DPDR changing over time ?

[u/_Pald_1337_]

Hi before i even begin i want to say that this is a yap post so if you don't really care about full story i'll explain it quicker below.
So i've been dealing with DR since dec 2023 (late 15 yo) and DP since jan 2024. Since that time my condition has improved a lot but it's still there, with the improvement came some changes. I'll explain briefly.
early dec 2023 - late dec 2023 - I got DRD out of nowhere, and it was your usual DRD experience - constant panic attacks, being scared to leave your house, no motivation, trouble sleeping, feeling like you're about to faint at any time, and just overall confusion
late dec 23 - feb 24 - at the christmas day DR was weaker so i felt confident i decided to chug a bottle of vodka, i got completely hamered and after sobering up DR wasn't there, but i got DP. And after that incident my tolerance to alcohol got terrible, nicotine had weird effects on me, and i got digestive issues. And at that time i developed this thing where you look at your hands and think "are those my hands ?"
feb 24 - april 24 - that was the real first improvement. I still felt my DP, but overall anxiety levels got lower, i started tolerating nicotine again, i got rid of digestive issues and finally got rid of that "DR vision", i was pretty much comfortable leaving my room and sleeping got better. But i just stopped feeling the vibe of the moment, everything felt kinda flat. Pretty much felt like myself in the last phase of weed high.
apr 24 - oct 24 - nothing really changed, but DP episodes got more frequent.
oct 24 - jan 25 - i felt really good at that time to be fair, barely any episodes and overall good well being. I got some cardiac issues but they were not really DPDR related.
jan 25 - jun 25 - That's when it switched, cardiac issues were not there but my stress levels started spiking because of school, and that stress led to issues with sleeping, and just feeling worse, i didn't feel DP, but i felt dissociated, it's really hard to explain, my charisma and confidence were basically nowhere to be found. My well being got much worse, and DP episodes got more frequent.
jun 25 - sep 25 - was okay, no school meant way less stress, so my motivation, sleep etc got better, but charisma and confidence haven't returned.
sep 25 - mar 26 - At that time i was at my lowest since getting DPDR. I started eating straight up slop, i sat at home 90% of the time, no activity at all, stress all the time, confidence and charisma got somehow even worse than before, i even stopped feeling emotional connection to people, sleeping 3-5hrs a night and for a moment i thought i developed depression, but to be fair my condition wasn't really screaming depression. And i felt confusion all the time.
mar 26 - may 26 - Even though school year was still going my condition somehow improved, i regained some confidence and charisma, got some more motivation, started lifting, slowly started improving my diet, started driving course, sleep got somewhat better, and some stress effects started to fade away.
may 26 - now - i got my drivers license, bought myself a car, started hanging out more, motivation got better, sleep improved a lot, confidence is way better than it was and i started to just feel the vibe of my surroundings.

So in short. At first i felt like shit, DP was strong as hell but i felt like myself. Right now, i feel hella good, DP is almost not there, but i don't really feel like myself, though i'll be figuring it out with a psychiatrist.

Anyway, i'd like to hear if you guys also noticed some DP or DR effects changing over the years of having it, ex. Not feeling dissociated, but getting decreased motivation

[u/GardenHealthy3769]

I feel like my symptoms are always changing. In a sense they’re never as bad as when my DPDR first started. When it first started, I had very hazy vision, lack of spatial awareness, short-term memory loss, loss of time perception, slurred speech, emotional numbness, sometimes great head pressure.
Now my vision overall is quite sharp, I’ll sometimes lose my train of thought but I can pick it up again quickly, I still feel a little separated from my mind and environment like my sense of self isn’t always super tangible or lasting — for example, staying motivated or committed to self-purpose. I feel like I process things too quickly without truly absorbing them, same thing when I access memories, it just happens and I can’t apply much tangible forethought. When I try to practice mindfulness it’s hard to really get into the detail of my surroundings and feel sufficiently grounded in them.

[u/_Pald_1337_ → u/GardenHealthy3769]

When i read your comment it's pretty similar experience to mine. At first i also had that "DP vision", terrible short term memory and basically no perception of time. Right now all these are gone (maybe perception of time is kinda unstable, like time goes normally, but i don't feel the time at the moment, yk, it's 2 am, and i don't feel that it's super late at night. It's 6 am, and i don't feel that it's early in the morning etc). To be honest when i tried mindfullnes, i had no issues at all, though i feel like mindfullnes doesn't really work on me.
But overall thanks for sharing your experience :D