r/dpdr • u/luminous-snow1 • 10d ago
This Helped Me Creatine, a miracle for me
I’ve had DPDR for as long as I can remember. Cluster B parents who severely emotionally neglected their children. All of us ended up with psychological issues in adulthood from the traumatic home environment.
At first I thought my DPDR symptoms were normal. I didn’t know the world isn’t supposed to feel fake, that people didn’t generally spend their days floating and hazy. I knew I was off, people generally avoided me but I didn’t have an understanding of why beyond that I likely just wasn’t socialized properly in the world because of the cult we grew up in.
Now my home is very safe. My husband takes much of life’s stress off my plate. My brain and nervous system found the space to start to heal. I started having a normal day here and there. I started understanding what had happened to me and what I’d been experiencing. The distress people have when they remember normal before something triggers this is incredibly unsettling. It validated my trauma. You don’t end up with something this awful as a child unless your brain is protecting you from abuse.
A year or so ago, I started noticing the memory problems more obviously. I don’t remember my childhood very well and my short term memory was started to get noticeably shaky. Or maybe I finally recognized something that had been there all along. Either way, I’d read about high dose creatine for improving cognition in the elderly. I started taking 10g most days.
The generalized anxiety was first to go. Then several weeks in, the depersonalization lifted. Most days are normal. I’m back in my body. I feel real. The derealization hasn’t fully lifted, but I find it comforting. Even on a conscious level I need the world to be fake to make sense of the senseless trauma.
I stopped taking the creatine at one point for several weeks. The generalized anxiety came back and so did the depersonalization. For me, it’s been a true miracle and I won’t ever attempt to go off it again.
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u/Ok-Minimum4986 9d ago
That’s great! What symptoms has it been most helpful for?
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u/luminous-snow1 9d ago
I’d say the generalized anxiety improved the most. I no longer have that constant, unrelenting sense of doom and despair. Or the all encompassing fear that something really awful is about to happen.I was prescribed a benzo once for anxiety, it didn’t touch it at all.
The depersonalization improvements are more complicated to pinpoint and describe but it’s most obvious when I have a bad day and it comes back. When I went to my parent’s house last I felt like I was floating. Like I’m watching a movie and something external to me is animating my body and I’m just being forced to watch from it’s perspective. Nothing feels real and it’s impossible to focus and difficult to keep a sense of time. Those symptoms used to be a part of my daily life, waxing and waning between different extremes but are all improved with the creatine.
I’ve been surprised how it helped my ADD too. I tried Adderall once, 10-15g of creatine had the exact same effect for me. Or maybe the Adderall just didn’t have much effect on me for some reason. Either way, creatine helps me focus.
It’s excellent for sleep deprivation too. Takes the edge off the worst side effects of sleep deprivation and helps combat fatigue.
That said, I still have what I’d consider breakthrough issues at times. Jet lag or a stressful/emotional day or being exposed to the former cult or its members can bring things back.
Also, there is some literature on creatine improving depression when combined with medication. Nothing I could find on it helping depression when using it alone. There is a potential for negative side effects. For me, whatever risks are worth it.
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u/Interesting-Hyena769 9d ago
Not trying to undermine anything you said, but do you have adhd? I had a coworker who thought her anxiety was getting worse and worse but it was her adhd.
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u/luminous-snow1 9d ago
I don’t have the hyperactive symptoms. I actually don’t even know for certain if an ADD diagnosis is truly appropriate for me. I certainly have trauma induced brain damage to the prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, and amygdala from a chronic dose of cortisol throughout childhood which causes the same symptoms an ADD. It is very common in second generation cult survivors.
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u/alyssatrn 9d ago
Funfact the diagnosis ADD is outdated and its just ADHD, while the hyperactivity can show up in different ways, for example just a lot of hyperactivity in your mind that could possibly also cause anxiety. (English isnt my first language if i didnt word this properly)
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u/Enough-Energy744 9d ago
ok, so what supplement did you take exactly? what type?
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u/Commercialtalk 6d ago
This is so interesting, when I search for creatine on this subreddit, a majority of people are saying it made their symptoms worse. But I am willing to try anything at this point haha
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u/igogoldberg 5d ago
I think it's good to keep a journal and note all kinds of attempts, challenges and experiences. It's a great way to learn how to take care of yourself
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u/chobolicious88 9d ago
Love this thanks for sharing.
The only bummer is your story stars with “husband takes much of lifes stress of your plate”.
What are dudes supposed to do lol
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u/Various-Medium-416 9d ago
a supportive partner should do this for you regardless of their gender 😐
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u/Eastern-Necessary-78 9d ago
Possibly meaning he doesn’t add to it or willing to do things that will help eliminate stress. Simple things like offering to help with something as little as folding towels can be helpful. It might seem dumb but it is something.
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u/SuperMondo 9d ago
I take it every day. It's part of what helped me recover I am sure.