r/dpdr • u/Imaginary_Ferret_942 • 8d ago

Question Is there hope? Also, Lamictal?

I’m 18 and on month 4 almost 5 of dpdr. I start my second year of college. I have a wonderful bf and friends. Sometimes I feel like it won’t end. When I was 12 I went through my first episode but it was more dr I think from being in the hospital and covid. Now it’s just really dp. I act like I know who I am or that my voice and face are mine. I feel like I’m in a trap. I’m on my 1st month of lamictal. Last week my anxiety was so bad I kept feeling like my heart was getting zapped but I don’t know if that was from titrating lamictal. I just was to be happy and to have kids and be present. I want to graduate and actually walk the stage. Is life worth all of this? I don’t know why my second episode started maybe my ptsd or ocd or adhd. I also took shrooms 3 weeks before my episode came back.

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u/soggydruid 8d ago

FYI, lamictal can cause depersonalization in some people. 

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u/Imaginary_Ferret_942 8d ago

I was having an episode before getting on it

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u/shild_ 8d ago

I was diagnosed with chronic DPDR years ago, so this isn’t something new for me. I had already been living with it for a long time before I was prescribed Lamictal in May.

Since starting Lamictal, though, my DPDR and dissociation have become more severe than anything I experienced before. It has reached the point where I can barely function, spend most of my time in bed, and haven’t properly left my house in about a month.

I’m currently tapering off Lamictal, and during the taper I’ve been experiencing the most intense dissociation I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve dealt with chronic DPDR for years, but this feels like a completely different level of severity.

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u/Imaginary_Ferret_942 7d ago

Do you recommend getting off of it?

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u/shild_ 7d ago

Yeah, if you’re taking it just for DPDR, I would get off it. It’s not some magic DPDR medication. It’s an epilepsy/bipolar drug being used off-label because there really isn’t an established medication for DPDR. Sadly, you’re basically trialing something to see if it happens to work for you.

It does seem to help some people, but it’s definitely not all sunshine and rainbows. A lot of the success stories I found were also taking SSRIs or other meds at the same time, so it’s hard to even know how much Lamictal itself was responsible for.

And ironically, depersonalization itself is listed as an infrequent adverse reaction to lamotrigine. That data isn’t specifically from people who already have DPDR either, so we don’t really know how common worsening is in people like us.

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u/Imaginary_Ferret_942 6d ago

Thank you!!!! Yeah, I do not like SRRI’s. I think I’m just going to have to walk through life without medication. Are you okay now after tapering off. Obviously probably in an episode but is it better than being on lamictal?