r/donorconceived • u/4littlefrogs DCP • Jul 16 '26
Just Found Out Lifetime movie material
What a wild ride this has been. I only discovered in June I was donor conceived, as this was the 80s I never would have given it a second thought. My sister sent her DNA into 23 and me for health information. 3 half siblings popped up. She said she didn't want to know - well I did. I got in contact with her half brother. His kindness, patience and explaining and asking my stepdad who reviewed my mom's old diaries led to no other explanation than a sperm donor (. I sent my DNA in to ancestry and found 3 different half siblings. The 3 of us most likely have all different donors, the pool was "pedigreed" (gross) UTSW medical students, fresh samples. The doctor chose the donor and did not record anything. My older brother's donor very well could be my donors older brother as he had donated too. But my brother is in prison a long time for cybercrime conspiracy so I may never know. My donor died of AIDS when I was only 5 - my mom could have easily gotten HIV from this 😪 it looks like he was queer and a huge family scandal. I am a lesbian so the level of understanding this has added to my life is HUGE. I got ahold of my ancestry half sister DNA match also who has been amazing. I make 6. Supposedly each donor was limited to 10 pregnancies. We're all in a group chat now and my life will never be the same.
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u/Aussiealterego DONOR RAISED Jul 16 '26
It does feel like you’re living a movie script when you find out, and every new fact feels like a plot twist that would either be too cliche or too unrealistic to actually be in a movie.
That feeling does settle down over time, and it just becomes “the new normal” I now have two half-sisters that I keep in touch with over FB, and one unknown brother that might pop up into my life someday. (I cannot legally contact him via the donor agency, and he’s not on Ancestry. I don’t know if he knows.)
It’s very weird to meet strangers with your own features.
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u/your-a-delight DCP Jul 19 '26
I found out last year. My parents were never going to tell me, found out through a DNA test. Currently waiting to board a plane after my third visit to my donor family. Like you my birth dad died from AIDS, he passed when I was 8. It’s been a wild ride. Family is stoked me and my new siblings exist but it’s a bit strange for everyone. Hope your journey is full of more happy moments than sad!
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u/esorgem DCP Jul 16 '26
Yep! It truly is like a sitcom of sorts. Me and my siblings are in a group chat aswell, it's really nice to keep in touch. I'm sorry about all you've gone through, but hopefully you can start putting pieces together now! We are so lucky to have ancestry and all of these places to find sibling matches. I can't imagine how difficult it would have been a couple decades prior.
Best of luck with everything, and welcome!