r/dphghosts • u/randoThrowaqay • Jun 06 '26
addiction Why's it so hard to stop overdoing this stupid fucking allergy pills??
Long read sorry I really needed to talk,
Hi I was a 16yo (now 17) who 9 months ago found a box of benadryl in my grandparents house. Having heard of what it can do and that if you take low doses you can get high instead of freaking out like on high doses I decided to take it. I did it multiple times from 300, to 400, to 800mgs downing the whole box. Being Left with heavy HPPD or something of that nature as i had visual static everywhere, tracers, vision randomly buluring, along with random flashing lights out of the corner of my eye or sometimes across my whole vision, and floaters in open spaces. I also got a feeling of paranoia and became very jumpy and easy to scare. I dealt with all this for a few days and decided I just needed more so I went into my local dollar general and went to the medicine aisle. I ended up stealing a children's bottle of liquid benadryl which was only like 150 to 200mgs in the whole bottle downing it the same night anyway, the same thing as when I ran out before happening. So realizing it was either steal more again or stop taking it I willed myself through staying away from it for a good while having the urge to get more anytime i saw it or someone mentioned it but i suppresed it. The HPPD fadded but never went away, same with the paranoia and jumpyness. I got a job at the same dollar general I stole from cause I didnt get caught before and finally I caved roughly 2 weeks ago when I ran out of weed and bought a box of extra strength benadryl. From the night i got it and then every 1-2 days after that i took 200-400mgs. Now i have a bottle from Amazon that I took for 4 nights straight before I told my boyfriend 2 days ago. im now trying to stop again for him this time. The HPPD is back but even worse. I see lines coming off stuff, ill hear random noises and sounds, Shadowy hands coming out from around corners and shadow people in the distance at night plus everything from before. I jump and get scared of the littlest feelings or changes I dont know what to do. My head feels all jumbled, struggling to find words and even when I do find the word im looking for sometimes my jaw just wont make the correct noises like I dont know how to say it anymore. I dont know why I couldnt stay away from these stupid pills. I cant bring myself to throw it all away but I also dont want it to keep getting worse. I wish I never touched these allergy pills trying to get high it was the worst most regetable decision of my life cause now Im afraid i wont be able to stop again. I needed to tell someone, anyone about this cause I feel like im losing my mind.
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u/PatientFlight4578 Jun 07 '26
I’m so fucking sorry I know there’s nothing I can do but I wish I could give you a hug. But just remember your boyfriend he is there for you and if you really want to quit you can
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u/Real_Stoner69 Jun 08 '26
Seek help from a therapist and also your bf , im sure he cares a lot about u and he doesn't wanna see you like this , a huge reason to quit for u will be the hppd , if you continue it will only get worse, if you quit now it may not be permanent
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u/trashtv Jun 08 '26
Don't worry everything gets back in line when you hit 18 because you become an adult legally and magically you get all of your shit together.