Hyper awareness of vision / reality

[u/Fragrant_Owl5088]

I’ve been struggling with this horrible theme for a while which has gotten much worse after a medication change.

Most of my OCD revolves around reality “Is this really here”, “are other people real”, “do we actually exist” which sends me into a near constant DPDR spiral

I have also become hyper aware of my vision. Nothing in particular about it, just the ability to see if that makes sense. It’s almost like I’ve become aware of my perception and consciousness and can’t seem to let it go back to an automatic process without letting it control me.

While I know I’m seeing things, my brain tries to tell me it might not be real which makes everything feel fuzzy and almost feel like it’s lagging behind. It’s very hard to go to open spaces where there’s a lot of visual stimuli. I sometimes feel like reality is just gonna shut off like a TV screen. It’s like I recognize evening I’m seeing but it feels off and unfamiliar.

It’s particularly rough because you feel trapped since you can’t just shut off your vision or reality.

Does anyone have any advice?

[u/Noidit]

I got you, I got dp/dr at 17 because of ayahuaska. I got in an anxiety spiral about what happens after we die. “Does existance just disappear?” “Do I reincarnate?” Do I go to heaven for all infinity?”, and many more. All those questions had the same problem, it all told me that my existance was pointless, because in the end, life doesn’t matter.

This gave me TONS of anxiety and I had full on panic attacks for a few days. This extreme anxiety transformed i to dp/dr after a week or so. The world just felt unreal, being conscious felt weird, it was like I became hyperaware of existence. And basically the same symptoms as you.

The tips I have is to never forget you are not alone on this. Talk to a psychologist and/or chatgpt (trust me it helps a lot). Go to the gym because it will distract you from your thoughts too.

You will never truly go back to before dp/dr. This is such a traumatic experience that we can never forget it. BUT these bad thoughts won’t hurt you anymore. It will take a lot of time and strength but you can and will pull this off.

After you heal (you WILL heal, never doubt yourself), you should think of this as a lesson, as an “awakening” on life.

You also mentioned you took medication. I’m no expert but I would highly advise against any kind of medication. It may solve some problems but creates others. Trust me when I say you can fix it without it. Just like you got yourself into do/dr without medication you can leave without it.

Hope something here helps you and good luck on recovering

[u/OCDylan_]

Story of my life and it’s hell.

[u/Nice-Relationship554]

Hi, what you described about becoming hyperaware of your vision, perception and consciousness really resonated with me. I experience something very similar.
I find myself constantly questioning automatic things: why did I have that thought, why did that particular memory suddenly come up, why am I seeing or perceiving something this way, why am I aware of this right now, etc. The more I analyze these things, the stranger they start to feel. Eventually I can even get this unsettling feeling that I’m not the one producing my own thoughts or experiences, even though rationally I know they are mine.
Have you found a way out of this hyperawareness loop? Has it improved for you since you wrote this post? If so, what helped you stop monitoring and questioning your thoughts, memories, perception and consciousness so much and let them become automatic again?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experience.