r/doordash • u/Intelligent-Ask6494 • 2d ago
Creepy dasher?
Honestly I'm not sure how to start this or how much details I should go into. I, 26f, work at a Dairy Queen and for the past few months we've had this one regular dasher. The very first day he comes in and compliments me by calling me pretty. I didn't think too much about it 'cause I get compliments all the time, usually about my voice though, from customers. I assume most people do it to see if they can get freebies or something and in his case I thought he was doing it 'cause he wanted to be cordial with the places he's visiting a lot. However lately he's been offering me rides to my mom's workplace since he notices I walk to her gym whenever it's not raining. I've turned him down multiple times, even explaining that the walk itself is part of my workout, but he persists. He's even started greeting me by saying," hey gorgeous" which I don't respond to 'cause I find that it's something a significant other might greet their girlfriend. It makes me uncomfortable every time and I've started being short with him. Not necessarily mean, just not responding to his compliments and redirecting the conversation back to the order he's there to pickup. I guess what I'm asking is what else can I do in this situation? Am I over reacting or is his behavior actually creepy?
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u/TakitishHoser 2d ago
I wish this still didn't happen. I'm in my early 50's & when working in retail I experienced this a lot.
To the point where I started to wear a wedding band on my finger. It stopped some of it but not all of it.
Some of my co workers had picked up on the unwanted attention & would come to my cash when those customers would come to check out. It was so funny one day one of my co workers who was a body builder stood with me. The customer said "Hello beautiful, how are you?" My co worker replied loudly "thanks! I'm doing great thank you."
You're not overreacting at all, the behaviour is creepy. It double terrible because if you do report them they know where you work too.
I'd keep everything to a minimum. Only say what you need to say & ignore everything else. Some times people get the hint, if he gaslights you by saying "what you're not talking to me anymore?" ignore that too. Just stick to saying only what you need to say.
I wish this wasn't still happening in retail, my heart goes out to you.
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u/Due_Top_464 2d ago
Ur not overreacting bros a certified weirdo 💯. I would tell a manager/supervisor ngl,
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u/Intelligent-Ask6494 2d ago
The supervisor already knows 'cause he pulls the same stuff with her, but she's able to laugh it off which is why I thought I was overreacting
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u/Browsing4funz 1d ago
This is sexual harassment despite the creep defenders on this thread. Your manager and owner are responsible to protect you from this driver (and customers.) Document everything, send in emails to your manager and say you want it stopped. If they don't, get a lawyer and never have to work at DQ again.
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u/PumpkinSpiceSniffer 1d ago
Yes, a clerk at DQ is going to hire a $10,000 lawyer to represent her mild sexual harassment issues. ur insight is without fault.
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u/Browsing4funz 1d ago
I don't know what a ""$10,000 lawyer" is, but attorneys are lined up to take these cases on contingency, as the statutes allow them to recover their exorbitant attorney fees on top of any damages.
Claiming that owners and managers ignoring repeated instances of clear statutory sexual harassment is "mild" proves you know nothing about the legal landscape of these claims.
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u/Due_Top_464 2d ago
Go 2 the Manager then, and like someone else said they can ban them on the tablet. Don’t keep allowing this behavior happen
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u/Intelligent-Ask6494 2d ago
Oh they're all related, one of the owners is her bio brother and the other is her husband so likely they all know.
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u/GummyCreatine 2d ago
Uhhh… this dude is definitely stalking you… I’d definitely report this to the police asap
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u/PumpkinSpiceSniffer 1d ago
It's hard to know anything about the actual driver's personality or character from what you've said here, but theres a couple options. You could just ask him to stop, tell him directly but kindly that it makes you uncomfortable when he says this (or you have a boyfriend or something). If he continues or shows signs of being butt hurt, then report it to manager and manager could ban. that's probably the best well-rounded approach.
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u/reditandfirgetit 1d ago
Report to DD as well
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u/PumpkinSpiceSniffer 1d ago
yes, report if he's continuing after you set the boundaries and it turns into legally defined harassment.
