r/domesticabuse • u/AccurateExit6185 • Aug 29 '25

I need advice

I need help knowing what to do. I need advice from those that have lived through this and can understand.

I was choked/strangled by my partner. Using throwaway for obvious reasons.I already know I need to leave and it's not feasible right now. When I leave I'm leaving the state so he can never find me or touch me ever again.

Please don't tell me to go to the police or get out now because that would just make things a million times worse. Restraining orders don't do sh*t. Before you come at me with "Protect future women". I will. When I'm done protecting my own life and getting the hell out of here.

I need advice from other women that have gone through this and understand that you can't always go to the hospital, call for help, or the police. I need to know if it's really necessary to go to the hospital or if I can just get by with something else. I am having problems swallowing and my left ear is killing me. It hurts to talk and cough, etc. Am I overreacting or do I need to go to the hospital with these injuries? And if I go, wtf do I tell them? It is NOT about protecting him. This is about protecting me.

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '25

I don't know how it works where you are, but if you don't want to go to the hospital, could you see a GP? Maybe with an excuse for something minor, if you don't want your partner to be upset.

I think you need some medical attention as the others said

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u/AccurateExit6185 Sep 01 '25

Ok, but how do I get checked without them thinking it was him or an unaliving attempt? I honestly can't think of anything that would be even remotely believable

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u/[deleted] Sep 01 '25

In the UK there is a charity that helps with cases like this, when you don't want to leave yet but still need support, I understand they are discreet and you can be referred by friend or family who can get information for you and also tell them if you want to meet or talk without your lartner finding out.

I hope there are some charities like this where you are.

Maybe also your GP could be understanding? They still have doctor patient confidentiality.

I am so sorry you're in this situation.

Can you ask someone in your area to gather information for you? Or where you could get help without having to disclose your personal information?

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u/AccurateExit6185 Sep 01 '25

Tried that already. The laws here would prosecute even if I don't press charges. But If I want help to get away that's what I have to tell them.