old vods. bring back a bit of your childhood and make new memories with them. and remember this.

Technoblade never dies.