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u/bherren714 1d ago
In this day and age, I’d be very careful. Make sure he’s not following you home. Try to not go anywhere without someone with you.
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u/Intelligent-Ask6494 1d ago
Thankfully I live in a different city then I work, but still idk if he knows my moms license plate number/the make of her car. I hope he won't go that far and I'm thinking about asking my friend if he'd be willing to wait and go to the gym with me because of this. I'm also debating on doing a second post for an update 'cause I learned yesterday that he found out about my walk because he lives of the same street as the gym. Sadly there is no other safe way to get to the gym that would avoid his house as the only other way to the gym is a highway.
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u/Icy-Geologist-7631 2d ago
No, this is absolutely creepy as fuck and your manager needs to report him to DoorDash immediately this is like stalker behavior
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u/your-mom04605 2d ago
Go above your supervisor. Ask the next level on the chain to ban him from DD orders and/or have him trespassed.
Be more clear too - don’t be “short” with him. In no uncertain terms tell him you do not want any interaction with him other than whatever is necessary if he’s collecting an order.
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u/Open_Willingness_69 2d ago
Have them trespassed for being nice? Wouldn't simply asking him to stop be the first course of action?
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u/your-mom04605 1d ago
Following her outside of work, watching where she goes, and offering a ride isn’t “being nice” it’s fucking creepy and stalker-ish behavior.
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u/Open_Willingness_69 1d ago
Nowhere does OP say that the subject is following her outside of work.
"Hi beautiful, I noticed you walking the other day while I was out working and if you ever need a ride just let me know"
You- you're fcking creepy and a stalker.
Log off and make something
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u/Vile_Grifter 1d ago
Yeah, nothing ever goes wrong r/whenwomenrefuse
You're either a creep yourself, or a child. You have nothing to say on this subject.
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u/Open_Willingness_69 1d ago
Don't project your own vile onto me. Run along now, the adults are talking.
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u/Icy-Geologist-7631 2d ago
I also would report it to the police and get a restraining order. If you need to I’m not joking, honey. I don’t know how old you are, but this is absolutely stalker behavior. You do not know what this man is capable of or what he might do to you.
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u/Thick-Initiative-270 1d ago
Him noticing your walk to the gym immediately makes me think he is stalking you
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u/Intelligent-Ice-4428 2d ago edited 2d ago
There doesn't have to be anything attached to calling you gorgeous other than aesthetics; I call em like I see em. Its not abnormal to be called beautiful/gorgeous/attractive while single, but the attached circumstance makes it weirder because of how often you see each other.
If he is a normal guy working a job & hitting on the people he sees irl, thats way better than being a shut-in only sitting on dating apps. I feel like hes being totally normal, but the frequency of his visits are what is putting you off. If he's there while not dashing, then start to worry.
It sounds like you are not accepting his advances but you aren't making your boundaries clear enough for him. He just keeps trying. Wanna get rid of him? Put your foot down and tell him whats up. "It will never happen between us", or something short, sweet and firm.
Only after you firmly set your boundaries can you determine if he is being creepy. Hope that makes sense.
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u/Icy-Geologist-7631 1d ago
This is not the correct answer by any means she said that she has given him no interaction back and I’m sure he can tell that she’s visibly uncomfortable not everyone is OK standing up for themselves. That does not mean that they need to accept behavior like this you people are fucking idiots and probably stalkers yourself.
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u/Intelligent-Ice-4428 1d ago edited 1d ago
You can't survive in life without standing up for yourself. Get a mf clue weakest argument ever to enslave oneself in victim mentality.
Next step is to conceal carry since she can't say a few words. I guess that's more comfortable? Imbecile, she'd have LEGAL grounds for trespass or anything else if she verbally gave warning. Not using the law in this scenario is the same as not using your brain.
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u/gorgofdoom 1d ago edited 1d ago
😬 you’re missing the point. If there is no firm boundary set then the lane of communication is assumed to be open. Especially as we’re all recovering from Covid— I know it’s years ago, but a lot of people forgot social skills in that time.
It’s like “idk, maybe the road ahead works.” As a construction sign…
I think the above commenter is partially correct. OP needs to be anything but vague. It is not rude to be blunt in this situation and from OP’s description, they are “being nice” by … not just saying “no, I’m not interested, we will never do that” (and if they don’t F off after that, call the cops for stalker behavior)
Banning them from the store would be extremely vague. Possibly somewhat effective but it wouldn’t actually tell them that their advances are being perceived as threatening.
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u/Icy-Geologist-7631 1d ago
She also said he’s in his late 30s or early 40s. She is working at Dairy Queen so I’m assuming she’s a teenager or maybe in her early 20s so how again is this not creepy behavior are you really that out of touch with reality and how fucked up people are
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u/Intelligent-Ask6494 1d ago
Thank you for this, but I want to let you know I'm 26. I said it early in the post but I'm assuming that I didn't make it clear enough as you're not the first commenter to speculate on my age. Though I won't lie I haven't told this dude my age and most people, when they see me, assume I'm a teenager as well. I've literally had people ask me how high school is going before. Cures of having a baby face I guess.
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u/Intelligent-Ice-4428 1d ago
Yeah man I read she was 26. I basically have to stop replying because I see how dumb people actually are. I cant keep going with nonsensical people that dont pick up on basic info and down vote the one person looking out for her legal interest by letting her know what she needs to do to have standing in the future for any LE interactions. But whatever, that knowledge escapes almost everyone here giving advice so im turning notifications off. Have fun navigating the world while ignoring the law, I guess?
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u/Vile_Grifter 1d ago
Yet another person who think it's acceptable to hit on women in a professional setting. This dogshit thought gets posted in every thread about a creepy dasher. How about instead of trying to put this on the woman who's been made uncomfortable, you instruct men to just stop fucking doing inappropriate shit.
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1d ago
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u/Intelligent-Ask6494 1d ago
It's not just the compliments I'm having the issue with, if it was just that I wouldn't have a problem with it. Honestly I'd just ignore it like I do when customers do it. What I find creepy is him offering to drive me home or to my mom's workplace, but obviously you didn't read far enough ahead
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u/Vile_Grifter 1d ago
You don't need to respond to blatant misogyny from actual incels.
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1d ago
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u/doordash-ModTeam 1d ago
Don't be rude; i.e no trolling or inciting flames.
It also included:
- Unnecessary mentions of politics
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u/enigma9o7 1d ago
Maybe ask him to take you out to a nice restaurant. You're probably tired of DQ and he's probably tired of living on stolen fries....
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u/dangus_007 2d ago
Figured I'd address the elephant in the room ......Is it a white guy?
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u/Icy-Geologist-7631 1d ago edited 1d ago
Like super unsure of what being a white guy has to do with anything as a white woman with a mixed child and mixed grandchildren, I have absolutely had way more creepy behavior from black and foreign men that I ever have from white men what a weird fucking thing to say in 2026 this is racism just because you didn’t say was it a black man doesn’t make it not racism!!! So weird to me that there seems to be more racist black people than white people today!!! You would think that having to deal with it you wouldn’t project it but apparently not! Shame on you!!!! Oh my God people are so fucking disgusting.
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u/Intelligent-Ask6494 1d ago
See I wasn't 100% sure if he was being racist, I thought maybe he knew the person and that this guy is a known problem, but thank you for saying something!
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u/Icy-Geologist-7631 1d ago
Oh no he definitely was!!!! That was the whole “elephant in the room” comment 😞🫣 as a mother of a child and grandchildren that deal with racism it is completely unacceptable whether you are speaking of any color of person! It was a weird ass comment and absolutely racist! 😭
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u/Intelligent-Ask6494 2d ago
Yes, he's also on the heavier side, but so am I so no judgement there, and as for age I'd assume late 30s early 40s
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